|Trash talkin' Joe Owens|
|Charlie Dent wins footraces, too!|
Like most races, there was all kinds of music to get everyone pumped up before the starting gun fired. But unlike most races, there was a moving speech by Ashly's sister, who bravely beat back the tears as she talked. After that, a very somber Marine color guard started a slow march through the crowd, reminding us all why we were there.
|When they saw me, they called for this|
For every person who accepted my challenge and beat me, I agreed to pay $1 to Blue Star Mothers. Joe was there for a good cause, but I was still determined to beat his ass. I've been training for this day since early June, while he's been guzzling milkshakes and popping twinkies. He was wearing a forty-year old Phillies T-shirt that had already turned green with mold. And the "D" on his baseball cap obviously means "Deranged."
|Dent with Doug Reichley and his children|
When the race started, Owens immediately tripped up a few of the real runners in the front, guys from Kenya and Ireland, destroying their hopes for a personal best and sending a few to the hospital.
My strategy was to let him go and reel him in later.
After about a mile, I caught him by surprise. The second he saw me, he took off. And that's what happened for a long 3.1 miles. Every time I got close to Owens, he took off. Now, I won't say he cheated, but I did see Express Times reporter Sarah Cassi up ahead in a golf cart.
I never did reel him in. When the race was over, Joe had beaten me by about a minute ... or two. I have not seen his blog bragging about his victory yet, but he got me.
|Mike Schware and his cute little girl|
LV Congressman Charlie Dent beat both of us by a good ten minutes or more. So did State Rep. Doug Reichley. He ran the race with his daughter, a beautiful cheerleader, and handsome son. They were ahead of us, too. We were also clobbered by Allentown CPA Mike Schware, who ran the race with his cute little daughter holding his hand.
So far, I've listed the Republicans who beat us. What about the Democrats? Pat Slattery, a former state house candidate from Lower Macungie, nailed both of us, but he's 18' tall and his race was over after he took 3 steps.
Did I beat anybody? I'm pretty sure I clocked a seven year-old girl, and when she crossed the finish line, I began taunting her until her mother told me she was one of the walkers.
Most of them beat me too.
I did beat one person. Fellow blogger Jonathan Geeting had accepted my challenge, but never showed up. He must be too busy writing about the LV from Manhattan or Brooklyn or wherever he is these days. Had he gone, he could have learned that Congressman Dent has already conducted twenty town halls this year.
So that finishes this year's race. I'm a little poorer, but will continue training.
Wait 'till next year.
Updated 6:35 PM. The Joe Owens Fictional Account is here. - Actually, I'm surprised by how close my story is to his. I have to lie more. I cracked up at this sentence. "If it appears as if I'm trying not to get too close to O'Hare, well, his initials aren't B.O. for nothing."