Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Dennis Pearson, Pooh Bear ... Or Pole Dancer?

“Those who are clever, who have a Brain, never understand anything.” - Winnie the Pooh

When I called Lehigh County Commissioner candidate Dennis Pearson yesterday, it was about his possible use of a nonprofit for political purposes. But he had a much better story involving booze, strip clubs and intimidation of neighborhood residents. So I'll tell you about that, too.

First, the boring stuff.


Dennis administers the webpage for the East Allentown Rittersville Neighborhood Association, which is registered with the Department of State as a nonprofit corporation. It's a Dennis original, loaded with a hoakie MIDI Mash theme song, a picture of Winne the Pooh and Tigger too and, of course, a link to "Space, the Final Frontier."

So what's wrong with Winnie the Pooh? Nothing, but there's also a link to Dennis' Lehigh County Commissioner race, which should be a No No for a nonporfit. It's not that big of a deal because this is one nonprofit of very little money. But it's still wrong. Snotnose that I am, I confronted Pearson.

"Pooh," said Rabbit [O'hare] kindly, "you haven't any brain."

"I know," said Pooh [Dennis] humbly.

Dennis said he'd remove the link as soon as he could.

That's pretty good for a bear of very little brain.

Now, are you ready for the sexy stuff?

When you read this blog, Dennis will be sitting in some courtroom in Lehigh County, under subpoena, in a zoning war over what most of you know as Erv's BYOB, a "gentlemen's" club at the Airport Shopping Center.

Erv recently sold this strip club, along with a liquor license he harvested from Federal Bar and Grille, to Platinum Plus. That outfit operates a chain of this type of thing down South. A Memphis operator was tagged by the feds in 2008 for racketeering after conducting live sex shows featuring two women.

Not long after the hammer came down in Memphis, a South Carolina Assistant DA was caught ... in a cemetery ... at midday ... taking an 18 year-old girl to Space Mountain. After showing his badge, the prosecutor was free to go. The 18 year old girl? An employee of the local Platinum Plus Gentlemen's Club.

Maybe we should have let South Carolina secede after all.

The DA's name, by the way, was Corning. It's not better than Anthony Weiner, but still ... .

Well, Dennis's East Allentown Neighborhood Association and a bunch of other prudes raised a stink about Platinum Plus, especially since it would be selling booze after midnight. "It could cause all kinds of trouble," claims Dennis, a candidate of very little brain.

Attorney Bill Malkames, one of the best zoning lawyers in the Lehigh Valley, took up the cross and the Crusade began.

But who's paying Malkames?

Not Dennis, according to Dennis. Not the East Allentown Rittersville Neighborhood Association, according to Dennis. Not even the neighbors opposed to a strip club.

Attorneys representing Platinum Plus think the person pulling the strings is none other than Erv Featherman himself, the person who did operate Erv's BYOB. Maybe he's worried about competition with his strip club in Bath. Maybe he's not paying anyone.

Now here's where things get even stranger. Dennis tells me that he's been accused of being a patsy for Erv, with accusations that Erv is funding his political campaign and neighborhood newsletters.

Untrue, states Dennis. But then he states Erv did do some printing for him. Dennis paid for it. "I have the receipts," he tells me.

Dennis adds that, so far as he knows, Erv is no Lehigh County resident. "I think he lives in Bath," he speculates.

Did it ever cross Dennis' mind to wonder just why Erv would help his political campaign?

At the rate things are going, poor Dennis will be a pole dancer in another week.

Dennis the Pooh would say, "Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."

In the meantime, neighbors who feel they've been "intimidated" by Platinum Plus lawyers are dropping out of the case, one-by-one. Dennis's East Allentown Rittersville Neighborhood Association has pulled the plug, too. But poor Dennis still has to be in Court today.

I just hope he's not wearing his Chippendale attire.
Wednesday Evening Update: Part of my story refers to a Platinum Plus in Memphis, which specialized in sex shows. I've been asked to clarify that this Platinum Plus has no connection to the Platinum Plus coming to Allentown. ... Or to the credit card.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny as hell!

Anonymous said...

Dennis is a special kind of guy, Bless his heart. Stop picking on him O'Hare. You are a lowlife mongrel drunk.

At least this guy is trying to be constructive. Unlike you, no one believes he is trying to game anyone.

Anonymous said...

Dennis has always been a honest and selfless servant only looking out for the bests interests of East Allentown

michael molovinsky said...

bernie, as a fellow blogger, although i involve myself in issues such as the arena, i prefer to stay away from endorsements and candidates. although I bill myself as an independent and non-partisan, i will make an exception this year, and endorse dennis pearson. anybody who has been a 7 day a week community activist for 30 years gets my vote. i have on several occasions seen dennis point out budget and other mistakes to the experts. although he may appear in a space suit here, or as pooh bear, in my eyes, he is a untiring devoted citizen who i proudly support. michael molovinsky

Anonymous said...

honest and selfless? the guy is using a non-profit organization for campaign purposes and is getting help from a strip club operator. what is honest about that? the guy wants to be important so badly that he'll use non-profit resources illegally and get campaign help from sleeze peddlers. wow!

michael molovinsky said...

anon 6:45, the key word in your comment is anonymous. dennis has been a neighborhood leader for 30 years, attending thousands of meetings and fighting hundreds of battles on behalf of the east side. as an opponent of a strip club, he got subpoenaed to court on a zoning matter. i use moderation on my blog to keep uninformed, cheap shot accusers like yourself away.

Bernie O'Hare said...

2 AM Troll,

I certainly don't think for a minute that Dennis was trying to game anyone, or this post would have been much different. Because you lack a sense of humor and most of a brain, you don't get that.

Anonymous said...

Dennis does try to do good work but there's no excuse for his campaign link. As a "teacher" he knows better.
He's been a constant at Allentown council meetings for about 100 years and as Bernie reported today, another nearby community had no one, not one single resident, attend its monthly government meeting. Why Dennis would allow Erv to print anything for him is unattractive. Dennis easily could have gone to the Staples in the Bethlehem Shopping Center and used their 5 cent per copy copier.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I have not decided yet on who I think is best in LC. I am not particularly troubled by Dennis's innocent ties to Erv. I am also pleased at how he responded to that link from the nonprofit webpage.

Anonymous said...

What's the problem with strippers?

Sincerely,

The guy that got busted for taking pictures of future strippers in the creek

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I don't know about anyone else but I love the little looney tune! I really do!!

Anonymous said...

Interesting inside tidbit, albeit many years later -
When Erv's was still Erv's, there was also a union print shop on the other side of the building. This too was owned by Erv, but not directly run by him. Much of the work done was political printing. The print shop did indeed print for Mr. Pearson, who paid his bill promptly (admirable, considering many politicians printed for didn't) and without discount... as far as I could tell there were no favors done!