Yes, it's voter fraud, but I'm a Democrat. It's what we do.
Now I only had one clean shirt left, a gigantic orange T-shirt with a big hole in the armpit. But who the hell would notice that in the slate belt? I might actually be a bit overdressed because I still have most of my teeth. I rambled on up to Angle country in my rusty Jeep and was walking all over the place in flip flops and my tattered big orange shirt.
I fit right in.
Well, I ran out of change at the baby picture display pretty quickly, so I figured I would get something to eat, and pour all my change into the selection of baby #64. I got a big, greasy cheesesteak loaded with fried onions, sauce and hot peppers. In the course of trying to eat it, I spilled about half of the sauce and onions all over my bright orange shirt.
Who the hell cares? Nobody even knows me up there. I threw the change into the slot.
Well, it wasn't quite enough change, so I decided to get a taco salad, too. As I walked away with it, some little brat banged into me, knocking those chopped tomatoes and little pieces of ground meat all over me. Now, little flies were following me as I shoved the change into the slot.
I was going to leave for home and take a shower, but saw waffles and ice cream. I had to get some of that, too. As I was putting the change into the slot, stuffing the ballot, I heard someone shout out.
I turned around, and it was LV congressional candidate Sam Bennett. There she was with an aide, not campaigning at the Blue Valley Farm show, just like she was not campaigning at Musikfest.
I had just finished a week of pretty tough posts about her candidacy, so my first instinct was to run like hell. But that sauce, taco chunks and ice cream had slowed me down. So there I was, cornered like a big orange slob.
To make matters worse, Northampton County council member Charles Dertinger was with her, too. I slammed him at least once last week.
I was expecting a lecture or worse, but Bennett was actually very nice to me. She even told me where to get a really good Lutheran sausage sandwich. She also gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her. Her campaign finally started including me in their press releases, and she told me that was her doing. I believe her, too.
As she left to not campaign, she shook my hand, saying, "Nice seeing you." Her aide did the same thing. "Nice seeing you." Dertinger just looked at me and said, "Seeing you."
Deringer was probably a little miffed because I kept calling him "Charlie" and he prefers being called "Charles." Also, I'll bet Sam didn't give him her phone number.
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