As a bottom-feeding blogger myself, I am in regular contact with Satan. He's really pissed about the whole situation, and is threatening to sue. "If Trump can threaten the RNC not to use his name without his permission, you can be damn sure no queer little rapper is going to get away with this," he vowed.
He's already hired Sydney Powell.
"And what's with the drop of human blood? Do I look like a frickin' vampire to you? I and don't understand how the Lebanese can handle kibbeh without hurling. Yet I'm the Evil One."
"Whenever some idiot gets a goofy idea, why is it always my fault? I want people's souls, not their soles."
"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Lynch," continued Mephistopheles. "I hate face masks just as much as he does, especially down here. And guess what, my bars are open! I even let my customers smoke!"
"I let everyone open carry down here."
He complained he's getting tired of all the "fake news" about him. "Read the frickin' Bible. I'm the Morning Star, dude."