Monday, March 29, 2021

Lynch Warns of Satanists and Demonic Entities in Our Midst

I was going to make a gazillion dollars by selling 666 pairs of "Satan shoes" that each contain a drop of human blood. Unfortunately, some little rapper beat me to it. I'm a little pissed about this, but not as much as NorCo's GOP Exec candidate, Steve Lynch. On Facebook, we warns that "corrupt leaders have been setting the stage for decades for satanists and demonic entities to bring their powers into the mainstream." Incidentally, he's wearing "the armor of God," so he's got that going for him.  

As a bottom-feeding blogger myself, I am in regular contact with Satan. He's really pissed about the whole situation, and is threatening to sue. "If Trump can threaten the RNC not to use his name without his permission, you can be damn sure no queer little rapper is going to get away with this," he vowed. 

He's already hired Sydney Powell. 

"And what's with the drop of human blood? Do I look like a frickin' vampire to you? I and don't understand how the Lebanese can handle kibbeh without hurling. Yet I'm the Evil One." 

"Whenever some idiot gets a goofy idea, why is it always my fault? I want people's souls, not their soles." 

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Lynch," continued Mephistopheles. "I hate face masks just as much as he does, especially down here. And guess what, my bars are open! I even let my customers smoke!" 

"I let everyone open carry down here."

He complained he's getting tired of all the "fake news" about him. "Read the frickin' Bible. I'm the Morning Star, dude." 


Anonymous said...

Gracedale. All that should matter is a verdict on deadly Gracedale. A guy is going to get away with complicity in mass murder of elderly citizens - the worst in state history. And this is Rs best candidate. Holy actual shit.

Anonymous said...

While most believe Satan is a force rather than an individual. We can assume the goal of Satanists is the destruction of the human race. Do you doubt that there are groups who actually believe and worship Satan? What is their goal?

Anonymous said...

Why post inane drivel on this blog ?

Anonymous said...

TRUE STORY!!! Years ago both Satanists and demonic entities were indeed interested in utilizing American government institutions as their primary method of bringing about the global downfall of society and to usher forth their true vision of hell on Earth where depravity, depression and unholy fornication would rule the day. Lots of planning, meetings and memos were involved.

However, once the Satanists and demonic entities actually saw what was involved with being a part of government, the bitching, the moaning, the hypocrisy and the people they'd have to work with they just threw their hands up in disgust and scrapped the whole plan.

C said...

Michael the Archangel, protect us in battle.....

Anonymous said...

At least he talks about issues and not just himself. Is this a McClure campaign site? It sure seems like one.

Unknown said...

Funny on the Lebanese kibbeh!! ha ha!!
Marta Gabriel