All they found were cupcakes.
Trachta and his sidekick, part-time Officer Danny Troxell, want to prosecute the Sticker Gang and yours truly for making false reports. That way they can do another perp walk with new chains. He was daydreaming about that yesterday, when the phone rang, with a mysterious voice on the other end.
Voice: "How's it going, Cupcake?"
Trachta: "That's Chief Cupcake to you, asshole."
Voice: "All right, all right, don't get touchy. It's not like I'm ISIS ready to behead the Mayor at the Indian Tower. Did you want pepperoni on that piz---
Trachta: "Troxell, get in here."
Troxell: "Yes, Chief, What can I do Chief? Can I play the siren again?"
Trachta (lowered voice): "Shh. Get the Pentagon on the line while I keep this terrorist on the phone. This asshole doesn't know I was a New York City cop,"
Troxell: "Yes Chief, right away, Chief"
Trachta (back on the phone): "Now listen, you bastard, you know America doesn't negotiate with terrorists, don't you?"
Voice: "Dude, I was just asking if you want pepperoni on your pizza.
Troxell: "Missiles, away, Chief!"
Troxell: "They'll be here in three, two, one ...
Half of Nazareth disintegrates and the line goes dead.
Trachta: "Mother of God, What the Hell did you just do??"
Troxell (looking out window): "That blowed up good, Chief. Real good!"
Trachta (as sirens wail): "Another false alarm. The Sticker Gang will pay for this!!!"
Troxell: "My daddy will say you did the right thing. Where's our pizza, Chief?"