By day, Bernie Kieklak is an effective legislative aide in the land of midnight payraises. But in the evening hours, especially during a full moon, he changes into his blogging costume and becomes Bernie Takes No Prisoners (BTNP)! He fills this and many other blogs with entertaining, intelligent and edgy commentary. He's an insider who's easily a better writer than me or most anyone I know.
But over the past few weeks, he's posted increasingly bizarre and bigoted comments about nuking Iraqis and Muslim holy sites, followed by sexist rants directed at Sam Bennett and female bloggers.
Unfortunately for BTNP, The Morning Call has noticed. Washington correspondent Josh Drobnyk called me last night with a zillion questions.
"Sooo, you live in Nazareth?"
"Is that Nazareth proper?"
Yes, sir. (I'm not really sure. It might be Nazareth improper).
"Soooo, you're a title searcher?"
"Sooooo, Why didn't you delete these comments?"
(I'm sweating now). Well, they were made by a state senator's chief of staff, and she's eyeing a run at congress. It's important we know what her people say.
"What ... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
African or European?
Drobnyk, who had a deadline, quickly hung up. But I have a feeling a story is imminent, and it's unlikely Josh will publish the actual words used. So here's a few of the inflammatory nuggets from the "world according to BTNP, aka Bernie Kieklak."
May 28, Bernie's nuke'em Iraq solution:
1) Withdraw every American boy and girl who is over there. It is immoral, unconscionable, and against all of the principles our great country was founded upon for EVEN ONE American to die defending a savage, ruthless people who only want to kill us;
2) Drop the biggest, baddest nukes we have all over Iraq, but especially on their most sacred Muslim shrines;
3) Watch as their piece-of-shit, poor excuse for a country is vaporized and reduced to radioactive rubble;
4) Let Allah sort them out; and
5) Then take a good, hard look at the rest of the terrorists' nests in the Middle East (while we're re-loading), and ask ourselves one simple question, "Who's next?"
June 7, Kieklak's sensitive response to Look Out Lehigh Valley, a young Allentown Dem who happens to be a woman:
*) LOLV spends 4 hours a night deciding whether to wear the "fuck me like the pig that I am" pumps or the "fuck me like the slut I am" pumps;
*) Sammy Bennett is a phony political whore who gives good head and makes cheap, blatant political opportunists look like Mother Fucking Teresa. Even her pussy is made of plastic.
Look Out Lehigh Valley politely observed "it's real gross when grown men speak that way." That led to even more comments.
* Listen, Missy (or Sweetie or Piggy or whatever the homeless guys you bang call you), the LAST thing you want is my undivided attention;
* Save your femi-Nazi, psycho babble bullshit for when you're on the Springer Show talking about how your uncle raped your dog in your trailer and made you watch Rusty howl just like you do.
After I told BTNP his comments are sexist, he continued on his merry way.
I truly apologize. I didn't know I was posting on the Vatican's blog.
Because BTNP does work as a state senator's chief of staff, other bloggers and commenters tend to fawn over him. This is especially so since his boss, Lisa Boscola, was considering a run for congress. A few Dems hypocritically jumped on his sexist bandwagon.
Let me tell you what I think. I've never met Look Out Lehigh Valley and don't really care for Sam Bennett. But I got physically angry when BTNP implied LOLV was a tramp and vomited all that baloney about rape. It's indecent. What I detest most is the hypocricy of phonies like Kieklak and his ilk. They spout pious platitudes about "equality" and "equal opportunity" and "protecting a woman’s right to choose." But when you strip away the veneer, you still see sexists, racists and bigots. Now he's ranting about the first amendment. Well, don't I have a first amendment right to say his statements are offensive? That's a bullshit argument.
Hear that noise?
That's the air going out of Lisa Boscola's congressional ambition. If The Morning Call has picked up on this, you can rest assured Republicans are taking notes, too.
Update: The Morning Call has, indeed, published this story. "Asked whether he thought others might be offended by what he wrote, [Kieklak] responded, 'Do you think I care?' " That's why he needs to go.
Update #2: The Morning Call now reports that Bernie Kieklak has been suspended from his $94,172 job, without pay, and he'll be required to undergo some form of counseling. Kieklak has actually resigned, but Boscola has not yet accepted it.