About Me

My photo
Nazareth, Pa., United States

Monday, June 18, 2007

Bernie Kieklak Parodies Galore!

I'm no early bird. I need all the beauty sleep I can get. But at the crack of dawn today, my phone was blaring like a fog horn.

I stumbled to the phone, stubbing my toe in the process, and finally got there in writhing agony. The lady at the other end, a woman I work with, was "cackling maniacally."

"Bernie, have you checked out Bill White's column today. Bernie K is a pirate, trying to pick up the ladies in a bar."

"Arrrghhh." (Not a pirate sound, it's my damn toe).

I've checked out Bill's column, and it's one of his funniest. It was worth the early call. Even the stubbed toe.

There are more parodies at LV Poliblog and LV Road Rage.

Shiver me timbers!


Anonymous said...

15 men on a dead mans chest,yo ho-ho- and bottle of rum , vodka , whiskey , ahhh give me any thing you got mate,shiver me timbers (burrrrrrrppp) hey who did that you @%^*!#++ stinken $%^#@~)( whoa,that got me in trouble before).
Give me water with lemon please. I think I can't hold my booze,lets vote me a raise ,wait did'nt I get fired or something . Too much grog ,what day is this, May what , !!!!!!! Oh it's June ,hello my name is Bluebeard,no , no Bernie K. I think , Lisa what day is this,where am I.
I hope I was dreaming.............

Anonymous said...

Bernie, I was going to suggest that we have a haiku contest. I didn't follow the traditional haiku rule of 5,7,5 but I think it still works.

An Ode to Bernie K

Chief of Scurrility
More contumelies, no apologies
Would you like fries with that?

Anonymous said...

There was an old man named kieklak,
Whose sense of propriety was A-Whack
He thought with his Schlong,
and rambled on far too long.
and got caught drinking a jug full of Budcrack!

Bernie O'Hare said...

I can't compete with any of this!

Anonymous said...

Ok enough with Bernie. What about Severson. I would like to hear more. Are you scared of Severson Bernie? Are you waiting for some informant? Give me an update. You would be shocked to hear who Severson's latest client is. You would be shocked.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:38 - PLEASE, spill the beans! I'm ready to be shocked!

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:29 - loved the limerick!

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 10:38,

1) We need closure w/ BTNP. So long as he is in limbo, this story does not go away. There is no place for sexism, racism or bigotry. Boscola has wasted five days without action.

2)Severson scares the shit out of me. I admit it. But guess what? That may not be page #1 news but I think it's a bigger and more important story. I do have more, and you will get it this week.

3) I knoew Severson is working for McClure. Anyone else?

Anonymous said...

Bernie, I'm not spilling the beans about Severson until you shut up about BTNP. The guy is obviously a moron and so is Boscola. I have a friend who works in her office and he tells me BTNP is that obnoxious every day of the week. So whats the big deal.
It's hard to track Severson because he has phony businesses set up in Jersey. Find out the names of those businesses and you we be in blog funck'n heaven. And Severson will probably beat the shit out of you several times with his logo watches.

Anonymous said...

Severson is a mean bastard who wouldn't think twice about squashing you.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:04 - you're no fun. Just one more haiku and I'll be quiet.

Boscola Speaks
Vulgar, malapert aide,
I'll read him the riot act!
Is vacation over?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 11:04,

It's a pretty big deal, dude. If your friend is right, then Boscola obviously condones this behavior. That's an even bigger deal.

But as big as that is, Severson is worse. He tries to destroy the democratic process w/ last minute smear campaigns. Anonymous mailers, half-truths, working both sides of the fence, etc.

I know who I'm dealiong with, and I know he's clever. But guess what? He's stepped on it this time. And I'm not letting go. I don't give a shit how mean a bastard he may be. He's bad for government.

Anonymous said...

The Severson deal is important and we are all waiting to hear more. But the incident with BTNP and Lisa is to me still a bigger deal. I know the protective circle is trying to shift off this topic as soon as possible but not so fast. Bernie O'hater is right this is a sitting State Senator who went on vacation. It's time to make a decision. Evertyone in the political world knows the history of Lisa nad BTNP, they have been very close for many years and he is good at what he does. Most folks have just ignored their relationship as long as people are represented well, but this is a major distraction that is affecting our representation. Severnson another bad guy pol. advisor who BO will detail. But I won't take my eyes off the ball in the Senators office untill we get some closure. I respect loyalty its rare today, especially in politics. But at some point you have to cut the cord. For the record I think most of Lisa's staff are top shelf, they have helped me in the past and I hate to see them dragged through this mess. Lisa must have a loyalty to them too.


Bernie O'Hare said...

Old Fart, I don't mind O'Hater, but BO? That hurts. I use deodorant once a week whether I need it or not.

river said...

the pirate ship was great... but I kind of likened Bernie Kieklak as Joseph Goebbels of the Third Reich

river said...

okd fart says" Evertyone in the political world knows the history of Lisa nad BTNP, they have been very close for many years and he is good at what he does. " B K is very good at what he does... Just read his blog posts !!!

Anonymous said...

does btnp = bernie tastes no pussy?

or does btnp = bernie tickles norm's penis?

the audience would like to know.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Come on, dude.