(Not so) Jolly Joe Timmer for Bill White's Hall of Fame

The other day, a blogger thought he put me in my place when he argued that, unlike him, I've been threatened with libel. Actually, I consider that a compliment. I must be twisted. In the past year, it's happened four times. The four horsemen of my apocalypse include NorCo councilman Lamont McClure, Silkwerks aristocrat Patrick Gray, Taggart Associates and Jolly Joe Timmer. With the exception of (not so) Jolly Joe, it's a pretty distinguished bunch. And I want to thank them because they've really created a lot of interest in this blog and the rest of the local blogosphere.

Of the four, the most vocal critic by far has been (not so) Jolly Joe, owner of WGPA Sunny 1100 AM. You see, I'm pals with Norco Councilman Ron Angle, who humbly refers to himself as the Emperor. He and Timmer fought like cats and dogs when Angle did a talk show at Timmer's station. I tried to stay out of it. I figured this was just two rich guys arguing over dimes and nickels. They do that, you know. That's why they're rich. But what I've seen in the last few months has convinced me that (not so) Jolly Joe possesses all the qualifications for membership in Bill White's esteemed Hall of Fame.

Mind you, I never had a problem with Timmer until a few months ago. I actually liked him. He once gave my grandson some candy and two tickets to the Reading Phillies. I thought we were buds.

But all that changed one day a few months ago. I did Ron's radio show one day so he could stock up on some fish oil. When the show was over, I climbed over boxes of toilet paper, spam, old watches and cat food that the polka king clutters in his throne room. That studio is like a dollar store, but everything is all over the place instead of in aisles. The boxes and junk start along the stairs to the studio. Sometimes I bring a machete.

I would always say hi to the bossman whenever I did Angle's show, and this was no exception. When I finally reached the summit of debris atop a Kotex box, I spotted (not so) Jolly Joe and started waving. He erupted, like Vesuvius, with an obscenity-laced tirade against Angle, his sponsors, his fans and me. We're no good. And he bragged he checks the caller ID at the studio to see who calls Angle. "I'll get him, just you wait and see."

Alrighty then. Cuckoo!

If you've ever listened to Timmer's show, and you probably haven't, you know this is no exaggeration. You've heard him, on the air, identify Angle callers by name and trash them. Then he'll read a few anonymous emails that stroke his massive ego. From there, he rants about Angle sponsors who fall behind on their bills. Because he never names them, the listener is left to wonder whether all of Angle's sponsors are deadbeats. I'm no businessman, but this is no way to draw radio advertisers. And at least once every two days, he moans our state legislature has to do something soon about making the polka, or at least the chicken dance, Pennsylvania's official romp. Property tax reform can wait.

When Ron finally bade farewell to WGPA 1100 AM's listening audience, he tried to go out with class, believe it or not. But class went out the window a few hours later when (not so) Jolly Joe Timmer danced a polka over Ron Angle's grave for two hours. It continued again the next day. I finally turned the dial, but River reports Timmer also had some fun with my pic (who doesn't?) and is considering a libel suit again over a recent blog. Actually, my blog is harmless compared to a Bill White column, which uses the following phrases to describe Timmer and his polka show: "[Timmer was] cackling maniacally ... milestone in weird broadcasting ... [s]urreal as it was the music started getting to me ... ." Hey, (not so) Jolly Joe, sue White! I'm pretty sure his statement about disliking polka music is libel per se.

You'd think Timmer, suspenders and all, would be doing cartwheels these days. He just got rid of his nemesis, the evil Ron Angle, and managed to luck into the popular Ken Matthews, at least for a week, for free. Life is good! Tuesday, I was working from home, so I gave Matthews a listen. I liked his self-deprecating humor. No controversy. His edgy topic of the day? "What's a real man?"

That all changed when (not so) Jolly Joe started his own show a few hours later. His topic - "What the hell are blogs?" He claims there's no definition in his hundred year old dictionary, so I guess we don't exist. But then he fessed up that he's actually read both Bill White and me. That's because we've both blogged about (not so) Jolly Joe's favorite topic - him.

In fact, he read Bill's recent post about Ken Matthews nearly verbatim. What he does is read a few sentences, and then adds a remark like "Oh, really?" or "We'll see about that." He never really refutes anything, but guttersnipes whoever criticizes him, and adds a few "heh, heh hehs" and "ho ho hos". And he always promises changes are coming real soon. He even did it Tuesday. I no longer know whether he's talking about the station or some government coup. Maybe that's why he wears a crown.

After listening to him snark bloggers for about a half hour, I called in and read a definition on the air. That shut him up for the day, but he'll be back at it again tomorrow, whining about White and Carpenter for days.

Oh, did I mention Paul Carpenter? He's that other Morning Call columnist, and wrote about Timmer, too. Now Carpenter despises Angle nearly as much as Jolly Joe Long, and was kind to the King of Polka. He even likes polkas. But (not so) Jolly Joe is upset with Carpenter, too. Go figure.

Timmer reminds me of Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob Squarepants. He'd dive down a toilet if a dime fell in the bowl. He hawks shirts and watches from his station. His employees make minimum wage. His radio web page offers to make you a "radio star" with a 55 minute program for just $150. His latest Arbitron ratings? In the basement. And now his main draw is gone. He drummed Angle out, and is still complaining about the situation weeks after he kicked him off the air.

Does this make any sense at all?

It does if you're Bill White Hall of Fame material. Completely illogical reactions. Monumental ego. Trashing listeners and sponsors on the air. He's a cinch.

Update: I've just been informed that I've been nominated to White's illustious Hall of Fame myself. I want to thank Corp-guy, who offers these reasons: "Bernie O'Hare, who uses his blog to target people he hates and through logic only a dis-barred attorney could use try to destroy them. I know you think he is an asset but he is a bitter little man who picks and chooses the so called evil he goes after. Innocent people have been hurt by his cruelty." He's on to me. I graduated from dis-barred attorney logic school.