On Tuesday, I told you about being knocked off my high horse. Today, when I reported to have my stitches removed, I was whisked away by a team of laughing proctologists. At least I think they were proctologists. They kept saying, "We'll fix your ass, bippy." Then some guy named Mad Batter started whaling away. "You want pictures of my wife? I'll give you pictures. Blog this, asswipe!" I just woke up in a strange room with some guy named Bruno and I don't like the way he's looking at me.
Fortunately, I can still blog. I'm using my tongue to peck away this message from my stupid cell phone. I feel like Stephen Hawking. Maybe now I can write about black holes or something.