About Me

My photo
Nazareth, Pa., United States

Friday, March 12, 2010

Meet Northampton County's Lizard, Liz Russo

"Beware the Lizard."

That's the sign Liz Russo has hanging from her desk in the Northampton County Prothonotary's file room. Must be her nickname or something. But she's a babe, not a reptile. She even has the rare golden eyes of a raptor, just like Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King.

Does royal blood flow in her veins? Almost. Her dad is legendary Lafayette College football coach Bill Russo, so that puts her in the ranks of Lehigh Valley nobility, unless you're a Lehigh alum.

Instead of sporting a tiara, she cracks jokes. In fact, she's appeared on Saturday Night Live, was a regional finalist in Star Search and has appeared at numerous stand-up comedy clubs in NYC.

"At one point or another and/or currently I have been a standup comedienne, model, and actress as well as a producer, director, teacher, web designer, administrative assistant, deli manager, bartender, waitress, and a million other things ... now a file clerk for Northampton County Courthouse...."

A what?

I told you she's funny.

She's finally starting to do stand-up again, having recently performed at Phillipsburg's Wardell. That's a good thing. You can see some video clips of her in action on her myspace page, where she mostly pokes fun at herself. She has a weight problem, even underwent a gastric bypass, and that's the subject of most of her humor.

For example, she claims she sold her virginity for a Snickers. "There's nothing like a hand full of nutz." She doesn't really want to be skinny. "I'm just trying to get down to whore wight." She'd like to lose weight because she "would prefer wearing a belly ring to a door knocker."

When we are all talking about the unfortunate Seaworld trainer who was killed by an Orca, she was the one who piped up and said, "They're called killer whales for a reason. That one is a serial killer."

I stole her line.

I'm going to beg her to attend a few Council meetings. She'll have fodder for years worth of stand-up.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stay away from her Ohare. The last thing she needs is a lech like you leering at her.

Stephanie said...

I was at the Wardell on Wednesday night. (Well, really I'm at the Wardell MOST Wednesday nights, since my husband hosts the open mic and now I'm basically a comedy groupie.) Liz did an awesome job, I hope she continues to come to the open mics there!!

Anonymous said...

Oh My Gosh! This is news! Can you tell us how Coach Russo is doing? Is he well?

Liz said...

Already Bernie I have people talking about seeing me on the blog. "Hey get me a file, and say something funny when you do it!" Oh boy...no pressure or anything...

Wow, can't believe someone saw me at the Wardel! Thanks so much! I'll be there again March 17th, this coming wednesday to get up again. And it will be my birthday that day too!

Coach Russo is great. I love my dad. He's retired in North Carolina with my mom and playing with the two dogs. :-) Thanks for asking.

Come in to get a file, get a piece of candy, and maybe I'll think of a joke to tell ya. :-)

--Liz

Glen Tickle said...

Nice write-up Ms. Russo. You work with my wife! Kind of. You both work for the county. (Earlier commenter Stephanie = Mrs. Tickle)

The show at the Wardell is there every Wednesday and we're all excited to have Liz back next week for the big St. Patrick's Day show, that is probably getting co-opted as The Liz Russo birthday show.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I'll be there Wednesday. My grandson has baseball, but this is after dark, right? Let's see how many sourpusses I can get to come.
You should make it a Northampton County night. I think Stoffa wants to try his hand at stand-up, too. Why do you think he wears that Sherlock Holmes hat?

trollvilla said...

I am watching you!

Anonymous said...

A guy named O'Hare walks into the bar, as he sits down on a stool and he notices there's a Lizard telling jokes on the stage. The guy says to the barman "Hey whats up with the lizard" barmaid replies "Oh she's the stand up chameleon”

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bernie O'Hare said...

If you want to make an allegation like that, you will have to identify yourself and be detailed.