Meet Northampton County's Lizard, Liz Russo

"Beware the Lizard."

That's the sign Liz Russo has hanging from her desk in the Northampton County Prothonotary's file room. Must be her nickname or something. But she's a babe, not a reptile. She even has the rare golden eyes of a raptor, just like Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King.

Does royal blood flow in her veins? Almost. Her dad is legendary Lafayette College football coach Bill Russo, so that puts her in the ranks of Lehigh Valley nobility, unless you're a Lehigh alum.

Instead of sporting a tiara, she cracks jokes. In fact, she's appeared on Saturday Night Live, was a regional finalist in Star Search and has appeared at numerous stand-up comedy clubs in NYC.

"At one point or another and/or currently I have been a standup comedienne, model, and actress as well as a producer, director, teacher, web designer, administrative assistant, deli manager, bartender, waitress, and a million other things ... now a file clerk for Northampton County Courthouse...."

A what?

I told you she's funny.

She's finally starting to do stand-up again, having recently performed at Phillipsburg's Wardell. That's a good thing. You can see some video clips of her in action on her myspace page, where she mostly pokes fun at herself. She has a weight problem, even underwent a gastric bypass, and that's the subject of most of her humor.

For example, she claims she sold her virginity for a Snickers. "There's nothing like a hand full of nutz." She doesn't really want to be skinny. "I'm just trying to get down to whore wight." She'd like to lose weight because she "would prefer wearing a belly ring to a door knocker."

When we are all talking about the unfortunate Seaworld trainer who was killed by an Orca, she was the one who piped up and said, "They're called killer whales for a reason. That one is a serial killer."

I stole her line.

I'm going to beg her to attend a few Council meetings. She'll have fodder for years worth of stand-up.