Allentown resident Zee Weikel, age 75, may look harmless. She was even mugged outside her apartment on the 1100 block of Turner Street last year. But feel no pity. She's a desperate outlaw herself.
As she confessed during Saturday's "Allentown Speak Out" forum, she occasionally has yard sales when the weather is nice. "I'm on a limited income, and this gives me something extra so I can go out with my girlfriends every now and then."
Thanks to Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski, this criminal behavior has come to a screeching halt. While toolin' down Turner in his big ass municipal SUV, he spotted one of Zee's yard sales, and dispatched his minions to shut her down.
City officials surrounded her, demanding to see her papers, telling her she can only have a yard sale once every thirty years or something without a special dispensation that ensures the city gets a cut of the action.
Thank God for Mayor Pawlowski and his vigilant eye on street crime! Imagine if some of the beautiful people dining at Johnny Mañana's were forced to see some old lady - and a poor person no less - selling used underwear or something. One skidmark and they'd start hurling chunky salsa, quesadillas and margaritas all over the place. It might even make the gangs leave town.
By the way, that's Johnny Mañana's with a ñ, not an n, damn it!