Wednesday, June 06, 2007

(Not so) Jolly Joe Timmer for Bill White's Hall of Fame

The other day, a blogger thought he put me in my place when he argued that, unlike him, I've been threatened with libel. Actually, I consider that a compliment. I must be twisted. In the past year, it's happened four times. The four horsemen of my apocalypse include NorCo councilman Lamont McClure, Silkwerks aristocrat Patrick Gray, Taggart Associates and Jolly Joe Timmer. With the exception of (not so) Jolly Joe, it's a pretty distinguished bunch. And I want to thank them because they've really created a lot of interest in this blog and the rest of the local blogosphere.

Of the four, the most vocal critic by far has been (not so) Jolly Joe, owner of WGPA Sunny 1100 AM. You see, I'm pals with Norco Councilman Ron Angle, who humbly refers to himself as the Emperor. He and Timmer fought like cats and dogs when Angle did a talk show at Timmer's station. I tried to stay out of it. I figured this was just two rich guys arguing over dimes and nickels. They do that, you know. That's why they're rich. But what I've seen in the last few months has convinced me that (not so) Jolly Joe possesses all the qualifications for membership in Bill White's esteemed Hall of Fame.

Mind you, I never had a problem with Timmer until a few months ago. I actually liked him. He once gave my grandson some candy and two tickets to the Reading Phillies. I thought we were buds.

But all that changed one day a few months ago. I did Ron's radio show one day so he could stock up on some fish oil. When the show was over, I climbed over boxes of toilet paper, spam, old watches and cat food that the polka king clutters in his throne room. That studio is like a dollar store, but everything is all over the place instead of in aisles. The boxes and junk start along the stairs to the studio. Sometimes I bring a machete.

I would always say hi to the bossman whenever I did Angle's show, and this was no exception. When I finally reached the summit of debris atop a Kotex box, I spotted (not so) Jolly Joe and started waving. He erupted, like Vesuvius, with an obscenity-laced tirade against Angle, his sponsors, his fans and me. We're no good. And he bragged he checks the caller ID at the studio to see who calls Angle. "I'll get him, just you wait and see."

Alrighty then. Cuckoo!

If you've ever listened to Timmer's show, and you probably haven't, you know this is no exaggeration. You've heard him, on the air, identify Angle callers by name and trash them. Then he'll read a few anonymous emails that stroke his massive ego. From there, he rants about Angle sponsors who fall behind on their bills. Because he never names them, the listener is left to wonder whether all of Angle's sponsors are deadbeats. I'm no businessman, but this is no way to draw radio advertisers. And at least once every two days, he moans our state legislature has to do something soon about making the polka, or at least the chicken dance, Pennsylvania's official romp. Property tax reform can wait.

When Ron finally bade farewell to WGPA 1100 AM's listening audience, he tried to go out with class, believe it or not. But class went out the window a few hours later when (not so) Jolly Joe Timmer danced a polka over Ron Angle's grave for two hours. It continued again the next day. I finally turned the dial, but River reports Timmer also had some fun with my pic (who doesn't?) and is considering a libel suit again over a recent blog. Actually, my blog is harmless compared to a Bill White column, which uses the following phrases to describe Timmer and his polka show: "[Timmer was] cackling maniacally ... milestone in weird broadcasting ... [s]urreal as it was the music started getting to me ... ." Hey, (not so) Jolly Joe, sue White! I'm pretty sure his statement about disliking polka music is libel per se.

You'd think Timmer, suspenders and all, would be doing cartwheels these days. He just got rid of his nemesis, the evil Ron Angle, and managed to luck into the popular Ken Matthews, at least for a week, for free. Life is good! Tuesday, I was working from home, so I gave Matthews a listen. I liked his self-deprecating humor. No controversy. His edgy topic of the day? "What's a real man?"

That all changed when (not so) Jolly Joe started his own show a few hours later. His topic - "What the hell are blogs?" He claims there's no definition in his hundred year old dictionary, so I guess we don't exist. But then he fessed up that he's actually read both Bill White and me. That's because we've both blogged about (not so) Jolly Joe's favorite topic - him.

In fact, he read Bill's recent post about Ken Matthews nearly verbatim. What he does is read a few sentences, and then adds a remark like "Oh, really?" or "We'll see about that." He never really refutes anything, but guttersnipes whoever criticizes him, and adds a few "heh, heh hehs" and "ho ho hos". And he always promises changes are coming real soon. He even did it Tuesday. I no longer know whether he's talking about the station or some government coup. Maybe that's why he wears a crown.

After listening to him snark bloggers for about a half hour, I called in and read a definition on the air. That shut him up for the day, but he'll be back at it again tomorrow, whining about White and Carpenter for days.

Oh, did I mention Paul Carpenter? He's that other Morning Call columnist, and wrote about Timmer, too. Now Carpenter despises Angle nearly as much as Jolly Joe Long, and was kind to the King of Polka. He even likes polkas. But (not so) Jolly Joe is upset with Carpenter, too. Go figure.

Timmer reminds me of Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob Squarepants. He'd dive down a toilet if a dime fell in the bowl. He hawks shirts and watches from his station. His employees make minimum wage. His radio web page offers to make you a "radio star" with a 55 minute program for just $150. His latest Arbitron ratings? In the basement. And now his main draw is gone. He drummed Angle out, and is still complaining about the situation weeks after he kicked him off the air.

Does this make any sense at all?

It does if you're Bill White Hall of Fame material. Completely illogical reactions. Monumental ego. Trashing listeners and sponsors on the air. He's a cinch.

Update: I've just been informed that I've been nominated to White's illustious Hall of Fame myself. I want to thank Corp-guy, who offers these reasons: "Bernie O'Hare, who uses his blog to target people he hates and through logic only a dis-barred attorney could use try to destroy them. I know you think he is an asset but he is a bitter little man who picks and chooses the so called evil he goes after. Innocent people have been hurt by his cruelty." He's on to me. I graduated from dis-barred attorney logic school.

44 comments:

bill white said...

I'm cackling maniacally.

Chris Casey said...

You could always nominate me, or why not ask someone to nominate yourself? I'm sure we all have qualities that could get us inducted. I won't nominate anyone.
Who was it that said, "i don't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member"? Groucho Marx?

Bernie O'Hare said...

I've been toying with the idea of nominating the Lehigh Valley blogosphere. Collectively, we blow everyone out of the water. The only problem is that White himself is a member of the blogosphere so he'd be voting for himself.

overplay said...

Bernie,
This is the most distastful discussion/blog you have written to date.Your dislike for Timmer Broadcasting is disrespectful,hateful and and envious. As another blog wrote in Bill White's May 28th,2007 blog "its time to nominate new luminaries" said,What do you expect from a disbarred lawyer. You must be a very sad man to try and get revenge for your pal Ron Angles firing.Your a hanger-on to a situation that you are compelled to put your nose into where It does not belong. Are you trying to attract people to your small town gossip column. Also to get ignorant people to follow your comments and actually agree with this nonsense. You are a nuisance among our society with no solicitous to anyone you have hatered for,why should we be suprised. Only people who know your background can really judge you,but your cunning to hide all aspects of your life makes you Bernie,the judge and jury to berate and destroy . Your Timmer description is derogatory and tastless, I consider the source. And I hope Bill White is cackling maniacally when the morning call is sold and he's out of a job.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Holy shit! I just checked the comments to Bill White's 5/28/07 column, and I've been nominated by some dude named Corp-guy. I wonder what that name's all about! I'm going to start working on my acceptance speech immediately. I couldn't do it without folks like Jolly Joe Long, (not so) Jolly Joe Timmer, Lamont McMud McClure, the judges of Northampton County Council, etc., etc. ...

I think I owe Corp-guy and Overplay money. Hey, stand in line with everyone else! Or maybe I can give you a Sam Bennett IOU??

LehighValleyHousewife said...

I don't know what's funnier - Bernie's description of Jolly Joe and his eremitic surroundings (just why does the Polka King have Kotex lying around?), or the anonymous, yet predictable comments.

Thanks for the cackles!

river said...

Hi Bernie. Loaf of bread..$1.29, WGPA wristwatch...$9.95, the real MR. Crab picture...PRICELESS !!!!!!

river said...

Funny someone mentioned Kotex. Some months ago (ns) Jolly Joe told a horrid off color joke over the airwaves about Tampons during his 11am to 1 pm polka show. It just happened that I was eating my lunch at the time and I lost my hunger at once. I emailed the Polka King Crab to tell tell him that I thought that that joke should be only be told in a bar room and was not appropriate for on the air broadcasting. timmer came on his airwaves the next morning and had fun bashing me as he not only crabed about my full name over the air but also read my email address over the air hoping his fans would bash me with hate emails. I believe this was all a result of me being on the 8am till 10am caller ID "HitList". Just ask Joe what he thinks of the Ron Angle Show callers before you want to critisize me. Thanks River.

RadCenter said...

Bernie, I was in the WGPA studio years ago as a one-time guest on Larry Kisslinger's show, and I can vouch for the overall dumpiness of the place. And as for Timmer, he creeped me out completely, as does his TV show.

PA progressive said...

If no on eis threatening to sue you, you aren't pushing the envelope and you aren't doing your job as a blogger. If one is actually rooting out corruption and conflicts of interest why cover the local scene?

I can top you though, I was threatened by no less than Richard Sprague.

Anonymous said...

radcenter,
May i suggest seeing a Doctor from the flashbacks of the LSD you and Larry did when you were younger.

RadCenter said...

Anonymous said...
radcenter,
May i suggest seeing a Doctor from the flashbacks of the LSD you and Larry did when you were younger.

5:19 PM

Anonymous, stop! You're killing me with your wicked polka humor!

R Fault-fellow-fluff said...

HOF:

1. Paul ("I will personally murder anyone who says.........") Carpenter

2. Jolly Joe Skimmer

3. Bobby ("Brinson and I are God")
Gunther Yucckk

There's your Trinity.

J. Spike said...

This polka nazi is overdue for a few good Stern show crank calls.

Maybe Phil Laycheo can call him. lol

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 5:19!

I allow people to post here anonymously. Some of us have jobs that make it difficult or unwise to express political views without a shield of anonymity.

The privilege of anonymity does not exist for you to launch personal attacks against those who comment on this site. If you want to attack me, that's fine. If you want to talk about issues, better yet. But launching a personal attack against Larry Kisslinger is just cowardly. He has nothing to do with the body of my post and is not among those commenting.

You should be ashamed of yourself, and certainly did not help Timmer's cause.

Larry Kisslinger said...

Anonymous said...radcenter, May i suggest seeing a Doctor from the flashbacks of the LSD you and Larry did when you were younger.
5:19 PM....

Anonymous asshole: LSD??? why are you attacking me and hiding behind an anonymous cloak? I said and did nothing on this post til now and you try to degrade me with secret chicken shit nonsense! I have never suggested that I was/am a perfect human being! Why attack me in this blog? Announce who you are and provide some evidence when you type chicken shit here in anonymity! www.kisslinger.com

Anonymous said...

Bernie,
Corp-guy seemed to have you sorted out pretty well, except he left out the sexual fetish stuff. Bill White look no furthur-Buxum Bernie is your pick.

R fault-fellow-flush said...

Bernie:

Remember who said the "anons are shtinking up this blog"?

Anonymous said...

Bernie!

1) Congratulations for being nominated to Bill White's Hall of Fame! Remember, it's just like the Oscars . . .

You are "humbled to even be considered for such an honor." You feel "so blessed to have your name mentioned in the same sentence with other more distinguished nominees that you've always admired and looked up to." And, of course, you "want to thank all the little people who believed in you, supported you, and told you to follow your dream."

2) Do NOT forget to publicly thank your inflatable girlfriend for . . . well, for whatever it is she sees in you!

3) Thank you for defending the personal integrity of my good friend, mentor, and spiritual advisor -- Larry Kisslinger.

He has a heart bigger than the Lehigh Valley and is someone I admire and respect, and always will. He's fought the good fight for the underdog and for what's right for so long and accomplished far more than I could ever hope to against far greater odds. That takes guts and courage and a helluva lot of hard, hard work.

4) I could be wrong (not the 1st time), but I believe that your blog gets A LOT MORE TRAFFIC and posts than White's blog does.

I'm proud of you, I'm honored to know you, and even if "the fix is in" and White gives the Hall of Fame Award to someone less deserving (because of corporate pressure, your criminal record, your illegitimate inflatable baby, and your well known connections to that Thailand human-trafficking ring), you will ALWAYS be a Hall of Famer to me!!!

Semper Gonzo!
Bernie Takes NO Prisoners

Anonymous said...

You deserve to be in the Hall of fame. You are a class act wack job. Rumor has it Stoffa nominated you (no gratitude). Problem is as big an Ass as you are, Walsh and Brinson are even bigger Asses. Frankly I'd like to see the editorial boards of both papers put in there. Lord knows they have done their part to turn off people to print media. Next to you guys Jolly is a piker.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 4:28, Thanks for calling me a class act. I'm blushing.

Bernie O'Hare said...

BTNP,

I love the speech. And I'll buy my inflatable girlfriuend a new gown.

LVDem said...

I'll nominate you for something Bernie... How's dog catcher? Can you handle that?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Too much responsibility, dude.

LVDem said...

pooper scooper? Come on man, you deserve some kind of recognition for your work.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I'd like to be a meter maid, and get a nice tight skirt.

LVDem said...

I don't remember Nazareth having meters, but if you insist. I'll even give you a feather duster and high heeled boots to help with your job.

Anonymous said...

Bernie,

You are doing a great job, when those who manipulate the system for personal gain get angry, you are pushing the right button. Keep up the good work, they threaten me with law suits too.

Badapple EU

Bernie O'Hare said...

Thanks, EU. That means a lot coming from you.

river said...

Bernie!! You are a radio star and you didn't have to pay the $$$155 either. As of 11:30am today you received at least 10 full minutes of free air time. Now Ken Matthews wont feel so bad since he just gave 480 free minutes of his time to WGPA. Oh yeah... He is still auditioning next week -$-$-$. I wonder if he is ever going to be paid for his services.

Anonymous said...

I saw Ken sitting with JJ Timmer on the RCN program last night, and it was such an act. As they broke to commercial, Ken looked like he wanted to crawl under a table.

Anonymous said...

the timmer polka show on WGPA on 6/10/07 was another "milestone in weird broadcasting"!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This should be called the war of the ego's "Angle vs Timmer". This was a marriage made in Hell and doomed from day one. The Jolly Joe moniker is no more ridiculous than the Angle man of the people tag. These are two guys who never met a mirror or a dollar they didn't love. Their are a lot of polka folks out there that love Joe and listen and watch religiously, he loves the attention they love the music. Let them be. Angle loves and gets attention from some folks who feel he does this all because he cares, if you believe that fine. Joe owns a raio station and can rant and rave if he wants. Just as in the case of Elmer Gates, Angle met someone who was his match, he doesn't like that. The biggest phoney is the Bruce Davis cat who wouldn't let Angle wash his car but pretends to be great buddies to keep a repub. bashing show on the air. This is an instence where the blog world and polka world need to call a truce. If White puts Joe in his Hall of Fame over this he really is the blogospheres asskisser.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 2:09,

I'm sorry I missed Jolly Joe's show, but was playin' ball with my grandson.

In Timmer's defense, I will admit he was provoked. Angle and I ran into him on Friday afternoon at the corner of Broad & New. I am something of a ball buster, but Angle is world class.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 4:25!

You're certainly part of the blogosphere. If Timmer is not included, can't I say Bill White is kissing your butt? That argument is a non sequitor.

Although I nominated Timmer myself, I believe there's a dark horse riding in this race. He'll come out of nowhere and smoke everyone.

Thanks for your remarks

Anonymous said...

ya'all must have stones as big baseballs,because your wallets might be lighter if you play with the polka meiester,treading in deep water,If I were you I would fa -get -about-it.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Bernie, as part of the blogsphere I freely admit and acknowledge Bill White kisses my butt. That wasn't my point.
However, I hope the dark horse is that Brinson cat he is one strange dude. I also think BSAD Dr. 'what school district' Lewis is very deserving. I know Bill White enjoys kissing my ass, the air in Easton is rancid. Now that is 'non sequitor'. May your doll stay healthy and inflated.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 11:23,

"Ho! Ho! Ho! My name is Jolly Joe. Ho! Ho! Ho! Your blood is going to flow."

Dude, I don't run from people, even (Not so) Jolly Joe.

Anonymous said...

Don't eat any onion rings........

Bernie O'Hare said...

Here's a complimentary cup of water.

river said...

onion rings?? what is that all about??

Anonymous said...

I see we don't have home box,it's about the ending of the final Soprano's

river said...

Oh ok I didn't see the Soprano's. Was the ending as bad as some people said? I remember the final episode of Seinfeld, which the network pumped up as big as the Hindenberg and it turned out like a chub of liverworst.

radical moderate said...

I know that this is more than a year old but Im on here to voice my displeasure with some of you who have insulted the Polka King of the Lehigh Valley! This man is a legend!