|Mat Benol and the Decalogue|
This is the second time that a Ten Commandments plaque has vanished from NorCo Council chambers.
When he was on Council, Ron Angle had hammered a plaque onto the wall behind his seat in 2002. That way he could check them off as he broke them.
When he left office at the end of 2011, the plaque stayed, with most of the Commandments checked off several times. This was Ron's parting gift. But not for long. Council Clerk Frank Flisser noticed it was missing just before Easter. Despite a $500 reward offered by Angle, it was never recovered.
Then Executive John Stoffa suggested that Moses must have them.
Angle's plaque lasted ten years. Benol's was gone in a month.
After the meeting, Benol indicated he will simply get another. He denied any interest in reporting a theft. "I won't waste the Sheriff's time," he meekly explained.
Maybe he should get the Beatitudes.
Director of Administration Luis Campos will investigate whether any security cameras reveal the culprit.
Ken Kraft denied he had anything to do with it. "Hey, I've been gone the past two weeks," he explained, as his nose grew an inch.
I confronted Glenn Geissinger about them because he is, after all, a Mormon. I heard all about them when Obama was running for president.
"Neither I nor my 50 wives had a thing to do with it," he answered.
Executive John Brown denied responsibility, too. "I've been too busy interactively conceptualizing cost-effective catalysts for change," he explained.
Who could it be?
Well, there's one bastard who refuses to participate in the prayers before meetings, and often makes faces at Council members during these quaint rituals in which everyone pretends he's holy. .
Objectively speaking, I'd have to say I'm suspect #1.
The only thing I've got going for me is ... come to think of it, nothing. But every time I touch a religious object, I get electrocuted.
So this is a mystery.