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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, April 23, 2020

DEP To Spray Against Black Flies Today

One of the few things we're still allowed to do is fish. I was looking forward to opening day until Governor Tom Wolf decided to open it early, with no advance notice except to a special few who are in the loop. Well, if you decided to fish today, better stay away from the Delaware. DEP's black helicopters will be crawling up and down the Delaware River, not to check creel limits, but to spray pesticides aimed at one of the most evil creatures known to mankind - the Simulium, aka black fly, aka biting gnat.

You can call me prejudiced all you want, but I hate black flies. The women in particular. They're the ones who bite. So far as I know, they don't kill you. They just make you wish you were dead. 

What the DEP will do is sparay a chemical called Vectobac 12AS. It looks like chocolate milk, but don't drink it. It smells like fish sauce and is loaded with bacteria that kills the gnat before it turns into a bad ass.

All very natural.

I do miss the summer days on the Jersey shore, when the mosquito trucks came out and sprayed white clouds of DEET. We used to run through them as our elders watched and laughed, knowing the government would never try to kill us.

At least not on purpose. 

Now you know what happened to me.

5 comments:

Jondar said...

Growing up in NJ, I remember those mosquito trucks well. Classmates have recently joked that we should bring those trucks out of retirement, load them up with Lysol and let them have at it.

Anonymous said...

I do miss the summer days on the Jersey shore, when the mosquito trucks came out and sprayed white clouds of DEET. We used to run through them as our elders watched and laughed, knowing the government would never try to kill us.

god i remember this.

the idiots who run government are the same as idiots everywhere. they're really just guessing

Anonymous said...

That's pure RACIST!

Anonymous said...

You weren't running through white clouds of DEET. You were running through white clouds of DDT. Big difference.

Anonymous said...

They should have been spraying DDT on the nationally televised face landing strips. All flies like to Wade in shit for there desiese spreading nature to human waste.