Poor Spunky

Growing up, I looked forward every week to Art Linkletter's "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Now, I'm amazed by what the oldest geezers among us say when they draw up their Wills, which I have to read when searching titles. So from time to time, I'm going to share some of these final wishes with you.

My first entry involves the Will of a Bethlehem Township woman, who died last Summer. I'll keep her name out of it, but reading her Will reminded me of an ancient Pharoah, who would have a gazillion people killed on his death so they could join him in the afterlife. Fortunately, this woman was a widow when she drew her Will, so her husband was already in the beyond. But not poor Spunky.

This is what her Will provides.

"I direct that should my dog, Spunky, survive me, I wish Spunky to be euthanized, cremated and Spunky's ashes be placed in my coffin, if permitted by law. The maximum expense for this provision is $500 and must be done within five (5) days following my death."

Ruh roh.

Now if poor Spunky was on his last legs himself, maybe she was doing him a favor. But what if he was spunky?

Amazingly, a few lines below, she makes this provision, too.

"I give and bequeath the sum of $500 to the SPCA [Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals], of Northampton County, Easton, Pennsylvania."

I had to know what happened, so I called her estate's attorney. I better keep his name out of this, too. He tells me that he never had the ethical dilemma of deciding whether he should off her dog. Poor Spunky bit the dust soon after she drew her Will.

Maybe she read it to him.

Next week, I'll share the parting thoughts of an Allentown used car dealer.