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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

How to Beat a Parking Ticket in Nazareth

Want to know how to beat a parking ticket in Nazareth? Easy. First, get 2,000,000,000,000,000,000 parking tickets and pay them off, as I have done. Then plead not guilty to the 2,000,000,000,000,000,001th parking ticket. Judge John Capobianco found me not guilty yesterday, not because I deserved it, but because I'm a high volume customer. After pleading guilty so many times, he reasoned, I must be innocent at least once.

Basically, he gave me a discount.

"But Judge, now I have nothing to write about," I complained. "Can't you at least have me chained and perp walked?"

"Get out of here."

"How about handcuffs?"

"Get lost."

I have vowed to appeal.


Anonymous said...

Aren't you the sly one. You must have bribed the Judge with some of Tracta's cupcakes.

Anonymous said...

Why not just feed the meter or do you park in front of fire hydrants and in handicap spots like a weasel?

Bernie O'Hare said...

No. I never park in front of a hydrant or in handicapped spots. The ticket i fought was bc I was parked outside the line, but i was unable to see the line bc of snow and salt on the road.

Anonymous said...

You implied that you get a lot of parking tickets.

That's ridiculous to get a ticket when the lines are covered.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I do get lots of tickets, usually for OT PARKING.