Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tales of Trachta: Shit Happens
Trachta called Bushkill Township police, and they confirmed that it sure looked like shit to them.
"What do you want us to do?" they asked.
"I want you to investigate who dumped on my front porch!" Trachta demanded. He wanted them to remove the shit as evidence. "I want that shit analyzed!"
"See 'ya," said the Bushkill police, who then cleared the scene.
He's not the boss of them.
Trachta decided to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. He got a little plastic baggie, scooped up the shit, and took it with him to the Nazareth Police Department.
From there, he sent it to the Pennsylvania State Police, whose crime lab apparently includes a shit analysis division.
I'm fairly certain it's improper and possibly illegal for Trachta to use Nazareth police resources, which included a control number for the lab request, to investigate a crime in Bushkill Township. Thankfully, the PSP refused to conduct this shit analysis. They flushed the evidence, and told Trachta not to bother them with his shit unless it's a homicide.
This story, in a nutshell, tells you what kind of guy Trachta is. He appears to be vindictive and is perfectly willing to abuse official resources when it's in his own interest. Stay tuned for my next Tale of Trachta. This story involved poo poo. The next one will hone in on pee pee.