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Monday, December 17, 2007

Severson Scissorhands Manages to Piss Off God!

Not too long ago, I told you about Severson Scissorhands. This political consultant has earned over $10.35 million from candidates seeking state office over the last seven years. He may be the biggest campaign guru in the state. Without doubt, he's the sleaziest. From his lunchroom, he wants to "kill" and "stab" his political enemies. Severson himself states, "We all maybe at times through the course of our life feel we'd like to kill." This dude even builds switchblades and has admitted brandishing them in his office.

Maybe you think I was a bit harsh. If so, this little story will change your mind. Now Severson is playing dirty politics with the Big Kahuna, the Almighty One, and He's really pissed.

Severson Scissorhands went totally ballistic Friday night. Amazingly, it was in a church, during a funeral mass at Pen Argyl's Saint Elizabeth's Church for Gemma Turtzo. God reputedly lives there. Severson's wife was actually one of the frickin' readers. But Severson still managed to explode just ten minutes into the service.

Norco councilman Ron Angle, who was mentored in his younger years by Gemma's husband, also attended this mass. So did many other slate belt notables, including former councilperson Mary Ensslin. She actually sat next to Angle in the back of the church.

Not long after mass started, Severson spotted Angle from across the aisle. He went totally bonkers in the House of God. He actually stood up, and started shouting "Fuck you! - I'm going to kick your ass in the parking lot." He even offered that famous second finger salute.

After this had gone on for at least ten minutes, an eighty year old fellow named Eddie Mugavero turned around and asked Severson to knock it off. Severson plastered him with a few "fuck yous" as well. "If you don't like it, leave, you little midget."

As mass was ending, Angle rushed out a side door and ran to his truck as Ensslin slowed Severson down. Scissorhands soon spun around and bolted to the front of the church, screaming at a few people in the process. There are unconfirmed reports he may have even pulled his switchblade on someone in the lobby, but he was clearly after Angle. I don't think he even stopped to steal the collection money. But by the time he made it to the parking lot, Ron was safely in his big-ass truck, waving goodbye. Severson continued to scream at him and everyone else in the parking lot.

Angle intends to report this today to Pen Argyl's police chief. But Severson has previously said his relationship with DA John Morganelli gives him some sort of immunity. "I'll never be prosecuted in Northampton County."

For Scissorhands, a criminal prosecution is the least of his worries.

Last I heard, Serverson's Pen Argyl mansion is overrun by cold-weather locusts and frogs, and he's covered with boils, lice and flies. All his switchblades have been transformed into tiny plastic paper clips. Every time he tries to leave his house, lightning bolts singe his ass.

I tried calling God for an interview, but Sunday is His busy day. All He would say is, "That idiot must think he's Me. You know, those weren't the Ten Suggestions."

29 comments:

A.J. Cordi said...

What do you mean this guy has anger problems?

Demothug said...

Bernie,

It's becoming increasingly clear to me that Severson is beginning to feel the pressure of his "world" collapsing around him.

This is more than a case of anger management - we're talking psychotic behavior here.

Please be careful - if Severson can explode so inappropriately in public - imagine what might happen in private.

And to the rest of you politicos who think using Severson is a good idea? Consider him tarnished - consider him to be the kiss of death. If Morganelli doesn't wise up and do the right thing, let's hope Tom Corbett has the gonads he claims to have.

ANd if I were an elected official who has used or is using Severson's services, this would be a very good time to disassociate - publicly - from this whack job.

One more thing. Ron Angle is one of the sharpest guys I have ever met. If there's a secret to be found, he can (and HAS) drag it into the light. It is no surprise to me that Severson has a personal nut for Ron.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Funny thing. Ron told me Saturday that he had no idea it was Severson who was doing this. He's never even met the guy. Ensslin had to tell him.

Larry Kisslinger said...

Bernie.

Is this post a joke on readers?

On the other hand, since I know secret handshake cash sleeze severson, I'm reasonably certain is probably a true account of severson worship services that coincide with his political consultant services. larry@kisslinger.com

Bernie O'Hare said...

Larry, Except for the God interview and the locusts, it's true.

Larry Kisslinger said...

severson needs to get help and rest sooner rather than later! somebody needs to advise him that he can't take "his god", money, with him. larry@kisslinger.com

not so casual observer said...

It is a true incident and it is sn escalation of several other public incidents that have occurred in the recent past.

Thanks to Bernie for letting the Lehigh Valley know the truth about this creep

Anonymous said...

The accused's action and quotes, paints an image of corruption within DA John Morganelli's office. If a person can publicly get away with acts like this, imagine what one can do quietly. No offense Bernie, wishful thinking wants me to believe this is fictitious.

O_o

Bernie O'Hare said...

O_o,

Without question, we have disorderly conduct at the very least. There's an obvious intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance and alarm. If the report concerning the switchblade are true, we also have terroristic threats.

Because Severson's past history has shown him to be erratic, he should probably be charged. I doubt seriously that Morganelli would interfere in any way.

Those decisions, in the first instance, are made by the police. In fact, they are also the prosecutors unless they request a DA.

Anonymous said...

This was a memorial service. It was not about any of the people involved in the exchange of words, and the fact that Severson did that is not only shameful, but well I don't know that their is a word for it.

i'mwithtom said...

Shows wat a wus angle is. he ran home to his mommy. he would sue u anyway cause he only starts fights and can't defend himself so he uses the run & sue method of resolving issues.

Anonymous said...

I would like to have someone other than Ron Angle and his good friend Mary Enselin go on the record and confirm this. Not pro-Severson, just suspicious of the sources mentioned.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 7:39,

This story has been confirmed by people other than Angle or Ensslin. In fact, when Angle made it to the Pen Argyl PD today, he was told that at least one other person had already filed a complaint.

Bernie O'Hare said...

i'mwithtom,

yeah, I'm sure that's how everyone else sees it, too. You want Angle to "man up" and expose himself to a guy with a switchblade while you're such a slug you don't ID yourself.

Anonymous said...

Bernie,
Are you sure it wasn't Mike Deshler wearing a mask?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Now be nice! I've known Mike Deschler many years and have insulted him many times. He never once pulled a knife on me or stepped on my feet.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubt these events happened. An observer told me the story and your re-telling follows the version I heard.

This morning, I began to associate a new name with these events and the preceding posts about Scissorhands. Randal Flagg. You may remember him from Stephen King’s “The Stand”. Flagg collected his followers by promising them great things in return for their complete loyalty. Flagg had many of the protagonists dispatched by these devotees. As time passed, Flagg’s arrogance increased and with that so did his mistakes. He began to get careless. Cracks began to develop in his control of events. These unforeseen changes in his grand plan were produced by stresses from the good folks who had come to realize the danger he posed.

Finally, the hand of God formed from electric energy Flagg sent from his finger tips. The hand crackled and ignited a bomb brought to Las Vegas by the Trashcan Man. Las Vegas and all of Flagg’s followers were wiped clean in a flash of light.

Where are we in our Lehigh Valley version? Have the good folks finally banded together to bring an end to the schemes, campaign money laundering, and just plain old evil stuff? Or will our Flagg regain his strength and continue with his past practices?

Bernie O'Hare said...

That's a scary analogy. The Stand is King's scariest book. I always considered Flagg, the Walking Dude, the Dark Man, some version of the antiChrist.

Anonymous said...

That is why, for so many years, he has been called "The Great Satan" by those folks who have seen the man behind the curtain.

Anonymous said...

Flagg is a good guy. Now Deegan and Owens, there you have anti-Christ material. HoHoHo!

Merry Christmas, DAMMIT!

Free Speech said...

BO: Did your info go to the AG and US attorney yet? I have been out of town and I missed the trogladyte fight...since Severson believes Morganelli will protect him the only way for him to be held accountable

...for bags of dough to PMI...is to have a state and federal investigation.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Free Speech, if you have questions about what i am or am not doing or what is being sent where, the time has come to take it back channel. My email is BOHare5948@aol.com

Free Speech said...

I will take that to mean you have been threatened by the thugocracy.

Besides if we backchanneled u maybe frightened by me!

Well, keep the pressure on I hope...

Btw, i think u have been defending the 1st Ammendment but I have a lot of blogging to catch up on!

Bernie O'Hare said...

Free Speech,

I have not been threatened by anyone except bill collectors. There is a great deal of info out therem, and it will be placed in the right hands, but I'm not going to be talking about it.

Free Speech said...

Good to know. Hope the low lifes do not get you down...

Anonymous said...

Bernie, is it possible Ron is leading you down another path ?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 10:19,

That is a possibility with anyone, and that's why the story was corroborated. I was not personally present, but heard about it from several folks who were there. I believe you'll be reading about this in another venue tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Bernie, have you been able to confirm the "unconfirmed" reports that Severson "pulled a switchblade" ?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 9:23,

The three people I spoke to who werew physically present tell me they heard about the incident, but don't know the person against whom the knife was supposedly pulled. Since two police officers are investigating this and are the pros, they will be able to nail down whether this, in fact, happened, or is just an idle rumor.