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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Tommy "Scissorhands" Severson!

Political consultant Tom Severson has some sort of knife fetish. Is he compensating for a shortcoming elsewhere or is it part of his Vietnam experience? He still tells scary jungle stories when trying to reel in a candidate. "The Cong couldn't kill me and now no one can touch me."

I thought we lost that one.

Well, whatever his reason, he's so fanatic he actually builds what one former cop describes as a "mechanically operated switchblade-type knife with approximately a four-inch blade and an ornamental handle." It also has its own special name in Pennsylvania.

Prohibited offensive weapon.

He always keeps one in the center drawer of his desk, just in case. His secretary keeps one in the center drawer of her desk, too. It must work. "No one tries to get in when I'm by myself there late at night."

If his office staff is to be believed, they prance around in the office, pull out their switch-blades, and pretend they're in West Side Story. I kid you not.

And as far as killing enemies is concerned, Tommy Scissorhands cleared up everything in that strange unemployment case. It's just a "generic off the cuff comment that people make every day." Sure, I hear it all the time. Usually right after I'm done making 1,000 anonymous calls.

I was just thinking about slicing and dicing Chris Casey, but I think I'm going to need a bigger knife.

As Tommy explains philosophically,"We all maybe at times through the course of our life feel we'd like to kill." Besides, as he carefully points out, he never mentioned anyone in particular.

Severson, according to his own testimony, has the largest political consulting firm in Pennsylvania. Precision Marketing, which is just one of at least three corporations he is using, has collected $9.9 million from candidates seeking state office since 2000.

Two words. In. Sane.

I wonder if he'd like a knife sharpener for Christmas.


MAD AS BATS said...

The "cong" couldn't kill him? Great, another of these Medal of Honor wannabees. Most people who serve in the military are like me, guys and gals who did a job, and when their enlistment was over, got on with their lives. Severson seems to have personal ego issues that cause him to embellish his self image a bit. Perhaps the knife blades are an "extension" of a certain anatomical part that he deems "Lacking?" I'm actually feeling pity for him. Dear Maddy's waiting on a letter asking for help

A.J. Cordi said...

"Besides, as he carefully points out, he never mentioned anyone in particular."

Didn't he threaten to stab the claimant in the back? LoL!

Bernie O'Hare said...


Looks like you got him! But you were using facts. That's cheating.


I've never served a day in combat, although I do write about NC politics. But I was a soldier and know quite a few. My experience has always been that the guys who were in real nasty stuff only rarely talk about it. My dad was a POW, shot and had health problems because of his service during WWII. I can only think of one time he talked to me about eating potato skin soup or something, and it was only for a few seconds before he quickly changed the subject.