U Mt Bethel Tired of Angle's Shit

Ron Angle is back in full form

All they needed was a rope. Nearly 300 people braved the icy roads to invade the Mount Bethel Volunteer Fire Company on Monday night, with one and only one thing on their minds - Ron Angle. They're tired of his shit. Mad enough to sue. They browbeat  Upper Mount Bethel Township Supervisors into voting unanimously to seek a restraining order against Angle's plan to spread sludge on some of his farmlands. Their Solicitor and one Supervisor argued it was a waste of taxpayer money, especially since they've already lost a case in the state Supreme Court on this very issue. But the crowd was having none of that. "Show some balls!" shouted someone in the audience.

Though state law allows Angle to spread shit on his farmlands, it's not playing well with people living nearby. They probably know what shit is like. They worry about the biohazards. Sue DeGenero, who organized most of the opposition, said that shit smells really bad. In fact, she went on a shit smelling field trip to Lower Mount Bethel Township, and it took two days to get the shit smell out of her car. Either that, or it was that burrito she had for lunch earlier in the week. DeGenero also told Supervisors that shit will reduce the value of their homes. She complained that her Township is "being turned into a hazardous waste dump site."

DeGenero then called on some dude who works for the John Hanger for Governor campaign. When she asked for Hanger, she probably thought some guy would come with a hood to help lynch Angle. Instead, it was a politico who got up and basically said nothing.

They strung him up.

This is one helluva' turnout

After this came Shawna Flyte, who actually has already taken her six children and moved out of the Township to Bangor. She previously told Channel 69 that her "mama bear claws" were out, and said shit is really dangerous and she's learned that by researching the matter on the Internet until 3 and 4 am. "One person should not have this much power over everybody," she insisted. "I don't care who you are or how much money you have because I love Mount Bethel."

Tony Scott proposed a solution. He suggested that, instead of using the Township open space money to buy swamp land, they should use it to buy fertilizer for farmers who promise to stay away from shit. "Instead of preserving water and soil for the salamander, preserve water and soil for the people," he argued.

Chairman Judy Henckel told Scott that is impossible.

Supervisors listen to complaints about sludge

All of this talking about shit got me going, and I decided to use the facilities. Unfortunately, though, the toilet was clogged up with human waste. I could swear I heard it talking, and left.

Then I got really scared because Don Miles was next. He's with the Sierra Club, and warned everyone about the dangers of shit. In fact, we should probably stop wiping our asses or we'll all die.

Miles mentioned that, though the EPA and DEP does check shit for some toxins, it does not test for others. It could even be radioactive, for all he knows.

He must have seen some of my work.

But you will be pleased to know there's no shit in Heinz ketchup. Miles reported they won't buy from farms that use shit. They only use the finest quality illegal alien to make their ketchup, a special breed that does not even shit.

Then Angle himself, the Evil One, got up to speak. "Hysteria's a wonderful thing," he started, but the catcalls and shouts were too much. He put on the cowboy hat that Abe Atiyeh gave him and left.

Don Miles warns about radioactive shit

At this point, Rick Fisher addressed the audience, telling them that Synagro shit spreaders do follow state regulations, and their biosolids are tested. He explained it's a matter of risk management. Human sewage dumped into the sea or burned creates health concerns. Concentrating it into a landfill causes problems, too. He said that, as a matter of risk management, a farmer's field "is the best place to put it that has the least impact on people."

Then Fisher was lynched.

While they were stringing him up, I went to the bathroom again, and the plugged up shit was all gone. Angle apparently took it and was spreading it on one of his fields.

When I got back to the meeting, Supervisor Jerry Geake was having a Dutch uncle talk with the mob.

"I sat on this board when we took this case to the Supreme Court and lost. We lost every inch of the way. You want me to just spend your money?"

"We're worth it," was the mob's answer.

Solicitor Ron Karasek agreed with Geake, noting he heard no legal basis for a temporary restraining order.

Rick Fisher gives unbiased view before being lynched

"You gotta' buck the system," shouted the mob, before also asking Supervisors to free Barabbas.

So Supervisors bent to the will of the mob and voted unanimously to seek a Temporary Restraining Order against Angle, knowing they have no basis.

Pleased with themselves, the crowd started leaving. But after they filed out, Angle returned.

"You were ruled by a hysterical crowd, not by good judgment and a learned solicitor," he told them.

"We're all gonna' die and our hair will fall out and our toenails will curl up," Angle scoffed of the complaints concerning biosolids. He told Supervisor he really has no opinion on the topic, and was there to discuss options until the crowd became insulting.

"He demanded to know the grounds for the TRO. "What are you injuncting me from?" he asked.

"I have no idea," answered Geake.

"I'm not here to screw up the land," Angle observed. "I've got a lot of money tied up in it." He added he makes no money from the biosolids, and just gives his tenant farmers the option of using sludge if that is their choice.

He said Supervisors need to do something to help the farmers. He noted the township used to be full of dairy farms, and now it is down to about two of them. He added that corn prices dropped in half in just one year.

"We're screwing the farmers." he added.

He said the Township should consider using some of the money it collects to buy swamp land to help the farmers. Instead, "you're spending the taxpayers' money to appease a hysterical crowd on law that's clear.

Solicitor Ron Karasek agreed that he would not file an action for injunctive relief until January 15, and during that time, Angle agreed he would spread no sludge.

Blogger's Note: I am teasing this crowd, but want to compliment them for showing an interest. You won't see a crowd like that anywhere but in Upper Mount Bethel. They have no TV reception.