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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, December 05, 2013

I Am Seeing Coroner Way Too Often

Ever since he made me hurl with the graphic descriptions of what he does at a Council meeting, I've been bumping into Northampton County Coroner Zach Lysek just about everywhere. He always asks, "Are you all right?" Last week, he started measuring me. This is beginning to scare the shit out of me.

He had a budgetary request last night that sounded a lot more complicated than it is. He just wants one additional deputy coroner and a secretary, but translating it into bureaucratese made it sound like he was seeking a staff of 50.

"Was there some event that happened in this County that we need to be aware of?" asked President john Cusick.

Then Lamont McClure started asking all kinds of questions, like how many people die every day (10), how many are suicides, etc.. Then for some reason, they started talking about blood splatters and how rough people look when they die and start decomposing.

"It doesn't matter how good looking a person is, we all stink," noted Lysek.

Nice to know. Thank you very much. If Lysek talks for more than three minutes tonight, I'm in trouble. So is everyone within a 3' radius of me.


Anonymous said...

Speaking of wonderment over whether there was some event around here that we need to be aware of, did anybody notice the article at the bottom of page 13, in last Sunday's Morning Call, the one listing municipal grants from the Northdampton County Gaming Authority? Apparenty, Bethlehem is using part of its grant to purchase a "mass-arrest transit vehicle." The rest of its grant is to purchase a vehicle for hauling hazardous wastes. Lets keep in mind that qualifying categories include public infrastructure improvements, public facilities, and human services.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully county council does not build his multi-million $$$ ego morgue. If they do, fire the Corner and get a full fledged medical examiner. See how quick old Zackee backs down then.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we don't need no stinking Egors!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:14...You would be eating your words if you saw the "morgue" that our C-O-R-O-N-E-R, Mr Lysek is currently calling home base. I don't think after hearing Mr Lysek speak, that this is anything close to an ego trip-this is a needed service. At this time Northampton County actually has no facilities of their own to perform needed medical/autopsy procedures and relies on other facilities. And to refer to Mr Lysek in anything but a respectful manner is a disgrace. He is a good, kind man, who performs a very sad/thankless/sometimes horrifying job with grace and dignity for everyone around him,victims,families,the departed and the many people he works with on a daily basis.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Zach Lysek is one of the least ego-driven people I've ever met. I just hope he stops measuring me.

Anonymous said...

It is rather unfortunate that Bethlehem would go after Northampton County gaming money. After receiving $30m you think they would other municipalities to benefit gaming.