Monday, November 25, 2013
The Bob Donchez Dream Team
DCED Director. - Although Alicia Karner (Northampton County DCED) reportedly has the inside track, the job has actually been offered to J..B. "the NIZ kid" Reilly of Allentown NIZ fame. Instead of a salary, he gets a cut of whatever business he steals from surrounding municipalities.
Police Chief. - That will go to Jim Gregory. Sure, he's in the can now, but is a political prisoner who is building bonds with the Bloods and the Crips. What could possibly go wrong?
Fire Commissioner. - Jim Schlener. He will also be appointed as Lehigh Valley Drug Taskforce liaison. He's planning on a kegger every Friday at Payrow Plaza.
Director of Parks. - Charlie Chrin. Hey, it's industrial parks, baby!
Planning Director. - Abe Atiyeh. Intimately familiar with both planning and zoning in several LV municipalities, Atiyeh has finally abandoned the idea of drug and alcohol rehabs. Instead, there will be LED billboards up and down Main Street, Broad Street, New Street, oh what the hell, every street.
Solicitor. You may have heard this is going to Bill Leeson, but I received word they want me. Sure, I'm disbarred, but Gregory claims Bethlehem can make its own rules.
Animal Control Officer. - Ron Angle. Angle wants to have stray dogs reclassified as coyotes so everyone can shoot them and collect a bounty. "Problem solved," he says. "Anybody wanna' buy some shit?"