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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

My Spirit Animal

I'm taking a break from the usual politics on this blog. If there was any doubt in your mind about my sanity, I'm about to erase it completely with this question:  Do you have a spirit animal?

I do.

Honest! I'm by no means a spiritual or religious person, but there is an animal that really does look out for me. Is it the fierce falcon, who strikes at blinding speeds from above? The lone wolf, whose mere appearance strikes fear?

Nah.

I'm a goose.

Geese and I have lots in common. We're both slobs, bird brains, talk a lot, and weigh more than we should. We also both have among the worst-looking bowel movements in the Animal Kingdom. We both wear out our welcomes pretty quickly. When we finally get going, we're pretty slow. But we both can go forever.

None of these similarities is what makes me a goose. This is where you might want to call the happy wagon. .

I first realized it many years ago, while running in a 4-mile race. I had just passed some guy, but could feel and hear him behind me, hot on my tail, with a half-mile to go. And I was beginning to fade. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a gaggle of geese flew overhead, honking away. For some reason, I dug down and was able to beat this guy, even though he was really the better runner.

Ever since that day, geese often appear when I'm out on a run, especially when I begin to fade. Last week, for example, I was nearing the end of my first 9-mile run in may years, and was really getting tired. I was thinking of stopping and just walking the final half mile, when three geese appeared out of nowhere, and for the first time during my entire run. I forgot all about being tired.

It happens to me all the time.

Naturally, I'd prefer to be an Eagle or a Falcon. Sounds more impressive, although a goose is a step up from buzzard.  From what I've read, a spirit or power animal is kinda' like a guardian angel or patron saint, and is supposed to guide you when you're in trouble. So maybe my guardian angel is a frickin' goose.

Or not. Today I run 10 miles.

If you'd like to discover your spirit animal, take this quiz.

Updated 1 PM: Just finished running 10.2 miles in a blinding speed of 2 hours. The first mile is very difficult, straight uphill. I was considering calling it quits and trying again later, and there they were - my spirit animals. Fortunately, none of them shit on me.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha Wolverine

I'm not a Marine or a linebacker and while answering the questions I thought they would be viewed the other way.

I didn't see goose mentioned, they had a swan but no goose.

Anonymous said...

Okay I took it again and came up a crow.
My first attempt I was at odds with three answers. Actually they were opposite what I wrote the first time.

And BTW the crow is to be on the look out for Wolverines.

Good fun. Thanks

Anonymous said...

Les Grossman is my spirit guide.

RS said...

I think you missed one of the other characteristics that geese have at least based on what some people say about you on your blog.

I was biking to work a long time ago when a flock of geese passed overhead. I don't know how they did it, but they seemed to all release that wonderful poop at the same time. It felt like I was on the receiving end of a bombing run! Fortunately, I was not hit, but the sound of the crap (literally) hitting the pavement really worried me.

Keep flying, the high and mighty need it.

Anonymous said...

Blue Heron is mine...

Tony Simao said...

**Warning bad joke ahead**

What kind of geese don't fly?

Portuguese!

Anonymous said...

At least you're not an Otter.

Fondly,

The Hawk

Sanctifying Grace said...

Hawk is that really you??? Peace brother! Nice hearing from you.

Peace be with you, ~~~alex+

Bernie O'Hare said...

"they seemed to all release that wonderful poop at the same time. It felt like I was on the receiving end of a bombing run! Fortunately, I was not hit, but the sound of the crap (literally) hitting the pavement really worried me."

Great story!

Anonymous said...

Eisenschwein.

Crispus Attucks said...

Bo,

I see that Bethlehem Council once again failed to elect an interim controller. The animal spirit must be pussies.

Anonymous said...

Great Blue Heron. The quiz was impossible. Nearly all questions were "none of the above."

Bernie, maybe some souls need more protection than others...there are geese everywhere. I saw 200 in a field yesterday.

Anonymous said...

Saving endangered animals is simple. Declare them tasty. Just look at all the cows, chickens, pigs, and horses (McDonald's), etc. Wow, that just made me hungry.

Warm regards,
Another Hawk

Anonymous said...

My animal spirit guide is the great black dildo!

J. Stoffa

Monkey Momma said...

Well, it says I'm guided by the fox. But if there were monkeys taken into consideration, you can bet your bananas that would be my spirit guide. I could get used to being called a fox. Maybe I should change my avator to foxy momma?

Hey do you know why one side of the "v" formation made by flying geese is always longer than the other half???? (Answer: there's more geese in it.)

Bernie O'Hare said...

Hey, you should be guided by your spirit animal. Foxy Momma does have a nice ring to it.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"My animal spirit guide is the great black dildo!

J. Stoffa"


This is why I call the Fake Rev a Fake Rev, whi I call the Gracedale Goons the Gracedale Goons and why Tricia Mezzacrappa is the Wicked Witch of West Easton.

Anonymous said...

Bernie you are a Honey Badger. Go to utube and type in Honey Badger and you'll see why!!!!