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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Bethlehem City Council: Shiny Happy People

I rarely go to Bethlehem City Council meetings. For one thing, I'm usually the worst-dressed person in the room, unless someone like Bethlehem activist Peter Crownfield shows up. But the real reason I stay away is they're too damn nice. I just can't handle it.

Last night is a perfect example. After sitting there about twenty minutes, I could feel something that felt like a bug, crawling down my back, and inside my shirt. I was ready to rip my shirt off and run for the bathroom, but tried to be casual. I got up, tripped, and nearly slammed into the door. Then I stepped outside.

No sooner had I stepped into the hall, looking for some bathroom, than I was accosted by Tony Hanna, Bethlehem's DCED Director, and Jack Spirk, the City Solicitor.

"Are you leaving already, Bernie?" they smiled. "The best part is just about to start."

That's a really low blow. I can take scowls and snotty remarks, but never know how to respond when people are nice to me.

It's an excellent and well-prepared City Council, presided over by President Bob Donchez. Mayor John Callahan has enough respect for them to attend their meetings. In fact, most of his department heads were there, too. In addition to the suits, I counted 22 citizens who are very interested in their government, and almost every one of them has something to say.

They're nice, too.

The big issue last night was the goofy electronic billboard on the Hill to Hill bridge, which was called a "weapon of mass distraction." But they were all so damn nice about it. The only outburst came from diminutive Betty Mary Pongracz, who was very upset that the City scheduled a historic preservation task force meeting on Holy Thursday.

"How dare you plan that meeting on Holy Thursday! How dare you!"

She was praying for her immortal soul that day and had to skip the meeting. She was very upset, and everyone in the room looked embarrassed and hung their heads in shame. I thought some of them might start crying.

Then I farted.

When I got home I insulted a few people on my blog and then I felt better.


Anonymous said...

Mary Pongratz...not Betty.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it's Mary and her husband's name is Joseph and they adopted a little Puerto Rican boy from the South Side named Jesus. I love the idea of not doing business on Holy Thursday. Can I hook her up and talk to my boss about that for next year?

Bernie O'Hare said...

I corrected my error and thankk you for pointing it out.

Anonymous said...

"I rarely go to Bethlehem City Council meetings. For one thing, I'm usually the worst-dressed person in the room, unless someone like Bethlehem activist Peter Crownfield shows up."

Gosh Bernie, We would never say it but since you did...it's true.

Bernie O'Hare said...

That's because you're too damn nice. Don't feel too bad about scheduling that meeting on Holy Thursday.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mary.

I suspect this was anoversight on councils behalf. IMO this is as bad as holding it Christmas eve or on Good Friday.

These guys check with the Unions first to ensure there is no conflcit before scheduling a campaign event or they hear about it. Do you think these guys would schedule something the night of the Ed Obrien Dinner? Just trying to draw some comparisons.

Would they hold a meeting the evening of St Patricks day? Probably not. Who would want to interfere with a good party.

For a town who sells itself as the CHRISTMAS CITY, I think better judgement could have been used to hold a public meeting on such a holy night for a large percentage of the population.