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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Monday, March 23, 2020

Hokie Joe and Social Distancing

I was on the phone with Hokie Joe yesterday and could hear some banging in the background.

"What's that noise?"

"It's my wife. Health officials say we have to practice social distancing, so I locked her out."

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like an action plan to me.

Anonymous said...

Smartest move I've seen in a long time. That is even better than the couch.

Anonymous said...

I hope my wife does that to me then I can accuse her of spousal abuse, call the police then kick her the fuck out of the house for good!

Anonymous said...

It's always great to talk abou0t abusing wives, isn't it? Good times!

Anonymous said...

I am very sure it is the husband that is being abused because of his obligation to be sexually abused and overworked while that obligation is taking place. Why is it that only the wife is the one being abused when she is truly in fact the abused in all too many cases.

Anonymous said...

Check your meds, dear.

Anonymous said...

Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife.
Sadly, bigamy is against the law.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha. I guess you're the Entire Man Package then.

Anonymous said...

I've evacuated to an isolated section of my compound that contains bathroom facilities, tv, a beer fridge and my tools. I'm not sure if she's even home at this point. We've never been happier.

Anonymous said...

We'll see what happens when the beer runs out.

Anonymous said...

All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is that after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

Anonymous said...

You boys sure all sound like real catches.

Anonymous said...

So what do you say to your family members who are really scared right now? That's a nasty question... ASSHOLE!

Anonymous said...

I really don't see how that's going to comfort anyone. Of course, husbands do like scatological references.

Anonymous said...

Wives may be able to fake orgasms--but then, they have to, don't they?

Men, on the other hand, can fake entire relationships.

Wheeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

Wife: "Wanna change positions tonight?"

Husband: "You bet!"

Wife: "OK, so you do the dishes and floors while I watch TV."

Anonymous said...

I make women scream every time we have sex.

I wipe my ugly on their curtains.

Anonymous said...

Woman posts ad: "Husband wanted."

100 replies: "You can have mine."

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...


100 husbands: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I make women scream every time we have sex.

I wipe my ugly on their curtains.
March 23, 2020 at 12:02 PM


I'm sure they do scream. I'm also sure that they need a lot of curtains to get ride of your ugly.

Anonymous said...

Men: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Lol.

Anonymous said...

It's your dream thread, Bernie. No one's even mentioned you-know-what.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

100 husbands: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
March 23, 2020 at 12:38 PM


I hope you're having affairs with only five or six at a time.

Helene said...

Bernie, this is a really ugly thread to women. I hope you might consider cutting it off now.
Helene

LVCI said...

One of the guys forced to stay home said he met this woman the other day he hasn't seen in a while. She said, "I'm your wife." He said, "She seems like a nice person."

Anonymous said...

Son: "Mom, how much does it cost to marry?"

Mother: "I don't know, I'm stall paying."

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

So an employee at a postal facility in Bethlehem township tests positive for the corona virus yet the statement issued by them: “We believe the risk is low for employees who work at the Lehigh Valley P&DC but we will keep our employees apprised as new information and guidance becomes available,” - WTF, did that come from the white house? You know, just a hoax and all...

Anonymous said...

That's the worst joke I ever heard.

Women: "My husband's an angel."

Other woman: "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."

Wheeeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

I’m female, Helene, and didn’t find them to be offensive. The new norm seems to be taking offense first, laughter later.

Anonymous said...

You Helene are a ray of sunshine on a dreary day in the SWAMP!

Anonymous said...

Do you know a "Hokie" is a neutered turkey? How do you castrate a turkey?
Now I get it. Hokie Joe is a castrated turkey. At least he will be castrated if his wife reads this Blog.

Anonymous said...

Husband: "Why are you reading our marriage certificate?"

Wife: "I'm looking for an expiration date."

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Do you know a "Hokie" is a neutered turkey? How do you castrate a turkey?
Now I get it. Hokie Joe is a castrated turkey. At least he will be castrated if his wife reads this Blog.
March 23, 2020 at 4:59 PM


Turkeys don't have testicles. They let Mitch McConnell do all their negotiating.

Anonymous said...


Wheeeee!: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee.

Man: If you were my wife, I'd poison it myself.

Anonymous said...

Man answers the door and it's a cop.

Cop: Sir, I'm here to tell you it looks like your wife was hit by a bus.

Man: I know, but she really does have a great personality.