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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Cupcake Trachta Loses Parking Ticket Case to Bottom-Feeding Blogger

Cupcake Trachta, in the mancave
It's happened again. Nazareth Police Chief Thomas "Cupcake" Trachta has gone down in flames during a court proceeding. Last time that happened, he and his sidekick, Danny Troxell were after the infamous Sticker Gang, Sure of victory, they had already erected a gallows and had 1,000 witnesses under subpoena. But in very short order, a Criminal Defender Dream Team consisting of Gary Asteak, Phil Lauer and Mark Minotti ripped their case to shreds. This time, things were far less dramatic. Trachta had given me a ticket for parking at an expired meter. The Dream Team refuses to represent bottom-feeding bloggers, but I managed to win the case on my own. I think Magisterial District Judge John Capobianco just feels sorry for me.

There's no doubt in my mind that this and several other tickets were Trachta's way of thanking me for some of the stories I've written about him. After poking fun at him during an Executive John Brown news conference in Nazareth, Trachta gave me a ticket for being parked too far from the curb. I was 13" away. He even measured it. He got me. I paid the fine. But there was no way I was going to pay a ticket for parking at an expired meter that had not, in fact, expired.

I got that ticket the day after I broke the news that he and his sidekick, Danny Troxell, had been sued in federal court over the tragic death of Timothy Nixon an African American father of two in a community not known for its African Americans. Come to think of it, they're just getting used to the Irish here.

Trachta testified that he was on his way to some Chief meeting at 9 am when he saw my car, parked on a street. He thought it was possibly disabled or abandoned. When his meeting was over, he checked my rusty and old car again, and decided to write me up for parking at an expired meter. He was subversively telling Judge Capobianco that he was dealing with one of those impoverished townies who give Nazareth a bad name.

But last time I checked, it's no crime to be poor. Many of our teachers, writers, artists and clergy are poor.

I asked Cupcake whether it's a crime in Nazareth to drive a beat up old and rusty car, to which he objected.

"You brought it up," observed Hizzoner.

Trachta had another and bigger problem. There actually was money and time on the meter. When I came out and saw my car, I took pictures. They were introduced into evidence over Trachta's objections that he had no idea when they were taken. I testified that they were a fair and accurate representation of the scene, and I had taken them as soon as I saw the ticket. .

My position was that Trachta is too busy doing Chief things and simply failed to notice that there was money on the meter. He wanted to get me, as he had already done twice after stories making fun of him. But in his haste, he never made sure that I had actually broken the law.

Judge Cap acquitted me, not because he disbelieved the Chief, he claimed, but because I do not usually quarrel over parking tickets.

As Chief Cupcake stormed out, another fellow walked in and I wished him luck, figuring he was next.

"No, I'm not here for a hearing," he told me. "I'm the exterminator." As he began spraying, I cleared out before he got the biggest bug in the room - me.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

you can almost see the top of troxells head in that pic, haha lol

Anonymous said...

So you are proud of getting away with crime. Aren't you special.

Anonymous said...

"they're just getting used to the Irish here"


no. no, they're not

Anonymous said...

Did you know Colonial Regional told Nazareth to take a hike on Saturday? Apparently Troxell was no longer in CupCake land and he crossed his jurisdictional boundaries. I can only comment by saying... I saw the Colonial Cop throw a dog biscuit and Troxell hunted it down. Good Dog!

Canary_In_Coalmine said...

Trachta's tales make for interesting reading and probably drive significant traffic to your site. Perhaps you could thank the Chief with another box of cupcakes?

Anonymous said...

FT = FIRE TRACHTA
FT = FIRE TRACHTA
FT = FIRE TRACHTA
FT = FIRE TRACHTA
FT = FIRE TRACHTA

Anonymous said...

Just because Troxell was having sex with Trachta does not mean Trachta was having sex with Troxell.

Anonymous said...

"So you are proud of getting away with crime."

Jeez Trish, don't you ever give it a rest?

Severin Freeman said...

Congrats Bernie! A win for the little guy against a corrupt police chief!!

Anonymous said...

Deputy Dogg gonna be dancin in the dungeon this weekend while the Tractor Trailer cracks his rawhide whip whilst sippin a very fruuity cocktail with one of those tiny umbrellas. The Trailer loves to topp but dogg has needs to, maybe they can recruit da twink to serve as the bottom layer in a man meat sammich that way Deputy Dogg isnt so backed up.

Congrats Bernie, see you at the American!

Anonymous said...

Free checks and drugs at the 7-11? Celebration time, right?

Mr. Hankey said...

Bernie, did you leave the bag of shit on the porch of the Trachta estate? I'd like to congratulate the performance artist who did so. Please advise. Thanks.

Bernie O'Hare said...

12:31, aka Tricia Mezzacappa, I have told you rrpeatedly that the 7-11, which is not even in Nazareth, is no hang out for the Sticker gang. It is sometimes a hang out for high school kids, most of whom are ... kids.

Anonymous said...

Guess who lost her job (again)??? lol

Bernie O'Hare said...

Mr. Hanley, Howdy Ho! Not my style to do something like that.

Anonymous said...

The Tractor plows fields and spreads seed in both fertile and non fertile lands. He does not discriminate just motors on gyrating and sweating as he makes his way through the willing in his dundgeon as deputy dogg works the door in his assless chaps, Santorum seeping from every last book and cranny of his fabulous fanny.

Join the party free booze and lube, deputy dogg doesn't discriminate either he switched teams at the command of his leader from the big apple

Anonymous said...

Bernie, can I please do a roast of MessedUpCrackWhore...... Pretty PLEASE???

Bernie O'Hare said...

You can do what you want, but if you violate my commenting policy, I will delete you.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bernie O'Hare said...

Dude, I can't allow that. Sorry. If you sign your name and take responsibility, you can re-post.

ThatStickerGuyTrevorG said...

The Roast of Mrs. Ed (Roast Master Big Poppa Pig)

Have you ever looked at this woman's smile? I didnt even know horses shared the same DNA! Her teeth are gaped so far apart, I could kick a field goal between them. No for real though, when they threw shit on Trachta's porch, I didn't know they would take MezzaCupcake and put her in a bag and leave it there. I'd be ashamed to be compared to Caitlyn. At least he knows how to dress how a woman properly should. This woman's obsession with pigs is the reason her RTC got taken away.... She was caught sniffing the wrong holster. Mezzacappa's teeth stick so far out of her mouth you can hear her neighing all the way in Chris Christie's Office. Now I see why Jim Gregory is attracted to her. If I was in jail surrounded by men, I'd probably find her just as attractive as them. Her vocabulary consists of Check Stealers, Druggies and Alcoholic. Maybe she should invest in an education. Her mother is probably proud of her. I thought Gracedale had a strict no PETS policy? I guess when you've been serviced as many times as her you can say your a service animal.

Anonymous said...

Bernie by now you know who I am. God bless you for the work you do. My blank said you were a good man. Soon you and my blank, and I will have a cupcake and coffee. Did I say cupcake. I mean cupcakes for everyone. PS batman and Robin said to keep on trucking, and wear hip boots so as to not step in Deputy Doggs shit. It's loaded with last night's dinner fresh from Chief Cupcakes ass. Can't wait to meet you. My blank will tell you who I am. PS Deputy Dogg , your bag is over load. Smelling ripe.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Hankey,

Are you referring to the bag of shit that Trachta wanted Bushkill Twp P.D. to send to the Pa. State Police crime lab? The same one where he falsified legal documents and sent it to Pa. State Police labs, under Nazareth Borough P.D. at the cost of Nazareth Borough tax payers, after Bushkill Twp. P.D. refused?

Bernie, can you check up on this through the right to know act? Check around the years 2009 or 2010.

Anonymous said...

The sticker goons revel in their drug induced ignorance. Residents support their local law enforcement.

Anonymous said...

not sure what residents support their local law enforcement... but I know throughout Nazareth, the Residents are sick of CupCake and Dogg. Maybe in West Easton they do.

Anonymous said...

Residents who have real jobs and real houses enjoy Nazareth. Some other types would be more comfortable in Allentown. Good for the town government and police to not be intimidated by emotionally unstable goons and thugs.

Peter J.Cochran said...

Bernie , how about just paying it ----didn't my-- mayor get tickets and payed them / a / means question mark,my button box is degrading and ,,,,,well then end is shortly. Why don't just pay it/

Bernie O'Hare said...

Peter, I refuse to pay a ticket for OT PARKING when I have money in the meter. Innocent people should not just pay fines

Anonymous said...

I can make fun and comments as the next person but in all seriousness this is just plain sad that the Nazareth community puts up with this in America in 2015.
ONE CAN ONLY WONDER IS THIS IS A SOUTHRN RED NECK TOWN IN 1950 complete with Boss Hog.
I wonder why the DA has not stepped in as he does have the power after enough of the BS to take over the police department as the Chief County Law Enforcement Officer of the county.
A grand jury and a court order will work out fine. There is certainly enough evidence....