The Twisted Logic of Nazareth Mayor Earl Keller

I think I saw him at the Nazareth pool one day late this summer. When he looked at me, he started laughing, so I'm pretty sure the dude in the Spandex was none other than Nazareth Mayor Earl Keller. I do look like Bigfoot in my bathing suit, so I didn't really mind his chuckles. I'm used to it. The Mayor was at the pool with some young kids, and he seemed to really enjoy his young charges. Hiz Honor seems like a nice guy. But as nice as this guy may be, his command of logic is questionable.

I first realized this when Mayor Keller blamed three tire "slashing" incidents on Nazareth residents who oppose the borough's plan to expand its municipal center to a park. The first of these incidents occurred long before the proposed expansion was publicly known. The second matter didn't even occur in Nazareth, and the victimized official blamed neighborhood kids who had been causing him some trouble. The final act of vandalism was directed at the Mayor's car, which had been safely parked inside a garage. Yet the Mayor, who actually was police chief in Nazareth, put two and two together and came up with five.

Now he's at it again. Yesterday, a downtown bank was robbed. That's big news in a place like Nazareth. But the Mayor actually used this potentially deadly situation to argue against keeping the police station downtown. "So much for downtown police presence being an anchor for the downtown." Huh? If you take Keller's argument to its logical extreme, Nazareth should not have a police department at all since crime is going to happen anyway. And don't you think it's just a bit tacky to use a bank robbery as an excuse to argue for a municipal expansion in a park?

He definitely looks better in a bathing suit than me. He might be a nice guy. But he definitely could use a few lessons in logic.

Nazareth's Mayoral Campaign

Fred Daugherty, a Republican, is the only candidate officially running for Nazareth mayor. So Karen Herbst, a Democrat married to Borough Councilman Jack Herbst, is waging a stealth write-in campaign on the Democratic side.

Daugherty somehow got wind of this effort and is retaliating with his own write-in campaign on the Democratic side. He even has Mayor Earl Keller, a Democrat, speaking to voters as they walk up to vote. For some reason, Hizzoner just glared at me.

Other than leading the annual kazoo parade, Keller has been a do-nothing mayor in Nazareth. He is part of the cabal who unsuccessfully attempted to ruin a kid's park for a new municipal center. He has also unsuccessfully resisted efforts to improve Nazareth's police department. It has surged into the modern era with Chief Sinclair.

Knowing that Democrat Keller is backing Republican Daugherty, I gave Democrat Karen Herbst a write-in vote.

Is all this beginning to sound like incest?

Photo Credit: Express Times

Nazareth Graffiti Artist Fingered

His tag is "Coach." If you live in or near Nazareth, you've seen his dastardly work.

He's the bastard who spray-painted nine cars outside Wal-Mart last week. He lit up the old Ranch House in Upper Nazareth Township. He's even spray-painted my jeep several times.

Nazareth Mayor Earl Keller is convinced the culprit must be a blogger. Police, of course, suspect skateboarders. Nazareth Borough Councilman Conrad Bowers has already appointed himself lead investigator. He plans to convert the skatepark into an internment camp for 'boarders while he gets interrogation tips from the CIA.

Keller, cops and Bowers are on the wrong track. I saw the real culprit last weekend from my window. He laughed hysterically as he spray-painted "Coach" all over my jeep ... again. I dashed outside with a golf club, but the old fart was too fast for me. He hopped on a skateboard, went about twenty feet to a nearby Caddy, and sped off in a shower of sparks. He even threw a firecracker at me as he roared off.

I called 911 and gave a detailed description, but was immediately committed. I think those little turds are in on it with the "coach." But they could only keep me 48 hours. I snapped a picture of this miscreant with my cellphone and have sent it to the FBI.

I can't wait to see the look on Northampton County Council Prez Grube's face when the feds ask him to pop his hood.

Nazareth Mayor Doesn't Read Blogs, But Sure Can Criticize Them

Express Times reporter JD Malone, who covers the Nazareth beat, was nice enough to give Nazareth's two blogs a little plug yesterday.

NewsOverCoffee, the leading Nazareth blog, is hyper-local, contains information the mainstream simply has no space to cover, and is a must read for anyone really interested in that community.

I'm the other Nazareth blog. I'm not hyper-local, just hyper. I might write about Nazareth today and Buddy Christ tomorrow.

Malone's account, nice as it is, makes me wonder about Nazareth Mayor Earl Keller, who strangely denies reading blogs. "I never read them. I'm just not into that type of media. ... I hear some things that are on there. I hear lots of people talk about [the blogs]."

That's a crock.

The reality is he doen't want people to read them. Blogs mercilessly nailed both Keller and Nazareth borough council last summer over its back-room meetings to move its municipal center into a kids' park. He was so miffed he recently whined about us in his "state of the borough" address.

"[O]thers in our community choose to cowardly criticize and personally attack those who volunteer and those who serve on Council, hiding in the anonymity of Internet gossip sites rather than volunteer their own time to do some tangible good."

Isn't it amazing that someone who "never" reads blogs is able to criticize them in such intricate detail in his state of the borough address?

Would You Like to Be a Nazareth BürgerMeister?

Four of Nazareth's nine borough council seats are up next year, but it looks like there will probably be only one open seat. Democrats Charles Donello and Jack Herbst and Republican Cindy Werner are reportedly seeking reelection, but Rev. William Matz may be stepping down after seven hundred years of service. The job pays $2,500. In addition to two meetings every month, borough council members sit on nine active committees and fourteen different outfits like the solid waste users group. Their salary translates to about $0.01 per hour, almost as much as blogging.

Mayor Earl Keller's term will expire next year, too. So far, I hear that former borough council member Fred Daugherty and current council member Larry Stoudt will duke it out for a job that pays a whopping $5,000.

Are the Lehigh Valley's Government Officials Vampires?

Are the Lehigh Valley's government officials vampires? I ask this because they shrink from the Sunshine Act. Let's look at some very recent examples. In Northampton County, Lamont McClure (a lawyer who I only see at night) chaired a Law & Order committee hearing that violated the Sunshine Act. When I dared point it out, I was besieged by a litany of threats until Lamont's own Solicitor and Morning Call columnist Bill White told him to exercise his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent. While I was doing the Tango with Lamont, a Fountain Hill Council Committee was also meeting behind closed doors with a hospital (were they looking for plasma?) until The Express Times found out and showed its wooden stake.

But these violations pale in the face of what goes on in the land of Nazareth. This is the land where Count, I mean Councilman, Stoudt once canceled a police committee meeting rather than let two reporters inside. Way to go, Stoudt! Most recently, he arrogantly asserted one evening that nothing would ever get done if Council involved the public. As a result, decisions about controversial issues are always made behind closed doors. They have the wisdom of most decisions made in the dark.

Want some examples? There's a civil war cannon in Nazareth circle that probably doesn't mean much to you, but matters a lot to some Nazareth residents. Borough officials wanted to move it out of the circle for reasons that defy logic. Maybe it fires silver bullets. When the public found out, it went ballistic, and exploded as loudly as that cannon ever roared. Council shrunk into the mist.

Same thing with the new government center. Once before, about six years ago, they wanted to build a new government center. Guess where? Yep, the same spot that's under consideration now - a neighborhood park where children play baseball and other games. The cannon roared again and borough officials backed off. But now they're at it again, operating in darkness as usual.

In most municipalities, the Solicitor is usually the voice of reason and will always err on the side of including the public, especially on matters of public interest. But not in the land of Nazareth. Solicitor Al "Renfield" Pierce concludes every thing that committees do is "administrative action," and thus exempt from the Sunshine Act.

I got news for you, Al. You're wrong! "Administrative action" is limited to execution of policies previously decided at an open meeting. That's not what happened when committees got together behind closed doors to decide again to foist a new government center on unsuspecting citizens, and smack dab in the middle of a park. No siree. At least three members of Council were totally in the dark, so those committees could not have been executing policies previously agreed in an open meeting. And these committees actually hired an architect to draw plans for this one and only option. A minority of Council can order architectural drawings? And no other choices? Take it or leave it, baby. That's not "administrative action." That's official action behind closed doors. And the option under consideration will cost around $3 million, enough to suck the blood from every Nazareth resident who operates in the open.

So that's why I hand-delivered the letter below to borough officials Monday. I did it during the hot noonday sun, while they slept. And in the evening, I've got cloves of garlic around my neck and a few crucifixes in my pockets. But now my windows are rattling. Gotta' go. Where's Buffy?

To: All members of Nazareth Borough Council; Hon. Earl Keller, Mayor; and Alfred Pierce, Esq.

Re: Sunshine Act Violations

Date: July 17, 2006

I am a Nazareth resident. At Borough Council's meeting on July 10, 2006, it became quite clear that you have participated in repeated violations of the Sunshine Act for years. This is because you mistakenly believe the Act only applies to meetings at which a quorum of Council is present. As a result, council Committees have been meeting behind closed doors, without public advertising or notice.

As long ago as March 2000, you conducted private committee hearings to decide what to do about a civil war cannon at Nazareth's circle. Most recently, two committees met behind closed doors to decide on a municipal building expansion. Those committees ultimately merged into a single committee that authorized an architect to prepare plans for a new government center at Nazareth Hall Park

As you will all acknowledge, Nazareth Borough Council is an "agency" as that term is defined in the Sunshine Act. But an "agency" is also defined to include committees "authorized by the [Council] to take official action or render advice on matters of agency business ... ." Thus, the committees that met to consider options for a municipal building expansion are subject to the Sunshine Act. Their recommendations and the decision to hire an architect all constitute "official action" as that term is defined by the Sunshine Act.

These committees and their combined single committee violated the Sunshine Act. The Court, in its discretion, could enjoin any further consideration of a borough center at Nazareth Hall Park. The Court could also invalidate the decision to hire an architect to draw plans for a new government center at Nazareth Hall Park.

Your basic misunderstanding is you think you only need to follow the Sunshine Act at your regularly scheduled meetings. But it applies to committees as well, and it certainly applies to a committee considering something as controversial and important as a new government center. Meeting in private to discuss this matter of public interest betrays both distrust and disrespect to the citizens you serve. In fact, Councilman Stoudt had the arrogance to tell one newspaper, "if officials had to alert the public every time a couple of them got together, no business would ever get accomplished." This statement reveals an antipathy both to the letter and spirit of the Sunshine Act. It is a matter of public policy that citizens have the right to attend and be heard at meetings in which official action is considered. The Sunshine Act itself states that "secrecy in public affairs undermines the faith of the public in government and the public's effectiveness in fulfilling its role in a democratic society." In short, democracy dies behind closed doors.

As your Solicitor can inform you, I have 30 days from the date of discovery of a Sunshine Act violation within which to seek a legal remedy. I have no wish to do so, but am extremely disturbed by your systemic exclusion of the people you serve from matters that affect them directly.

To avoid litigation, I am asking that you make the following commitments before August 9:

1. You must agree that ALL future meetings of Council and its committees will be conducted in compliance with the Sunshine Act, i.e. committee hearings will be publicly advertised and open to the public;

2. You must reschedule every Committee hearing at which any official action was taken concerning the new government center, including the decision to hire an architect to prepare plans for a municipal expansion at Nazareth Hall Park, and conduct new hearings with public notice and public participation;

3. You must table any further consideration of a municipal building expansion until the committee has conducted one or more meetings that comply with the Sunshine Act, and that gives the public an opportunity to discuss options in addition to the sacrifice of Nazareth Hall Park.

Thanking you, I am

Bernie O'Hare

Welcome to the Boonies of Northampton County!!

If you want to blog about politics in the LV, you better have thick skin, especially if you're crazy enough to identify yourself. I found that out pretty quickly the first time I slammed Norco council member Lamont McClure over a Sunshine Act violation. Not only did he threaten me with libel - now a weekly occurrence - he also made sure everyone knew that I was a drunk lawyer who was suspended. Others made some vague hints about my sexual lifestyle and bathroom habits.

Holy canoli!

I put on a bold front at the time, but I have a confession to make. I was scared shitless. I had never been exposed that way before. And let's face it, I threw the first punch. I brought it on myself.

I was pretty much being shouted into oblivion when suddenly, Morning Call reporter Paul Mushick pulled my ass out of the ringer. Apparently, I had been right! Reporters get touchy when it comes to the Sunshine Act. Mushick, in about three minutes, found violations I had missed myself.

Hooray for our team!

Things got worse for poor Lamont. The Eye of Mordor, which is how Morning Call columnist and blogger Bill White insists on being addressed these days, skewered McClure, concluding that Lamont needs to learn "when to just shut up."

Nazareth Police Ripping Off Taxpayers

Police harassment of Nazareth skateboarders, which I told you about yesterday, is actually a recent phenomenon. But it's symptomatic of a much bigger problem - an out of control police force ripping off taxpayers left and right. Let me fill you in how they "serve and protect" us.

Before Chief Ruch became seriously ill, Nazareth police had a more enlightened approach about a lot of things, from skateboarders to police overtime. He made out fair schedules and instructed officers to show some understanding to skateboarders, who had no place of their own.

Most skateboarders would meet and practice at Schaeffer Elementary School. In fact, that's where a portion of the video I mentioned yesterday, was filmed. Although boards are technically prohibited, no one seemed to mind. Police officers and kids would simply wave at each other as cops went by on patrol.

All that changed over the Easter holiday. Chief Ruch, in a losing battle with pancreatic cancer, was no longer able to function. And as he surrendered the reins, a much darker and malevolent police department began to assert itself.

Warning Sign

Skateboarders felt it before anyone else. On Easter weekend, they were outside Schaeffer school. Some were playing ball while others played around with their shredsleds. When two part-time cops drove by, no one paid much attention. But suddenly, the rules had changed. Cops exploded from their cruiser, including a belligerent Officer Shawn Hummer. He screamed that he's "fuckin' tired" of kids skateboarding at Schaeffer, and proceeded to collect 18 skateboards, chipping away at them and laughing in the process. "Oops. Looks like I just chipped another board," Hummer laughed as he tossed boards in the cruiser. He also seized a bicycle and a very dangerous ball.

Shawn Hummer, incidentally, is the dude who miraculously escaped being charged with DUI in the slate belt this May under very mysterious circumstances. Here's my question about Hummer, a part-time cop who is pretty much an at-will employee. Why the hell is he still here? Do we really need guys like that in the Nazareth police department?

What happened to those kids on Easter weekend was a warning sign. Things were seriously amiss in the Nazareth police department. But few of us noticed. I know I didn't.

Chief Ruch's Funeral

The next sign of trouble came after the funeral for chief Ruch, who passed away on May 11. All police officers were given the day off, with pay, so they could attend Chief Ruch's funeral. Incredibly, they had actually decided to claim overtime for the time spent attending Chief Ruch's funeral. That is a disgraceful insult, both to the memory of their fallen chief and to taxpayers, who were already paying them to attend the funeral.

A former Nazareth police officer, now employed in the slate belt, told them, "You ought to be ashamed of yourselves." That's the only thing that saved taxpayers from a disgusting and tacky claim for overtime.

Missing Office Supplies

Did you know that at least two full-time Nazareth police officers have their own landscaping businesses? Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but people start getting suspicious when binders, paper and other office supplies begin to disappear. Things have become so bad that borough secretaries have been forced to lock up everything, even the color copier, which costs the borough 10 cents per page. It appears Nazareth police officers, supposedly here to "serve and protect us," can no longer be trusted.

Nazareth Cops Stick Taxpayers with $1300 Bill for Unauthorized Equipment

Not long after Chief Ruch surrendered control of the police department, cops proudly presented borough council with a $1,300 bill. With the exception of two batons valued at about $200, none of these items were authorized police equipment under their current contract with the borough. The same cops who insist that some poor kid should know that skateboarding on a basketball court is a crime, themselves plead ignorance over unauthorized items. In their case, it's OK. How's that for irony? Borough council quietly swallowed the $1,100 difference. Why not? You'll pay for it.

Police Wages Out of Control, and Include a 1,289% increase in Overtime for Part-Time Officers

A study of police wages between the months of February and May, shows an alarming 67.6% increase over the past five years. This study just happened to fall into my hands last night. In 2002, the four-month total was $73,918. This year, it's a whopping $123,937. In 2006, only $391 was paid in overtime to part-time officers. This year, it's $5,431. That's a 1,289% increase.

Why?

As I mentioned, two full-timers have businesses on the side, and this is their busy time. They are actually making their own schedules, and are allowing part-timers to soak the borough so they can pull in more dough themselves. For some reason, they're still able to pick up pretty much overtime themselves. Last year, it was $13,737 over that four month period. This year, it's still $10,321.

Everybody's happy, except for the taxpayer. It's nice to know that we're paying a 1,289% increase in overtime to part-timers so that some full-timers can get their landscaping business off the ground.

Where the hell is Mayor Earl Keller? He tells everyone he is the administrative chief of police, so why doesn't he step up to the plate and act like one? If he can't do that, he should resign. His responsibility is to taxpayers, not cops who are using taxpayers to help fund their landscaping businesses. He should be making these schedules himself, and should insist on disciplinary action against cops who abuse the public trust.

Police Serving The Landed Gentry

Ray Orwig is Nazareth's biggest commercial and residential landlord. I don't know the dude, but understand he has no love for local cops. He'd probably laugh if someone told him they think they work for him.

Start laughing, Ray.

About a week or so ago, Nazareth police were bullying a bunch of skateboarders at the still unopened skatepark in their own friendly way. Here's what Officer Papsy said to several of them, "You skateboarders are going to ruin it for everybody. Mr. Ray Orwig is a powerful man and has lots of money and will shut your park down."

What a wonderful lesson in government from the local constabulary!

Suffice it to say, Nazareth police have devolved from a force that protects and serves to one that punishes and enslaves.

Blogger's Note: I did call Nazareth police yesterday, and was told the acting chief was unavailable until tomorrow. I've decided to go ahead and post this blog anyway with my one-sided version. Blogs are interactive so they can post denials if they wish. I've already been told they deny cursing at kids. I believe the kids.