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This is who General Lee Snover has picked
to replace Charlie Dent in Congress. |
Hello Comrades!
I interrupt my weekly reading of Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals for a special Thank You to Congressman wannabe Justin Simmons and his good buddy, NorCo GOP Chair Gloria "General" Lee Snover. Thanks to their combined efforts on our behalf, Pennsylvania's 15th Congressional District will finally be returning to us for the first time since 1999. That's right, folks, the 15th is going blue. We would never have done it without the help of Justin Simmons and Lee Snover.
Thanks to Simmons and Snover, there's a new purity test for Republicans. You either support Trump or you don't.
Pre-Trump, there were all kinds of litmus tests. One group believed you had to be pro-life and opposed to all forms of abortion, even if that meant the mother would go tets up. For the NRA wing, it was the right to carry rocket launchers wherever and whenever the hell they wanted. Another faction believed that the rich should either pay no taxes at all or pay lower taxes than you. Most favored deporting anyone whose name ends in a vowel. And though some of their best friends are black, some party members could never warp their heads around the idea of a black president, even though he was only half black. They never learned to just love the white half.
Now things are much simpler. You either support Authoritarian Donald Trump or you don't. If you support Donald Trump, you could open an abortion clinic tomorrow and General Lee Snover would kiss you. But if you subscribe to all kinds of Republican theories but detest Donald Trump, you're no good.
Every year, the county Republican parties host a Lincoln Day's breakfast in honor of the man who said we should act with malice towards none and charity for all. Traditionally, Democrats were invited because we all are, after all, Americans.
But General Lee stopped that practice. It was Republicans only. And not just any Republican. Charlie Dent, the most powerful and popular Republican in the Lehigh Valley, was snubbed.
Under General Lee's strict rules, Lincoln himself would have been cast aside.
A party that once met in ballrooms now meets in a phone booth, if you can find one.
The persons left include extremists like flamethrower Tricia Mezzacappa, who actually
penned a letter to the editor supporting mass murderer Rockne Newell.
But that's OK because she supports Donald Trump.
She got a major award.
It was not enough to just snub Dent. General Lee Snover, the Republican party chair, actually took to the stage at a Trump cult rally that was only open to about 200 people with tickets, and bashed Charlie Dent, accusing the centrist Republican of being part of the establishment elite.
That's because Dent, who has principles and morals, stood up to Trump, who has neither.
Another person lacking principles and morals is Justin Simmons. Last year, he took campaign money from Dent. He sought and received an endorsement. Dent even put him in touch with some of his own contributors. And Simmons asked Dent what they could do to get Trump off the ballot.
But now with Trump elected and Charlie Dent being subjected to daily attacks by General Lee and others who should be ashamed of themselves, Justin Simmons sensed an opportunity. So this summer, he made trips to the swamp in Washington (that he pretends to detest) to line up support for his own Congressional bid.
Now he is suddenly pro-Trump and is challenging Dent.
General Lee loves him because he is on the Trump train. Never mind his shitty attendance record, his missed votes in the House.
Simmons and Lee are both busily bashing any Republican who gets in their way, including South Whitehall's Ryan MacKenzie.
But it does not stop there.
When Charlie Dent announced his retirement from public life, he asked Lehigh County GOP Chair Jessica Banotai and Exec Director Trevor Waldron for their help in putting the event together. As they prepared, someone in the Simmons camp posted a very ugly and vulgar personal attack (since deleted) aimed at Banotai in
PoliticsPA. It shook her up. Banotai and Waldron fired off a number of unflattering text messages about Simmons in reaction to this attack. Simmons, who had no problem with General Lee Snover's bias against Charlie Dent, is now demanding the heads of Banotai and Waldron for their bias against him.
Thanks to General Lee and Simmons, Lehigh Valley Republicans are eating their own.
The result is that next November, conservative Democrat John Morganell will be elected to represent the 15th Congressional District in Congress.
It would never have happened without you, Lee and Justin. Even your pal Vladimir Putin would be impressed.
Thanks.