The Flisser Factor

Frank Flisser, flanked by wife Mary Beth and son Tom

Gerald E. "Jerry" Seyfried, a Northampton County Council member, who went on to become Executive, claims that the best decision he ever made as a public official was when he voted in 1978 to confirm Frank Flisser as Northampton County's first ever Council Clerk. Frank went on to serve for 36 years. He saw Executives and Council members come and go, but whether they were Democrat or Republican, they all have high opinions of this Muhlenberg College grad. Perhaps it was his humility. Perhaps it was his extensive knowledge of County government, equaled only by people like Jerry or Budget Administrator Doran Hamann. Flisser himself had two rules. First, treat everyone the same. Second, always tell the truth.

An avid and very fast runner who sometimes put in 20 miles a day, Frank was hit by a stroke in the middle of his last run ... and managed to make it home because of his superior physical fitness. No longer able to run, he hits the bike at the gym several times every week. Unable to drive, his wife Mary Beth or son Tom or both would take him to meetings and stay. They are great people, too.

They tricked him into coming to the courthouse before last night's meeting. When he got there he was honored with a plaque and photograph that is now hanging next to Jim Hemstreet. And cake.

Jerry Seyfried was there. So was Ron Angle, Panama hat and all.

When I hear public sector employees get trashed, I think about Frank.

He was the man who kept Council from going completely off the tracks try as hard as they might.

The County Counters

At the end of every Council meeting, Council Clerk Frank Flisser is called on to deliver a report. It varies from "No report" to "My dog ate it." But last night, he spoke. He told the tale of Ted and Jane Tofari, who plan to visit every county courthouse in the country. There are 3,143 of them, if you're counting.

Jane and Ted dropped in at both Lehigh (#3,000) and Northampton (#3,001) County courthouses earlier this week. When they get to each courthouse, they also look around until they find a coin.

In Allentown, that must have taken a long time because the City probably already grabbed it. You see, fancy parking meters surround the courthouse, and magically revert to 0 when someone pulls out of his spot. In Easton, it's much easier to park and find money. Even with an RV, the Tofaris could probably park for free if they were willing to climb the Washington Street hill. On the way up, they could find lots of money by rifling through the pockets of those who never made it up.

Frank Flisser's Christmas Wishes

Northampton County Council members and executives have come and gone over the last thirty years, and council clerk Frank Flisser has seen it all. His is an "exempt" position, meaning council members could farm him out simply because they dislike the way he parts his hair. But he has impressed everyone over the years, even public pains in the ass like me, with his accessibility and dedication.

A "council clerk's report" appears near the end of the agenda for every public meeting. Frank usually offers a quiet "My report has been filed" or "I have no report" as council members get ready to run out of the building. But at the conclusion of last night's budget meeting, Frank actually had a report. "I wish everybody a Merry Christmas and I hope everybody gets what they deserve for Christmas."

When Frank retires, he plans to compete in the Tour de France. He's invited me to his office for a cookie today.

Norco Council Conducts Lengthy Meeting About ... Windows

Last night's lengthy meeting of Northampton County Council was worse than root canal. I've been to plenty of long meetings, and last night's was really just a shade over two hours. But most of it was devoted to a very exhaustive power point presentation of every step taken so far to replace windows at Gracedale. Every time it rains, residents and workers get soaked. Leaking windows have been a problem there for years.

A year ago, a Cowan Associates engineer told Northampton County Council it would cost the county $2.7 million to fix that problem, and that it would take at least three years. They were going to install a test window - throw grenades at it and stuff like that to see how it held up - and then work away, taking breaks every winter.

A year has gone by, and boy it's been a blur of activity for those overworked engineers.

November 29, 2007 - Test window carefully installed and Rev. Mike Dowd blesses it with holy water.

November 30, 2007 to January 10, 2008 - Engineers offer prayers and a human sacrifice, which explains council member John Cusick's strange absence from last night's council meeting.

January 11, 2008: Test window sprayed with garden hose. Water seeps in through bottom. Ron Angle is asked to blow on window, and it flies right through the building, severely wounding Wayne Grube.

January 12-14, 2008: Engineers unsuccessfully scour Northampton County for virgin sacrifice. They settle on a live chicken.

January 15, 2008: Test window repaired by extremely complicated procedure known as "caulking."

January 22, 2008: Gracedale bedpans, mostly full, thrown against test window. This time, water seeps in through top and sides.

January 23, 2008 - February 4, 2008: Engineers scour Lehigh County for a virgin. Mayor Pawlowski recommends Michael Molovinsky, forgetting Molovinsky's Transylvanian heritage. No wooden stakes can be found in the LV. All have been used for development and billboards.

February 4, 2008: The complicated "caulking" procedure is repeated along top and sides of test window by international experts.

February 5, 2008: Window retested with John Stoffa tears from eye dropper, and still leaks. Engineers decide to pass the window anyway, concluding all windows leak. The hell with it!

As windows are replaced in residents' rooms, engineers warn something will have to be done about them. County officials have yet to determine whether they should be moved to the prison or just shot.

At the merciful conclusion of last night's meeting, the usually silent John Stoffa suddenly raised one of his gigantic arms in the air, nearly putting it through the ceiling. Reporters had long since deserted council chambers, and several of the spectators had committed suicide.

But Stoffa had an important announcement. Today marks the thirtieth year that council clerk Frank Flisser has served the county. Council members and executives have come and gone, but Frank has remained a steadying influence in Northampton County. He has always been accessible, hard-working and, most important of all, has the most integrity of any public servant I've ever seen.

When he retires, Frank plans to model underwear.