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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Boomer the Exploding Dog



Northampton County Sheriff Rich Johnston advised County Council yesterday that he's adding a new Deputy to his staff. Instead of the usual cost for a trained Deputy Sheriff, this one is costing only $1,700 a year. That's because this new addition is a dog.

According to the Sheriff, suspicious packages are sometimes left at the courthouse's loading dock. People also sometimes leave briefcases in a hallway or the parking lot. Rather than risking a Deputy's life to check these items, that task will fall to the K-9, whose name is going to be Boomer.

Both the dog and its eight weeks of training are thanks to an anonymous donation from a county resident.

In addition to detecting possible explosive devices, Boomer will also be trained to assist local police in tracking elderly county residents who wander off.

Council member Tara Zrinski wanted to know whether the dog is going to be male or female. Isn't that sexist? She also questioned why the county is hiring a chocolate lab. Isn't that racist? Sheriff Johnston said he ruled out German Shepherds because they tend to bite. Isn't that anti-German?

The dog will be partnered with a Deputy who will receive one hour per day for at-home care.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Word is the council meeting tomorrow is going to the dogs. The voter people are cvom9ng in mass to protest. The plan is to disrupt the meeting and make it uncontrollable.

Should be interesting to see if the Prez can keep the meeting in order.

Anonymous said...

That is why sheriffs are present, to throw people who disrupt meetings out, so bye bye

Anonymous said...

Finally, a wise expenditure of county money. This is the first time in county history. Mark the day.

Anonymous said...

DOGS LIVES MATTER TOO

Anonymous said...

>sexist
>racist
>anti-German

Really hard hitting Boomer journalism in every sense of the phrase. Calling the dawg Boomer is also kinda ageist doe. Why not name it X-er, Millennial, or Zee?

Anonymous said...

Zarinski is an idiot!!

Kyle Gase said...

"Word is the council meeting tomorrow is going to the dogs. The voter people are cvom9ng in mass to protest. The plan is to disrupt the meeting and make it uncontrollable."

I'm with Lehigh Valley for Better Protests and we will be counter protesting this group. Their protest standards are subpar and give us reason for concern. Protest should be held to a higher standard. They should get one of those inflatable rats or something to be better at protesting.

Anonymous said...

An exploding pig would be in keeping with trimming the political fat around the public tit that many suckel.

Anonymous said...

The inflatable rat is already booked for a company exec's mother's funeral. It's booked for some management guy's kid's First Communion after that ... then wide open for a couple weeks.

MarcusBrandt(never fixed an All Star Vote) said...

We should blow up Iran (same as the dog). Thanks for not blowing up pigs,I bought two pigs =Murray & Fleck !

mikek said...

Murray/Haddad and Fleck !

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

hey bob Ryan how was the pig roast?