Buddy Christ: Lou Hershman. Wow!

Hey, mammas and pappas! Got Christ? It's Me, the Divine who's so fine. Just breezed in from Vegas, where I couldn't lose. Table games, baby. Can't wait until they hit the Christmas City. Closest thing to Heaven here on Earth.

I told you I'd be back to cover your back. Doesn't anyone read the fricking Bible anymore? I know Cunningham doesn't, but couldn't someone at LV Christian High School at least send a newsletter? Do they have to spend all their time deciding who is Godly?

By the way, O'Hare won't be here anytime soon. He's waking up just about now, and is about to discover that Someone has transported his bed right by the targets at the Deputy Sheriffs' firing range. I hope that helps them. While he dances his way out of there, I'll give you My Election Day Picks.

Lehigh County Executive: Listen, there's only one Godly Man, and it's not Scott Ott. The only Dude around here who should be playing the God card is Me. Vote Cunningham, unless you'd like a 400% tax increase next year.

Lehigh County Comm'r: It's Dougherty, McCarthy, Eckhart, Creighton and Jones. All that money will work against Kwitek and McNeill.

Northampton County Council: Just don't vote for Dertinger. He already thinks he's Me.

Allentown Mayor: Oh so some of you are hung up on Tony Phillips because he talked to a woman? Would you be happier if it were a parakeet? Unless you like crime and a debt-riddled city, vote for Tony Phillips. If you can't get over his Facebook interlude, write in Pam Varkony.

Allentown City Council: Vote for the only person who has King Edwin's number, a watchdog over the little lapdogs who think they can solve the Queen City's financial problems by buying less paper clips. Vote Lou Hershman.

Allentown Magistrate: I really liked Walter, but then he was caught with thirteen Pawlowski signs in his yard. Strike One. Then he was caught posing with all the Democratic city candidates. Strike Two. Then he was caught making a $200 contribution to King Edwin. Steerike Three! Vote Manescu.

Easton City Council: Peter Koehler deserves a shot in Easton. So does Dennis Lieb. Vulcano belongs in a wax museum.

Northampton County Judge: Lenny Zito, Craig Dally and Barb Hollenbach look good in black.

Pennsylvania Supreme Court: Let me see, the LV has its own distinguished judge while Western Pa. is touting the thin-skinned sister of a sitting state senator. She pursued libel litigation for 5 years in 2 states against an anonymous blogger ... and still lost. Vote Panella.