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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Killer Geese



On Sunday, when I visited Ron and Sharon Angle for a really good chicken dinner. He's a great storyteller. But I have to tell you my own story about his bodyguards.

They're geese. Nasty, bad-tempered, ugly, loud and very fat. One is named Bernie.

Sure, he has barbed wire and armed sentries. Yes, there are vicious guard dogs on constant patrol. Those can be managed. Not guard geese. They know me and don't like me. I have to run from the car and hope Ron or Sharon answers the door or I'm done.

I was telling Controller Steve Barron about this earlier in the week and he mentioned a relative who also had geese and they were just as mean. Those guys figured out how to twist off the valve caps on car tires, after which they would let the air out.

Diabolical.

I know Canada geese get nutty when they have goslings to protect. But this is some other kind of killer goose. My own experience is that the little bastards go right for the jewels.

In the vidoe above, some poor businessman is murdered by a goose on his way to work..

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Having a tic tic and blueberries as genitals must be a great natural defense against the geeses groin attack!

Bernie O'Hare said...

Go away, Tricia.

Anonymous said...

The best way to cook a goose is in a crock pot.

Anonymous said...

the geese are dems - full of shit, probably sleeper muslims

James said...

The fact that these invasive poop-bags are protected and cannot be killed per federal law is yet another way the government has failed the people with over-regulation. These overpopulated and worthless things are the bamboo of the animal world.

Jim West said...

Braun has resorted to putting these one dimensional predators on their property to ward off these nasty flying rats.(the link is safe)

https://goo.gl/photos/BXcqNf5UYbG7Nsgv8

But is is gone now, my guess is the geese ripped it to shreds and are using it for their nest.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"James," Don't know where you are getting that information bc most species of goose are NOT protected and may be hunted. Some goose has probably tricked you. They are quite evil.

Monkey Momma said...

The bamboo of the animal world!!!! LOLOLOL!!!! That is so damned funny.

My kid's elementary school's playground was essentially declared a disaster area a couple years ago after the geese laid down several layers of poop everywhere the eye could see. The kids had to have indoor recess for a month or more.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Goose droppings do contain bacteria harmful to children, and the winged fiends no doubt targeted that school for extinction.

Anonymous said...

I know that guy!

Anonymous said...

Bernie,
This was a gut buster this morning, butt this afternoons reading has added and you now have two wrapped into one?! This shit slinging stories strike again, and as for the wrinkly old jutbag let it go join the circuses little tent out back with the gloryhole gathers?! Than again bernie she could also join the ticket takers cheeZefry creators?!
RE:publican redd no party affiliatin

Anonymous said...

Canada's most revolting export to the U.S.

Anonymous said...

DEAREST Bernard,

START BY REMOVING ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN YOU ARRIVE AND HEAD TO THE DOOR. THE GEESE WILL SEE THE CAPITOL LETTER "Q" WALKING ACCROSS THE LAWN AND BECOME SCARED AND RUN THE OTHER WAY.

Anonymous said...

"Canada's most revolting export to the U.S."

nah. the Biebs.

Anonymous said...

True. The Biebs music resembles goose poop.

Anonymous said...

Good story. I spent a lot of time on relative's farms. They al had a few geese as sort of watch dogs. People would always hear dogs barking but when the geese whet wild you knew something was up. They are aggressive and will chase and peck at you. If you are not into dogs and are Ok constant shit, they make great property guards.

The Goosing King!

Anonymous said...

Was that guy in the vidieo carring some of the circus snakeoil that he suffered such a brutal attack by goose?! He most likely sold some to one or all of of the gooslings as they were not in pic?!
Hilarious!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

GEESE LIVES MATTER!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
ALL LIVES MATTER!!!