A friend - yes I do have friends - is a fitness fanatic. Like me, he's a former Chippendale. He has been encouraging me for years to make more healthy choices.
I have always found it relatively easy to lose weight, once I get started. I have never been successful in keeping it off. My weight just goes up and down like a yo yo, which is more unhealthy than just being fat.
Anyway, he texted me most recently to ask, in cell phone language, "what's ur goal?"
I plan to become invisible.
Two things persuaded me to start again. First, fellow fat man Frank Pintabone challenged me. Second, and the big reason, is Suki.
Suki is a girl but she's not human. She's my grandson's dog, although she thinks she's human.
I watched her for a few days over the summer. When I have her, she knows she is going to go for lots of walks. But this past summer, I could only go about ten minutes before having to sit down. At one point, she turned and looked at me with utter disgust.
"How could you let yourself go, you fat fuck?" she said to me in dog language.
She refused to eat anything I got her, in protest over my inability to keep up with her.
"I bet you feel a lot better!" is what people say to me now.
I do when I'm done exercising for the day.
I am still unable to walk or run as I used to do all the time. I am fine for a few weeks, and then sciatica grounds me. But the arc trainer at the gym is great. Aside from having a sore ass, I am doing alright. But I miss being outside. Whether it's hot or cold, I love being outdoors. In the gym, you have to contend with people who insist in slamming weights so everyone knows how strong they are, as well as some people who are really loud.
The other day, some woman was literally shouting and yelling the entire time I spent exercising. All five minutes. It was so annoying that, when I was done, I decided to track her down and let her know that all I want from her is silence, and damn little of that.
I found her pretty easily, as you might imagine, and then realized she is mentally challenged.
I'm an asshole.
So as I said, my goal is to disappear.
18 comments:
Fats where its at!!
Ewe's not fat. Ewe's fluffy.
Keep up the good work!
I believe your resistance to fitness training has been like trying to baptize a cat-
Wishing you good health Bernie
You look great! I was notified last night I'd be the best man in a Florida wedding in November. So I have some major catching up to do in terms of disappearing.
Keep it up and keep this blog going !!! One of the best places for local government news is right here !!!
Stay away from SHEETZ, that 2 for one hotdog special always gets me...
regards, RTK
Good for you Bernie.If you lose weight too rapidly the skin begins to sag.
Nothing wrong with being a fat fuck...
Anyone try the "Cookie Cleanse" asking for a friend.
Bernie if your fat and you identify with being skinny does that mean your transfat?
Take a good dump. That should be good for 20 pounds.
Instead of swallowing, spit it out!
It's a constant struggle for me. I've gained and lost and repeat. I sort of gave up however your story has renewed my interest. I might try again. ugh. Anyway good for you I wish you permanent success. Thanks for the goading.
eat plastic bags.
Don't give up anything. Just eat less of everything (i.e. smaller portions. Brisk walking will provide enough exercise for a young man, like you. Small steps make huge victoriess. If you lose a pound a week for a year, you'll be 52 lbs lighter. It's a non-aggressive plan that yields a stunning result. You'll be back in your old Speedo by beach season. At any rate, that's how I lost 70 lbs. I still drink beer and eat ice cream - just less at each session. I feel better (I can see my ...uh..shoes, now) and didn't have to live like a cloistered monk and flagellate myself through the process.Best of luck. You can do it through small decisions each day. Sound familiar? It is.
"you're"
The Bethlehem Y is close to many of your reporting assignments. There's treadmills that are great for a busy person like you. You can read the paper while walking at a slow pace as you build up your stamina and best of all, there are lots of
folks that will give you verbal support there. Wish you well. Nothing like January to set a personal goal.
Hahaha. I am sitting in my car, outside Giant, after having just run into you. I don't know how I have lived not reading your blog on the regular. I will catch up more when I get home. "Tony's former secretary"
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