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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Bill White Assaulted at Bethlehem City Hall

If you're a nice guy like me, government officials will do anything for you. In Easton, whenever I get a ticket, Mayor Panto fixes it immediately. In Allentown, Mayor Pawlowski lets me use his office. You won't believe the things I've said on the phone! In Bethlehem, it's usually a police escort at 75 mph, with sirens wailing. Sometimes I ride in on horseback, like Putin. These are the kind of perks you can expect as a pay-to-play bottom-feeding blogger. Michael Molovinsky, though not quite as nice as I, can never go out to eat without some politician picking up the tab and some groupie throwing herself at him. But neither of us would be stupid enough to post life-size cut-outs of ourselves at Town Hall, as Morning Call columnist Bill White recently did. It scared the shit out me last night when I attended a zoning hearing. I assaulted it. Bethlehem police congratulated me.

I also stole his frickin' Christmas lights.

By the way, he's nothing like what you see in that picture, which is the only reason he likes it. In real life, he's about 5'2" and 400 pounds. I'm a svelte 6'0". The camera makes me look a little heavier.


Anonymous said...

Those newspaper columnists, they're all so one dimensional. I can't blame you for being scared witless and then wanting to flatten Bill White "Lite". I think you ought to complain to Pawlowski about the "Bill" board, he could send one of his building inspectors to paper it up with citations.
Molovinsky can't be too mean, he has his own "groupie" after all. She is a hella lot nicer than your "groupie", that's a guarantee. LOL!!

Anonymous said...

@4:56AM Get your mind out of the gutter. The crotch area isn't even shown - but it isn't surprising that's where your obsession is.

Anonymous said...

Where in the world could you get a permit to build a "Bill" board overnight and get a permit to install a portable generator without secondary containment next a creek? The average joe would get a citation and a cease and desist order. Not in the City Without Ethics.

Anonymous said...


OMG. I never knew what Bill White looked like until that photo. His picture (cutout) is the meanest looking, almost on he lunatic fringe, ugliest looking poor excuse for a human being that I ever saw. The guy in the brown shirt doesn't fare much better.

Bernie O'Hare said...

It was a black shirt, damn it.

Rev. Jesse Jackson said...

I'm offended at the sinister touting of racial privilege his name represents.


Canary_In_Coalmine said...

Due to budget cuts, cardboard Bill White will now be the Morning Call's only presence at municipal government meetings.

Local news coverage will continue to be cribbed off of Molovinsky and O'Hare blogs by writers in India.

Anonymous said...

Bernies got some stiff competition from the Morning Call. Next they might start reporting news instead of kittens and police blotters.

Anonymous said...

Bernie O'Hare cut outs on sale now......

The perfect gift for your County or Municipal Administration! Set one up in the audience to keep them honest and on their toes!

Available at Nazareth PD. HQ. or www.EmperorRonAngle.com

Anonymous said...

you are still the best for a gut busting belly roll laugh¿ The picture tells the tail and the grimiss on your face is like allentowns mayor mc cheese right about now¿ He has his boys in blue scouring for tickets to give to the impoverished his personal propoganda packed in¿

patent pending
How'the palumpadome pannhandling now¿

Peter J.Cochran said...

Bill I lived your sidebar in the paper-Ignoring the things that really matter. WW11- Look Magazine- of a poor bastard in a combat zone . You have the big picture,good for you .Thank you.