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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

This is the 1,200,950th Most Popular Blog in the Universe!

At least that's what Alexa says. That's not a person, but an Internet tool that ranks web pages in order of popularity. LVRamblings missed the top 100,000. I expected that, but it's a little humiliating to learn it's not even in the top million. By the way, most of my readers are highly educated women with children.

Morning Call - #22,951. Readership up 37% in last three months. Laid off reporters are scouring the classifieds for jobs.

Express Times - #50,306. Readership up 41% in last three months. 97% come in under a google search for Joe Owens.

Junk Drawer Blog: #97,295. Readership at Kathy Frederick's humor blog may be up 45% in last three months, but they're all from India and Pakistan. She's obviously writing nuclear secrets in code, disguised as witty little ditties. I'm on to you, Kathy!

Lehigh Valley Ramblings: #1,200,950. My readership up just 3% in the last three months. I want a recount. I should be in the top ten or something, right after Yahoo. Time to start posting some porn.

Afterlife of Betty Cauler: #1,998,152. Readership here is up 4900%(?) in the last three months, but 87.3% of Betty's readers are from Belarus. What's up with that? Another damn Commie.

NewsOverCoffee (Nazareth): #2,884,803. Ross' readership is up 60% in the last three months, which is pretty amazing for a hyper local site. Of course, as Nazareth goes, so goes the world.

LVPoliblog: #6,801,667. Readership here is only up 4% in the last three months. That really stinks, but it's still 1% higher than me, so I'll keep my mouth shut. Way to go, poliploppers!

Allentown Good News: #16,622,038. Readership here is down 20% over last three months. People get tired of reading that everything is wonderful in Allentown when giant shitburgers are the main item on the menu. Maybe the publishers here could post a video of Mayor Ed doing the chicken dance or something. Or art.

Lehigh Valley Conservative: #19,694,282. Readership may down 70% in last three months, but 100% of the readers are from a trailer park right here in the good ol' USA. USA, USA, USA!


Oh no! Heeeee's back! said...

I would never trust anything that has the common name of Alex or The Banker.

~~Alex the Banker (honk, honk)

Bernie O'Hare said...


Oh no! Heeeee's back! said...

This puts an interesting spin on the BNN index, doesn't it?


Anonymous said...

What's your rank within the Lehigh Valley though? We all know there is no world outside the natural borders of the Blue Mountains, South Mountains, Delaware River, and Roadside America.

KD said...

Congratulations!! Stay local, please, and the only way forward is UP! Keep us informed and talking. We need it.

J. SPIKE ROGAN said...

Do you have any readers in Hospitals or Prisions?

And how many readers choose "Freedom Fries" over "French Fries"?

By the way I avoid all of that with onion rings.

What's more americans than soaking a veggie in grease?

C-P-R! C-P-R! C-P-R!

Anonymous said...

Is the trailer you mentioned one of Peg Ferraro's filthy, code-busting eyesores?

She must be the lowlife conservative of which you speak. You are so right.

Carry on with your blogo-fellatio on Grucela and Freeman and the other takers whom you like because they don't treat you like the pariah you are. Everybody needs friends.

Bernie O'Hare said...


Bernie O'Hare said...

"What's your rank within the Lehigh Valley though?"

A listing of "Lehigh Valley" related sites can be found at Alexa. I'm somewhere in the top 20 of the 99 top sites listed.

LVCI said...

Hey my blog's 27,373,411th !

As of May 31, 2009, the Earth's population is estimated to be 6,763,557,000. So I guess that's puts me in the top .4%. My heads beginning to swell up. Maybe now people will pay attention to what I say, eh?

Like mom used to always tell me, "You're not the only tin can on the dump".

Bernie O'Hare said...

LVCI, Let me tell you, it's not easy being in the top 1.2 million. According to Alexa, there are a whopping 430,000 sites linking to you, so you have that going for you. I know I'm constantly looking for things I can plagiarize from you. At least you're not a Commie like Betty.

Anonymous said...

I think you deserve to be in the top 1,000,000, at least. Blogs like this one are leading the way for media in the 21st Century. News organizations which cannot adapt need to get out of the way. That is why I am saying NO MORE BAILOUTS FOR NEWSPAPERS. I hear Senator Casey might be tring to bailout the Philadelphia Inquirer with federal money. Is that true? Does anyone know? Check out the blog: bailoutwatchpa.blogspot.com.

Keep up the good work, Lehigh Valley Ramblings.

Anonymous said...

When he can stop the slipping dentures long enough to be understood more clearly, Casey is saying that he wants to preserve a reliable endorsement.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the best entertainments blogs.

Dennis Kuhns said...

Alexa says the Lehigh Valley Ramblings blog has 1-month average traffic of 1,072,341, while The Villas' Lehigh Valley Somebody blog (http://bloggingdottie.blogspot.com/) has a 1-month average traffic of 10,821,188. Yikes!

Bernie O'Hare said...

According to Alexa, the Villa blog is currently 19,923,421. Readership is down 90% ovr the last three months.

Sounds about right.