I actually have two entries. I'm posting the first now, and will post another tomorrow.
I get two shots because my first entry is not technically a parody. It concerns former Northampton County Exec Glenn Reibman, and it's actually true!
Last year, employees were going on their third year without a contract. Taxes had increased seventy percent in just two years. One top aide spent time in federal prison for bribery, and another resigned in disgrace when it was learned he was arranging wife-swapping adventures on county time. Employees were becoming ill from all the dust and fiberglass particles coming from the construction of a new courthouse, and project management was delegated to the judges.
So what the hell was Glenn Reibman doing?
Are you sure you want to know?
Whereas, Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong) is an advanced exercise and meditation practice system of mind and body based on ancient wisdom; and
Whereas, Falun Dafa was introduced to the public in 1992. Falun Dafa is taught free of charge and is practiced in over sixty countries by about 100 million people in Asia, Africa, Australia, Europe, North America and South America; and
Whereas, Falun Dafa has helped people around the world improve their health, calm their minds, uplift their spirits, and deepen their understanding of life and humanity. It has also inspired people from all walk of life to turn away from drugs, alcohol, violence, and other harmful habits toward a more harmonious life; and
Whereas, people are learning the practice and purifying their heats, energizing their bodies, and breaking old addictions and bad habits. Their families are living more in peace, and communities are embracing virtue; and
Whereas, since its introduction in Northampton County in 2002, practitioners have continued sharing Falun Dafa's gentle exercises and teachings of truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance.
Now, Therefore, Be It Resolved, that I, Glenn F. Reibman, County Executive of the County of Northampton, on behalf of the residents of Northampton County, do hereby proclaim the week of
June 6, 2005 - June 12, 2005
Northampton County Falun Dafa Week
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the County of Northampton to be affixed this 6th day of June, 2005.
Glenn F. Reibman
Truth is always stranger than fiction.