Williams Township Residents Organize to Oppose Landfill Expansion

On Saturday, I told you about vegan scrapple. I'm convinced that, and all other forms of this porkie puddin', are all part of a some twisted Pennsylvania Dutch attempt at mind control against outlanders.

Fortunately, I never fell for their fiendish plot.

Chrin Landfill in Williams Township is full of that toxic waste. Even seagulls and sewer rats avoid it. Those that make the mistake of taking a nibble either die instantly or soon start walking around, muttering "Say now!" or "Kissin’ wears out, cookin' don’t.”

But landfills do. They get full, and the Chrin boys would like to expand.

As you know from a previous post, they've dumped $230,350 in legal bribes (campaign contributions) on state office candidates since 2000. Interestingly, not a dime of that money has gone to state rep. Bob Freeman, whose district includes that dump. During much of this same time, the Chrin boys have been meeting in the back rooms with William Township officials and seagulls, according to Morning Call columnist Bill White.

Williams Township residents have formed a grass roots group, The Committee to Save Williams Township. But their web page is called DumpRage for some reason. It makes me think of Rambo on the toilet, not landfills. But that's me.

Anyway, here's what they say. "[W]e deal with the legacy of hazardous waste generated from a national recognized Superfund site. Now, Chrin Companies has petitioned the locally elected supervisors to change township zoning and permit the expansion of the landfill.

The proposal is bad for people, bad for the environment, bad for quality of life and bad for property values!"

The web site also contains petition downloads for residents in either Williams Township, the Easton Area School District or Wilson Area School District. The email address for this group is info@dumprage.org.

Cunningham Proposes Safe Streets Program: Is Allentown Listening?

He could avoid it. He could say, "It's not my problem." But it really is. Rampant crime in Lehigh Valley cities, and especially Allentown, is everyone's problem. It affects us all.

In today's State of the County address, which you can read in its entirety below, Lehigh County Executive Don Cunningham takes direct aim at our cities' most immediate problem - a crime problem so severe that most people won't set foot in Allentown after sunset.

Like a true leader, Cunningham faces this problem head on, while others sit on their hands. Allentown Mayor Pawlowski's solution to Allentown's crime problem? Fine dining. Allentown Brew Works and Johnny Mañana's (that's with a ñ, damn it!) may be great places to eat, but they don't stop crime. On the day of Pawlowski's Fiesta fuñdraiser, four people were shot. One of them died. See what I mean?

While Pawlowski and other apologists pretend there's no problem, Cunningham has actually proposed a solution for Lehigh County's highest crime areas - community policing. He made this bold announcement during today's "State of the County Address."

"Crime costs Lehigh County taxpayers about $1.1 million per week, or 65 cents on every tax dollars, and, under Pennsylvania’s system, it’s all spent on crime and criminals after a crime occurs," said Cunningham. "We want that to change."

His "Safe Streets" program establishes a $1 million fund to pay for half of the cost of designated community police officers in municipalities who submit a community policing plan for a particular neighborhood or downtown area. Police officers under this initiative would have to work most shifts during the high crime hours of 3:00 to 11:00 PM, and patrol on bicycle or on foot, based out of a community substation.

"Community policing works," said Cunningham. "It worked in New York City in the 1990’s, and it worked in Bethlehem in 2000. The presence of a cadre of community police officers on foot and on bicycles will do more than another office building to bring people back downtown."

In addition, Cunningham has proposed Pennsylvania’s first regional crime data center. This center will consolidate all police operations and crime data in the Lehigh Valley. Any incident report or information on a perpetrator or a crime would instantly flow from the various police departments into one central repository where county crime analysts would help local police departments identify patterns, solve crime and take criminals off our streets.

The regional crime data center builds on the concept of Lehigh County’s newly-opened central booking facility, housed in the Lehigh County Prison. This new booking system relieves a burden on officers, and gets them back on the street, where they can keep people secure.

Cunningham also noted that Lehigh County is underway on its new 911 Communication Center. located next to the Government Center. That includes a GPS system to track cell phone calls and a full reverse 911 capability to blast information out to emergency responders in the event of an emergency.

I hope Mayor Pawlowski was taking notes.

Update: Both The Express Times and Morning Call have detailed reports about Cunningham's crime proposal.

LC Exec Don Cunningham: Annual State of the County Address

Lehigh County Executive Don Cunningham gave his "State of the County" address today in Center Valley. Here's the complete address.

It is appropriate that we pause at least once a year to put a larger framework around the day to day, to reflect and to think about the community that we are and the community we hope to be.

We’ve been blessed in Lehigh County and the Lehigh Valley. Through our 196 years as a county and even more than that as a settled region, we have been given great assets – the natural resources of rivers and streams, fertile soil for farms, coal, iron ore, limestone, slate and shale for the development of great industries and a beautiful valley nestled between the protective cover of two mountains. To these assets flocked a group of diverse people from across the globe, all armed with a strong work ethic, a will to survive and to prosper and the desire to create a better life for themselves and their children.

We are all either the descendants of those people or we are the new immigrants, or transplants, who have come to this Valley from somewhere else to seek those same things: opportunity, community, security and happiness. These are the essential elements of any democratic, free society. And, they should be the foundation upon which we build our plans.

For today, we offer a State of the County – not a state of Lehigh County government. The state of Lehigh County, and the Lehigh Valley, is strong. It is all of our jobs, collectively, to keep it that way.

The plans and ideas that we offer in government should represent a cohesive blueprint that reflects the focus of all our community, the private sector, the academic, the non-profit and the neighborhoods. For, there are very few problems that government can solve on its own but there are even fewer that can’t be solved when all the forces of a free society are involved.

In Lehigh County we keep a simple focus. It’s a three point plan: 1) fiscal responsibility, 2) positive growth and development, and 3) improving quality of life. We aim to achieve this plan through a vigorous focus on planning and working regionally, driving cooperation across municipal boundaries, county boundaries and between the public and private sectors.

Today, that’s more important than ever. We are a rapidly changing Lehigh Valley. We are Pennsylvania’s fastest growing region – the state’s third largest metropolitan area. We created jobs last year at a pace faster than any other region in Pennsylvania – and, at a pace 2.2 percent more than the year before. The rest of the state added jobs at just half that rate, or 1.1 percent.

During the past five years, 27,000 jobs have been added. The Lehigh Valley has not seen this kind of rapid and sustained population and job growth since the Industrial Revolution and the height of American immigration. The average rate of unemployment for last year was 4.2 percent. In fact, December of 2007 marked the 33rd straight month of unemployment below 5 percent in the Lehigh Valley. Most economists consider full employment below five percent.

To fuel that growth we’ve lost farmlands at an alarming rate. The Planning Commission projects that this pace will result in more than half of the Lehigh Valley becoming urban by 2030. About four to five square miles of previously undeveloped land is developed each year.

And, we’ve seen the effects of commuters living here and drawing higher wages in New Jersey, New York or Philadelphia. Housing prices have skyrocketed in recent years leading to a Lehigh Valley inflation rate of 6.5 percent last year. The national rate for the same period was 2.8 percent. That translates to workers needing raises of 6.5 percent to avoid becoming poorer as prices rise on everything from food, shelter, heating and gasoline.

All of this makes this a historic time of change for the Lehigh Valley. And, a critical time for all of us to think long-term about the Lehigh Valley we have been, who we are and what we want to become. If we wish to keep our identity, our strong sense of community and our quality of life, we need to act accordingly today.

The first thing we need to do in county government is to deliver high quality services at a good price. With the inflationary pressures on our residents and our businesses, it’s imperative that we keep the cost of government in check and provide stable tax rates. Good tax policy comes from good spending policy. If you control spending, in most cases, tax rates will take care of themselves and remain stable.

That’s why we’ve held spending increases in our general fund budget to an average of only three percent a year over two years, well below the area’s rate of inflation. And, that’s why for three years now there’s been tax stability, not tax increases. And, we project that we can maintain our tax rate of 10.25 mills until 2011 as part of our five year financial plan. Again, this is even more important at a time when so many other costs are rising.

At the same time, we’ve increased our cash reserves up to $20 million, a growth of $1.5 million from last year. And, under the watchful and experienced eyes of Tom Muller, our Director of Administration, and Brian Kahler, our Budget Director, we will continue to keep costs down and pay attention to the little things to avoid big problems. In order to keep our tax rate level into the next decade, however, we have to resist the urge to either spend away or rebate away those reserves. It’s critical that ample reserves be maintained to weather any uncertain times that may lie ahead. There is no wise and frugal family in Lehigh County that would spend its life savings and keep nothing on hand for lean times.

We have kept our taxes down by finding ways to reduce expenses. We started by cutting more than $20 million from the cost of the proposed Lehigh County Courthouse renovation and expansion project, while not reducing the amount of new space. We then partnered with our workforce and union leaders and have saved $8.5 million on health care costs in 2007 and 2008. This year, we cut $267,000 on property and casualty insurance while improving coverage through competition. We’ve used internet auctions and other aggressive techniques to bid professional services contracts and to use competition to wring out excess cost.

Last year, we implemented a two-year military tax rebate. Any member of the United States armed forces called to serve military operations for six months or more is eligible for a full rebate of the 2007 and 2008 county property taxes on their home. In addition, last year we began an installment plan that lets Lehigh County residents for the first time pay their taxes in three installments, easing the burden of a large one-time payment.

The improved fiscal condition of Lehigh County was recognized last year when Moody’s bond rating service, in the face of a spiraling credit crisis in the nation, upgraded our bond rating to Double A-2, recognizing continually-improving fiscal management.

Putting our fiscal house in order allows us to attack what I believe are the critical needs and challenges of our county. They are three areas: 1) fixing what’s broken, 2) making our streets safe, and 3) maintaining our quality of life.

I don’t have time today to address them all so I will focus on some new proposals to help keep our streets safe. There is no greater purpose of government than to provide a safe community. Public safety or, at the national level, national security, is the primary function of any government. If you can’t maintain a safe community little else matters. Public safety has long been the exclusive responsibility of local and state government in Pennsylvania. For the most part, counties are responsible for the crime, and the criminals, after it occurs. The district attorney needs to prosecute, the public defenders provide for the right of adequate defense, the courts need to adjudicate and punish and many others work in the area of parole, probation, incarceration, rehabilitation and work release.

In fact, about 65 cents of every Lehigh County tax dollar is spent on the back end of crime. It is by far the biggest cost in our budget, amounting to $1.1 million a week or $60 million a year. And, again, with the exceptions of some of the District Attorney’s work, it all goes to handling the crime and the criminal after it occurs. That simply doesn’t make sense.

We have a problem with crime in this county. And, yes, it’s based in Allentown, but it is the problem of everyone in this county and this valley. There are city streets that only a generation ago served as the retail and community center of this entire region where, today, many are afraid to go. We have street gangs and punk criminals owning the very neighborhoods that not long ago were home to hard-working, law-abiding residents who swept their sidewalks every morning. It’s not a question of being scared; we need to be mad. It doesn’t matter if it’s not your city; those criminals have stolen a part of our Valley, a part of our county seat, our largest and, once, greatest city. And, of course, crime knows no boundaries. The foothold may be in a neighborhood in Allentown, but the crime will go where the market is – to Whitehall, Salisbury, Fountain Hill and West Bethlehem. Allentown must be returned to its past glory and the only way that will happen in full is if the streets are safer once again.

So, today, I propose a Safe Streets Initiative that will bring the full county government more in to the fight with our District Attorney and the local police. And it begins with making money available to put community police on the streets of the county where they are most needed.

Under this proposal, Lehigh County will provide 50 percent of the cost of a designated community police officer for three years. That officer would have to be assigned to a neighborhood or downtown substation and patrol using a bicycle or on foot. At least half of the officer’s shifts would need to be worked in the 3 to 11 pm timeframe. The officer could not be assigned to general patrol duty or given a patrol car.

County governments have not done this before. But, we have the resources and our cities and towns need our help. I will ask the Commissioners to set aside at least $1 million in a special public safety fund to be dispensed during a three-year period. The $1 million should allow for the hiring of 7 to 10 community police officers. The grants would be competitive. Application would be voluntary by municipality but application would require the submission of a community policing plan for a particular neighborhood or downtown. Preference would be given to municipalities with downtown-type retail districts and to areas showing a greater need to combat crime based upon crime data.

Community policing works. It worked in New York City in the 1990s and in Bethlehem in 2000. The presence of a cadre of community police officers on bicycles and foot patrol will do more than another office building to bring people back downtown and to feel safe in all areas of our county. And, there’s no better way we can help our cities and towns than to give them the resources to put community police on the streets.

In addition, we will continue to partner with District Attorney Jim Martin and our police chiefs from the 17 police departments and, hopefully, the police departments in Northampton County to create a Regional Crime Data Center. It would be the first of its kind in Pennsylvania.

The feasibility study commissioned by both counties last year is complete and with the commitment of the counties to provide operational funding we can proceed this year. Lehigh County we will make that commitment. We can’t afford not to.

This center would functionally consolidate all of the police operations and crime data in the Lehigh Valley. This will allow us to overcome the problems of so many local governments in fighting the bad guys. Any incident report or information on a perpetrator or a crime would instantly flow from the various police departments into one central repository where county crime analysts would help local police departments identify patterns, solve crime and take criminals off our streets. After a while, the criminals will get the message: the Lehigh Valley is not a good place for the crime business.

This regional crime fighting concept would build on the central booking operation that DA Jim Martin put into operation this year with $250,000 in support from the county. All bookings in Lehigh County are now handled centrally at the Lehigh County prison by county personnel, not only creating a uniformed system of booking but, more importantly, getting officers back on the street to fight crime instead of spending hours doing paperwork.

In addition, construction begins this year on an upgraded 9-1-1 Communication Center in a new location next to the Government Center. The center will have a reverse 9-1-1 system that utilizes high speed lines to contact residents and emergency responders in the event of an emergency. The center also will now have complete GPS tracking of emergency calls from cell phones.

Finally, this year, we are embarking on a long overdue project to rebuild and expand the Men’s Corrections Center in Salisbury Township, while implementing a new re-entry management program focused on rehabilitating non-violent offenders.

Those are a few of the more than $100 million in capital projects that we’re engaged in right now. When we cut $20 million from the cost of the courthouse project, we made clear it was because the county had long-ignored capital needs beyond just one building that was left to leak for 40 years.

We have put more than $10 million of county money into replacing and repairing closed and damaged bridges, including the Linden Street Bridge in Allentown, Lyon Valley Bridge, Klines Pedestrian Bridge, Coplay/ Northampton Bridge and three other smaller bridges.

In the area of human services, which constitutes half of our budget, we are developing the Lehigh Valley Autism Resource Community Hub, or ARCH, a first of its kind one-stop shopping for services for the parents of children with autism, along with a “Safe House” for the Children and Youth office, which will provide a home-like environment for children who are awaiting placement.

In the area of quality of life, we are just completing the Lehigh County owned Coca Cola Park baseball stadium. Next month, the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs will take the field for the first time ever in an exhibition game with the Philadelphia Phillies, soon followed by opening day in April.

A complete resurfacing of the track at our world class Velodrome also will be completed in time for race season 2008.

And, engineering, design and development continue on the nearly $3 million project to open up new passive nature trails at the Trexler Nature Preserve park development project and open up greater use of those 1,100 acres.

And, as the Lehigh Valley grows, it’s imperative that we act now to preserve farmland and open space across Lehigh County. We’ve done that at a record setting pace. Lehigh County has preserved 220 farms, covering 18,010 acres. Last year, we added an additional 1,429 preserved acres. Lehigh County now ranks third in the state in number of farms preserved. Only Lancaster and Berks counties have preserved more.

This year’s budget shifts $12 million from reserve funds to our Green Futures program in order to move quickly and take advantage of opportunities before they disappear.

In conclusion, I believe the best role of elected leadership is to put forward an agenda and a blueprint that focuses on ensuring that our future is even brighter than our past. Hopefully, there is concurrence around that agenda. For democratic government, if run correctly, is merely a reflection, or a representation, of the needs, challenges and priorities of the people and organizations of a community during a period of time.

For, we need to realize that government cannot solve every problem nor should it try -- we have not the resources, nor the ability to do that. Therefore, as with any entity that has limited resources, it’s imperative that we bring discipline, focus and prioritization to what we do. And, our focus should be to create opportunity, community, security and, ultimately, happiness.

We are living through a period of tremendous change in our county and the Lehigh Valley. Our business and private leaders, along with our elected leaders, have served us well in the last decades as the Lehigh Valley economy has transitioned from manufacturing to that of a new economy. We’ve created regional organizations to develop our economy and grow our businesses and promote our area. That work must be continued. And, there is more work – new work – now, that needs to be done

Thank you for what you continue to do to make Lehigh County and the Lehigh Valley a unique and special place to live.

Allentown Councilor Donovan Has a Blog

When Jenn Mann lackey and LANTA board member Pete Schweyer was pandering votes for Allentown's city council, he started a campaign blog. In his very first post, he explained, "This E-Public Forum is an intrigal [sic] part of my desire to receive feedback directly from you the voters about how we can move Allentown foward [sic]."

It was all a crock.

Now that he's been elected, his "desire to receive feedback directly from you the voter," has vanished.

That's in vast contrast to one of his fellow Democrats, Michael Donovan, whose Inclusion blog appeared in the Allentown blogosphere after his election. He's the only Lehigh Valley legislator to take the risk of trying to learn what people actually think about different issues.

I first met Michael at the "Allentown Speak Out Forum" just two weeks ago. His very presence hinted to me that he is interested in different points of view.

His blog removes all doubt. From Allentown's serious crime problem to its rose garden, Donovan is interested in making informed decisions and actively seeks input. His Allentown Calendar, an innovative and informative use of the Internet, is a public service that many Lehigh Valley municipalities do on a lesser scale on their own web sites.

In the real world, Michael is a college professor. Frankly, I don't know where he finds the time to teach, govern, blog and raise a family.

I'll be happy to refer his wife to a few good divorce lawyers.

That's one difference between Mike and other bloggers. No wisecracks. He's big on "respect" and "civility," very different from most Donovans I know. He explained a bit of his philosophy over the weekend. "I am in the public sphere now. Blogs are a good way to hear from people around the region, and I will interact. Nonetheless, I will not change my professional perspective about conversation, civil dialogue, and mutual respect. Solutions to problems are more likely to occur using these approaches. Somehow, deep within me, it feels the right thing to do."

Michael, thank you for your courage in being an elected official who is actually willing to interact within the blogosphere. For that alone, I deeply respect you. But I have to warn you, bucko, that I'm a miserable bastard. Since my back went out, I'm a miserable bastard on drugs.

Good luck to you, Michael. Go n-eiri an bothar leat. (For those of you in "English only" Allentown, that's "May the road rise to meet you.")

Vegan Scrapple: It's What's for Dinner!

I once had breakfast with Morning Call comments editor Glenn Kranzley.

Really!

What I remember most about that encounter is that he was disappointed as hell that Perkins serves no scrapple, "the Pennsylvania treat." For the uninitiated, it's a greyish square combination of pork skin, heart, liver, brains and other delicious innards - fried in lard.

Mmm Mmm Good!

I once served a slice to my dog, who died later that day. Right before he went to doggie heaven, he sadly looked at me, and said, "Outen the light."

According to Valley Dragon, you can get vegan scrapple if you feel like driving to Ardmore.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

LáZorro, Latino Border Fox, Lashes Out at Pawlowski

He calls himself LáZorro (with an á, damn it!).

He's the Latino Border Fox. Last night, he crashed through my window and into my estate, slicing gigatic Zs over all of my servants. When he finally reached me, he pinned this essay to my chest, and demanded that I publish it today ... or he'll return with illegal immigrants!!! ¿Que no?

It's his reaction to yesterday's post about Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski, who takes free meals from at least one publicly subsidized restaurant, while stiffing their servers.

LáZorro (with an á, damn it!) even wrote it in English!

The Mayor’s snub of two waitresses is a perfect metaphor for his snub of the entire community who put him in office. That includes us - the Latino community. He promised his administration would diversify - from its police force to its public services - to reflect the community. But he continues to appoint the same people who have failed to solve Allentown's problems. When we have taken him to task, his response is “I cannot find anyone”.

When he enlisted my help - very early in his tenure - I sent him a list of names. But he instead installed political lackeys. He has mistreated even those closest to him during his campaign. His “unnamed” Latino lawyer buddy, who went to bat for him throughout the campaign, was passed over as solicitor. And how about his buddy Fred Bañuelos (that’s with an ñ, damn it!). He worked with him for years with the Alliance for Building Communities, but the mayor threw him under a LANTA bus, like a professional bowler.

I won’t even go into how he lobbed the whole community under the bus, no pun intended (it is intended actually), when he would not speak up for them or do anything about LANTA’s disruption of necessary bus services. Of course, he flip-flopped when the tide turned after a steady barrage of criticism (with a little help from your friends, ;-). Pawlowski is a legend in his and his contractor buddies' minds, but is no hero to Allentown's working poor. In the words of the young girl in distress in the Latin series El Chapulin Colorado, “Y ahora quien podra ayudarnos” or “Now who will come to our rescue...”
Who will come to Allentown’s rescue when the next election comes around? What Democrat has the Chutzpah to take on the Butz’ of the world who have gained so much with their wonderboy?

Who is this masked man? LáZorro (with an á, damn it!) is also known as Lázaro Fuentes, a venture capitalist who chairs the Lehigh Valley Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, Pennsylvania's largest Hispanic organization. It includes 318 businesses that employ over 2,550 people with over 12,500 family and extended family members right here in the Lehigh Valley.

Norco Council Conducts Lengthy Meeting About ... Windows

Last night's lengthy meeting of Northampton County Council was worse than root canal. I've been to plenty of long meetings, and last night's was really just a shade over two hours. But most of it was devoted to a very exhaustive power point presentation of every step taken so far to replace windows at Gracedale. Every time it rains, residents and workers get soaked. Leaking windows have been a problem there for years.

A year ago, a Cowan Associates engineer told Northampton County Council it would cost the county $2.7 million to fix that problem, and that it would take at least three years. They were going to install a test window - throw grenades at it and stuff like that to see how it held up - and then work away, taking breaks every winter.

A year has gone by, and boy it's been a blur of activity for those overworked engineers.

November 29, 2007 - Test window carefully installed and Rev. Mike Dowd blesses it with holy water.

November 30, 2007 to January 10, 2008 - Engineers offer prayers and a human sacrifice, which explains council member John Cusick's strange absence from last night's council meeting.

January 11, 2008: Test window sprayed with garden hose. Water seeps in through bottom. Ron Angle is asked to blow on window, and it flies right through the building, severely wounding Wayne Grube.

January 12-14, 2008: Engineers unsuccessfully scour Northampton County for virgin sacrifice. They settle on a live chicken.

January 15, 2008: Test window repaired by extremely complicated procedure known as "caulking."

January 22, 2008: Gracedale bedpans, mostly full, thrown against test window. This time, water seeps in through top and sides.

January 23, 2008 - February 4, 2008: Engineers scour Lehigh County for a virgin. Mayor Pawlowski recommends Michael Molovinsky, forgetting Molovinsky's Transylvanian heritage. No wooden stakes can be found in the LV. All have been used for development and billboards.

February 4, 2008: The complicated "caulking" procedure is repeated along top and sides of test window by international experts.

February 5, 2008: Window retested with John Stoffa tears from eye dropper, and still leaks. Engineers decide to pass the window anyway, concluding all windows leak. The hell with it!

As windows are replaced in residents' rooms, engineers warn something will have to be done about them. County officials have yet to determine whether they should be moved to the prison or just shot.

At the merciful conclusion of last night's meeting, the usually silent John Stoffa suddenly raised one of his gigantic arms in the air, nearly putting it through the ceiling. Reporters had long since deserted council chambers, and several of the spectators had committed suicide.

But Stoffa had an important announcement. Today marks the thirtieth year that council clerk Frank Flisser has served the county. Council members and executives have come and gone, but Frank has remained a steadying influence in Northampton County. He has always been accessible, hard-working and, most important of all, has the most integrity of any public servant I've ever seen.

When he retires, Frank plans to model underwear.

Hizzoner Pawlowski Stiffs Two Waitresses for Four Meals

Last week, I told you that Allentown Mayor Pawlowski had stiffed one of his servers at a local eatery. Management treated him to a free meal, and he walked off into the sunset without leaving a dime for the hired help. Hizzoñer's croñies rushed to his defeñse.

Julie: "If you have some facts bring them forward. If not, this is a new low for you Bernie."

Anon: "I think you are making this all up. Prove otherwise."

Anon: "This is the worst excuse for journalism ever."

Hayshaker: "It's called 'creative writing.'"

Want more facts? Just remember, you asked for them.

On January 18, Pawlowski and a female companion visited Johnny Mañana's (that's with a ñ, damn it!) for a sit-down din din. Steak and chicken fajitas was the order. Their server asked the manager how they should be billed, and she was told to comp them. After giving Mayor Ed the good news, she turned her back for a minute, and - poof! - they were out the door.

No tip.

My blog about Mayor Ed's failure was published on January 29. Two days later, Hizzoner returned to the scene of the crime. Was he there to tip the waitress he had overlooked? Nah. According to a breathless report by a local elitist, "Mayor Pawlowski was hosting a wonderful event at the new Johnny Mananas restaurant. At the event were many of the leaders of the downtown renaissance."

Bullshit.

It was a campaign fundraiser. According to QCD (which has become a terrific Allentown blog), Pawlowski returned to Johnny Mañana's (that's with a ñ, damn it!) on the 31st, not to tip his waitress, but for his Fiesta fuñdraiser. And I'll bet the "leaders of the downtown renaissance" were there in force. This is the "pay to play" crowd. But I call them parasites, sucking the lifeblood out of Allentown for every tax break and public handout they can get.

They were there for an evening of legal bribery. It cost $75 just to get in the door, and $5,000 for a golden taco.

And as the violins played, the Queen City burned. That day and evening, four people were shot. One of them died.

Pawlowski's waitress for this joyous evening? The very waitress he had "forgotten" to tip before. She tells me this time, the affair was a banquet style event. She waited on three different tables, including his. It was mostly just driñks. But there was food, too, and once again, she was stiffed.

The server in question is a woman named Ashley. I warned her that naming her might get her in trouble. Her response? "What's he going to do, get me fired?" I told her that's a distinct possibility, and she countered, "Oh well, these things happen."

She also informs me that there's actually another waitress at Johnny Mañana's (that's with a ñ, damn it!), who has waited on hizzoner twice. Both meals were comped. He stiffed her, too.

Does he honestly think their reward is the joy of catering to his every whim?

That's two waitresses who have been snubbed four times. And what's the dillyo with all these free meals? If I've stumbled upon four very recent examples, is it possible this is a pattern with this dude? Does this happen at the Allentown Brew Works, too? Does he stiff his servers there as well? Pawlowski claims he ran for mayor because he wanted to put "integrity back into the process." With all those free meals, it looks like quite the opposite.

I called the mayor's office like a good little blogger on Wednesday morning. I left a detailed message with his minister of propaganda. No answer. Maybe I should have slipped him an Arby's coupon.

Ashley and her fellow waitress are learning the hard way what many Hamilton Street merchants and Zee Weikel already know all too well - Pawlowski has no regard for Allentown's working poor.

When Hamilton Street merchants like Jennie Chen lost a lot of her business after LANTA routing changes, he spurned her requests for a meeting. Now, two Hamilton Street businesses that actually pay taxes, will soon be gone.

Seventy-five year old like Zee Weikel was actually mugged outside her apartment last year. And how does Mayor Ed react? He sics his code enforcement dogs on her when she dares to conduct a yard sale.

I'd like to know what the hell they teach at that Bible College he claims to have attended. Where's the love?

Russ Flanagan: RIP

I'm deeply saddened to learn that Express Times Reporter Russ Flanagan, who has covered the crime beat at the courthouse for the past five years, died suddenly, apparently on Tuesday morning.

To give you some perspective on the type of fellow Russ was, his competitor at The Morning Call - Tyra Braden - is the person most saddened by this tragic loss at the courthouse. Another testament to the kind of person he was comes from courthouse custodians, who tell me Russ always took the time to talk to them.

This is a tragic blow to The Express Times, and to the rest of us as well.

The Border Fox: Why Armagh O'Hares Avoid Their Irish Roots

Not long ago, I injured my lower back when some little brat from west end Allentown pushed me over during a basketball game. I rested, took lots of drugs and seemed to be getting better. But this past weekend, I suffered a relapse, making it difficult even to sit at my computer.

On the bright side, I get to take more drugs. So instead of pissing all of you off with my usual political rants, I thought I'd tell you a little story today about my family and why we don't look too closely at our Irish roots.

Black Irish. That's what I am, bippy. Instead of the usual freckle-faced redhead, I'm dark and swarthy. Victorian English were sure these physical differences made us inferior, and who am I to argue? Some say we're the progeny of those lucky few members of the Spanish Armada whose brains weren't crushed in by the Irish themselves. Others claim we're actually one of the ten lost tribes of Israel.

My family is originally from Newtownhamilton in County Armagh, Northern Ireland. I could never get a straight answer, but I'm pretty sure we were kicked out for making bad whiskey. In fact, we had to slip into the US over the Canadian border. Imagine that! We were illegals at a time when they'd let anyone in the country.

Ever hear of shanty Irish? We make them look like nobility.

We eventually snuck into Schuylkill County. My great uncle had a beautiful dynamite plant, but blew half of New Ringold off the face of earth when some idiot (another O'Hare, of course) had the brilliant idea of running a phone line in at a time in our history when a lot of sparks flew off those wires. So much for technology. That was nearly the end of the phone line and any other line for the Armagh O'Hares here in America.

Most O'Hares became nohares, going off like Roman (or should I say Irish?) candles because of all the bad whiskey that fueled their bodies.

One of these skyrocketing nohares was my great-uncle Felix, known as the anthracite bard. I can't find a damn thing he's written, but my packrat brother probably has something in some drawer somewhere.

My grandfather (Bernard V.) and his uncle (Bernard H.) survived. Neither ever went to college, yet both somehow became lawyers. They both ran for political office many times, from DA to Congress. They lost every time. We were like the Orloskis of the coal regions.

Although a staunch Irish Catholic, and a Democrat to boot, Bernard H. denounced the violence used by the Molly Maguires. He preferred the Mahatma Ghandi approach. The Maguires responded to his message of peace and love by burning down his house three times. To make sure he understood, they once beat him to within an inch of his life.

I adored my grandfather. My parents used to dump me on him for a month at a time because I was always running away from home to become a mountain man and would wake up neighbors at 4 AM to recruit them in my adventures.

My pop pop always wore a three piece suit. I think he slept in the damn thing. He would give me pocket watches he made as a hobby and, for some reason, also gave me lots of American flags. He walked everywhere, and would even let me walk to his office with him. But he was very sickly. Every corner, he'd have me stop and wait for a minute or so while he'd get his "shot." He had lots of doctors. He'd come out, smile, and say, "I feel much better now." Not my grandmother. She'd be angry about all that medication my grandfather needed.

My dad actually got to go to college, but the war put an end to that. Although he never graduated, he was allowed to go to law school and became a lawyer. He also married a nurse, a wise choice for any O'Hare. He's the only one of us who ever managed to get elected to anything, but only lasted four years in office.

That's pretty much the high point for our branch of the O'Hare clan in the United States. After my father, grandfather and great uncles passed on, so did our glory. It's been pretty much downhill since. My sisters are OK, but shed that surname at their earliest opportunity. Those of us who've kept it have done it no favors.

Growing up, my cousins were well known to the local constabulary. I think they're better now. Just don't let either one of them near a bottle of glue.

Me? In the military, I once was responsible for a shot from a self-propelled howitzer that destroyed a recently vacated outhouse from ten miles away. Have you ever seen shit fly ten miles? I have. You learn things like that in the army. Our entire unit was expelled from Fort Bragg after that little incident, although they could never pin it on me. I was eventually begged to leave the military altogether, which explains why we're still in Iraq.

I also blew up three labs at Baker Chemical while attending college. Before I left for law school, I persuaded my fellow lab techs to unionize. Now, as most of you know, I'm an alcoholic ex-lawyer with a fragile grip on sanity. Worse, I'm an impoverished blogger, the only person with less credibility than a radio talk show host.

My brother? He's much worse than me - he deserted the seminary to become a frickin' born again Christian who reads the bible every day and goes to church twice a week. He's even converted his dogs. You oughta' hear them howl "Amazing Grace."

My son? He's getting a Ph.D. from PSU in chemistry, and has already blown up his lab once, and in a brand new building, too. He's taken me on a tour to show me where projectiles lodged themselves firmly in the ceiling. I'm very proud of him.

My daughter? She's already blowing things up in the 82d Airborne. I think she'll go far and will probably be promoted to the 81st Airborne one day.

We're a mess.

Now most people like to be able to say they are great great great grandsons of Henry VIII or Moses or something, but I'll never look for my ancestors. I already know we're nutz. What's worse, I know far too much about my distant cousins in County Armagh.

One of them - Dessie O'Hare - is called the "Border Fox" because of his ability to elude capture at the police checkpoints between Southern and Northern Ireland. That's one hell of a nickname.

According to some, his "only 'crime', if 'crime' it was, was to be an active Republican." Of course, he's no Bush Republican, but is - 'er was - an active member of the Irish Republican Army.

Others have a different view, claiming he's killed twenty-six people and mutilated others. He became known as Ireland's most dangerous terrorist. Imagine the competition for that title! When he was finally captured, he was riddled with eight bullets, but somehow survived.

It's hard to kill an Armagh O'Hare. Ask Jim Hickey.

Dessie was convicted of something (not homicide) by one of those "special" criminal courts, packed with English judges and no juries.

I'm a miserable bastard. But my distant cousin Dessie makes me look like a choirboy. Believe it or not, he's been released, and is living at an unknown location. Not here. He's now a student of anthropology, psychology, metaphysics, yoga and tai-chi, and his sign is Scorpio. He's currently looking for Mrs. Right, preferably one with an Uzi. His favorite movie is The Molly Maguires.

If I explore much more of my family history, I'm going to be sitting next to some smiling Mullah in Guantanamo Bay, reading the Koran.

MC Crime Reporter Bill White Produces Secret Porn Tape

With all those cuts at The Morning Call, columnist Bill White has decided he had better do some crime reporting.

Job security.

Amazingly, some people go to massage parlors for sex! Boy, is that a surprise! I don't know he did it, but Bill somehow came up with the audio tape of that paid informant sent into a massage parlor.

How Bethlehem Area School District Got Screwed

When I think of Bethlehem Area School District, the first image that comes to my mind is that of drug dealing former Nitchamnn middle school principal John Acerra, who was arrested in his office ... naked ... watching porn ... with sex toys and pictures of me nearby. Others think of the whitewashed report of that close encounter of the strange kind, or the goofy fight between Freedumb and Liburtie parents over home field advantage in the face of the lowest standardized test scores in the Lehigh Valley. Morning Call columnist Bill White has recently fixed his glare on the high salaries paid to administrators. Swaptions are not the first thing on most people's minds.

Hell, most of us don't even know what the hell they are. As explained in Wikipedia, a swaption "is an option granting its owner the right but not the obligation to enter into an underlying swap. Although options can be traded on a variety of swaps, the term "swaption" typically refers to options on interest rate swaps."

Still confused?

You're not alone. According to Bloomberg, at least fifteen school districts since 2003 have been shnookered into interest rate swap deals worth $28 million. Schools have raked in $15 million, but banks and advisers have taken the rest as fees. This is thanks to a law passed unanimously in the land of midnight payraises. Of course, financial advisors lobbied heavily for that bill's passage. And shortly after that, Bethlehem got nailed with eight swaps on just two bond issues.

Here's what happened, according to Bloomberg:

At an April 2005 meeting, Les Bear, of advisory firm Arthurs Lestrange & Co. in Pittsburgh, told the school board by arranging two interest-rate swaps tied to $110 million in bond issues, the 15,350-student district could generate more than $11 million over 25 years.

School finance director Stan Majewski supported the plan. "Mr. Majewski commented that we all try to surround ourselves with people who know more than we do," minutes of the meeting say. "He believes Arthurs Lestrange is the best public financing department of any organization in this country."

None of the board members asked Bear or Majewski how much the district would pay for the swaps, the minutes show.

A month later, Lestrange, working with a Lancaster, Pennsylvania, firm called Access Financial Markets, negotiated two swaps with JPMorgan and Morgan Stanley without competitive bidding.

$3 Million Fees

So far, the district has taken in about $900,000 from the deals, Bloomberg data show. That compares with $3 million in transaction fees. Lestrange and Access made $630,000 each for arranging the swaps, according to school district records. New York-based Morgan Stanley made $840,000 and JPMorgan received fees totaling $900,000, Bloomberg data show. Lestrange and Access earned a fee 10 times more than the Easton Area School District, Bethlehem's neighbor, paid its adviser on a comparable interest-rate swap in 2004. In a memo to school board members, Majewski said the fees included annual interest rate monitoring that would cost the district hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Bear of Lestrange and Matthew Kirk of Access didn't respond to requests for comment. The rates the banks charged Bethlehem were twice the average for comparable swaps deals. In this kind of swap, in which both sides pay floating interest rates, a bank calculates its fees by subtracting an amount from the rate it will pay.

In the average deal of this type, banks lower the rate by 0.06 percent, says Jeff Pearsall, a managing director of Philadelphia-based Public Financial Management, the largest municipal adviser in the U.S.

JPMorgan subtracted 0.13 percent in the Bethlehem deal, and Morgan Stanley lowered its rate by 0.11 percent. Morgan Stanley spokeswoman Jennifer Sala declined to comment.

One of the financial advisors who pushed for this new law is Elmer Heinel, who has kicked in $141,245 since 2000 to state lawmakers. Locally, this includes $550 to Doug Reichley, $700 to Pat Browne, $2,500 to the Lehigh County Republican Committee, $900 to Craig Dally, $200 to Karen Beyer, $500 to Judge Simpson, $850 to Charlie Dent and $2,100 to the Lehigh Valley Republican Action Team. But that's peanuts compared to Dave Eckhart, whose firm (under investigation) publicly supported this bill. During the same period, he threw $469,400 at Pennsylvania elected officials and made sure the Dems got their sugar, too - $47,000 to Vince Fumo, $22,000 to Ed Rendell, $5,900 to state rep. Bill DeWeese and $10,000 to the state Democratic party.

Pay to play is alive and well.

Heaven Help Us, Bob Guzzardi Has a Blog

No offense, Bob, but I already get so many emails from you I'm beginning to think we're married. I'm close to filing a PFA. And you're a dude who wants less of everything? Maybe with this latest venture, Conservative Reform Network Blog, Bob can focus.

Like fellow conservative Tony Phyrillas, comments to his blog must first be approved. He likes to say a lot, but is not so sure whether he wants to hear differing views.

In one of his posts about local politics, Bob claims Northampton County Exec John Stoffa is "not a liberal" So let's see. John would like to spend money for a recidivism center, increases taxes for open space projects and supports a health department. Yep, that sounds like a conservative to me.

Blue Coyote: LV Legislators Continue Push to Ban Robocalls

During last Fall's municipal elections, many of us witnessed, firsthand, the destructive nature of anonymous robocalls. BethlehemDem and his wife have lived in Lehigh County for the past two years, but still got one over their dinner hour, instructing them NOT to vote for Peg Ferraro. In fact, Peg got a call herself, and was surprised to learn she voted to increase taxes a gazillion per cent. One of Peg's close friends, who has never even voted, was unable to persuade her she had been duped.

In December, three Lehigh Valley legislators - Rich Grucela, Joe Brennan and Craig Dally - became sponsors of legislation that flatly bans political robocalls. "Automated political calls – A person may not use automatic dialing equipment to make a telephone solicitation call on behalf of a political candidate or a political party." Brennan and Dally also signed onto a similar bill that deletes the political exemption from Do-not-call lists.

Blue Coyote reports that the state house government committee today has agreed, nearly unanimously, to send this bill to the full house. "It is expected that the bill will be amended on the House floor. The amendment may extend the Do Not Call opt-out for robo-calls to commercial phone customers as well."

Pawlowski's Incriminating Website is MIA

When Ed Pawlowski ran for mayor, one of his five solutions to Allentown's many problems was a "clean and safe" community. His website contained bold statements like "I will not tolerate any criminal destroying my neighborhood or any other neighborhood in this city" and a promise to "aggressively target criminals and drug dealers, and help re-establish Allentown as a place where families can feel safe and be proud to call home."

Pretty tough, huh?

His newsletter contained a three-pronged solution to crime. First, he'd use Lehigh County deputy sheriffs. Sheriff Rossi was at the podium, standing next to Pawlowski, as he made this promise. Second, he'd use citizen volunteers to help out with paperwork and do things that could free up officers and keep them on the street. Third, he claimed to have knowledge of federal funding sources that would help beef up the police ranks.

In fact, he's done none of these things.

No deputy sheriffs have been used, despite a solemn pledge as Sheriff Rossi piously stood next to him. Strike one.

Federal funding to beef up the police department? In 2006, Allentown's police staffing was at its lowest levels since the 50s, and that's according to Pawlowski's own state of the city address. And wait until this year! Strike two.

Citizen volunteers? He keeps making promises about that, too. Steeerike three.

All of the damning evidence was on Pawlowski's own website last week, and I pointed it out in comments on this blog.

Guess what? Poof! Those promises have disappeared. If you click on Pawlowski's web site now, all you'll see is "Hello World!!!" All the incriminating evidence is gone.

Allentown's Crime Data: Facts, not Propaganda

Mayor Pawlowski and his cronies dined last Thursday at Johnny Mañana's (that's with a ñ, damn it!). Maybe he even left a tip this time. All the beautiful people were there, including "many of the leaders of the downtown renaissance."

I'll bet they didn't walk.

I'll also lay odds that few Allentown cops were at this fundraiser. They were a little busy, dealing with two, separate shootings that have left one person dead and three others wounded.

Little things like that make me question the mayor's claim that his pitifully understaffed police department has still managed to take a "bite out of crime." He claims crime has dropped 9 per cent on the basis of statistics compiled by the state police. In a strangely vague editorial, The Morning Call concludes the "numbers themselves are encouraging."

Actually, they aren't. I've looked at the data. You can track crime just about anywhere in Pennsylvania with this useful link, all the way back to the year 2000. On the basis of what I see, reporters who joke they're a "little nervous to head outside for their afternoon coffee break" should chip in and buy a coffeemaker.

Here's the numbers, year by year, from 2000.

2000 - 17,445 offenses, 9 homicides, 37 rapes
2001 - 17,277 offenses, 9 homicides, 40 rapes
2002 - 17,297 offenses, 9 homicides, 49 rapes
2003 - 18,025 offenses, 12 homicides, 46 rapes
2004 - 18,304 offenses, 11 homicides, 48 rapes
2005 - 18,366 offenses, 21 homicides, 39 rapes
2006 - 19,072 offenses, 17 homicides, 43 rapes
2007 - 17,381 offenses, 21 homicides, 30 rapes

Average - 17,895 offenses, 14 homicides, 41 rapes

On the basis of this 8 year average, this is just a 0.02% decrease, statistically insignificant. Homicides, the most serious and violent offenses, are still alarmingly high, 50% higher than the 8 year average. Any claim that violent crime has diminished is simply ridiculous - the raw data for the most violent offense of all defies that conclusion. The most promising area is a decrease in the number of forcible rapes, about 25% below the 8 year average.

It's no secret that Allentown police numbers are expected to fall drastically again this and next year. When the police staffing fell in 2006, that's when the numbers jumped up, a thousand crimes higher than the eight year average. If Mayor Pawlowski fails to take steps to replenish Allentown's police force, those numbers will jump again.

One factor not considered when Mayor Pawlowski tooted his horn is Allentown's declining population. Between 2000 and 2003, Allentown experienced a 0.6% population drop. Easton lost 0.3% of its people over the same period, while Bethlehem has experienced an increase of 1.7%.

Easton's mayor knows he has a crime problem, and guess what? He's actually doing something about it. Sal Panto is biting the bullet and beefing up his police force. More of them are walking beats, too.

Mayor Ed, why don't you give Mayor Sal a call?

Charlie Dent's Official Kickoff For Third Term: It's Hammer Time!

Seriously, what's the deal with all that facial hair at The Morning Call? It's bad enough that every editor and columnist is trying to look like a college professor, but now their reporters are getting in on the act, too. I met one of their star journalists, Daryl Nerl, last night at The Four Points Sheraton on Airport Road. Maybe it's me, but I think he's taking things too far.

Before you get the wrong idea about my little rendezvous with Daryl at a local watering hole on a Friday night, I better explain we were both there on business. In fact, I finally got to meet blogger and Morning Call op-ed columnist Pam Varkony last night, too. I was stunned and, for once, speechless. In addition to being such an excellent writer, she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Unfortunately, she brought her husband. I tried slipping a few of my extra valiums into one of his drinks, but Shawn Millan drank it instead and passed out immediately, falling right into the indoor pool.

We were just a few of about three hundred enthusiastic fans who braved the cold rain last night to watch Charlie Dent announce his candidacy for a third term as the Lehigh Valley's representative to Congress.

I have never been to one of these things before, and arrived at the Sheraton early. Then I decided I should be fashionably late, so I sat in my jeep, popped a few Valiums (I have a prescription, damn it!), and waited for the parking lot to fill up. These Dent fans were all pretty young. College age. That surprised me. I finally followed a large group and walked behind them into this room with a big strobe light and loud music. Everyone was boozing and kicking it up, dancing to "Hammer Time."

Man, these Republicans know how to party! After about an hour, it finally dawned on me that I was in the wrong frickin' room. I did get a few phone numbers, but they all go to a VD hotline for some reason.

When I finally got to the right room, I slipped on my "At Issue Ron Angle" polo shirt and tried to look rich. Little did I know that Republicans hate Ron as much as Democrats. Several looked at me menacingly, but Shawn Millan squared me away. He slapped a nametag over the "At Issue Ron Angle" and I scribbled "Meg Holland, Jr.," on it. After that, people were pretty nice.

"So you're Meg Holland, Jr."

"That's right."

"So what do you do?"

"I'm an architect."

I fit right in.

All kidding aside, the crowd was very cordial and affectionate. I got more kisses last night than in my fifty-six years on earth. Nancy Dienel, Dawn Berrigan, Dottie Niklos, Pam Varkony and Scott Armstrong all planted one on me. No phone numbers.

Charlie was introduced by Lehigh County Republican Chair Bill Platt, who scares the shit out of me because he looks exactly like his dad. Bill reminded the crowd of words once uttered by our poet president, Abraham Lincoln. “I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.”

If anything sums up Charlie Dent, it's those two simple sentences. Charlie Dent is a man proud of the place in which he lives. In his eight minute speech, he made that clear. "I will be your representative to Washington, not Washington's representative to you. I live here and will not take for granted this community that has been so good to me. I have a lot more to get done."
And what I like most about his style of leadership is his reliance on the people in his district. "Original ideas don't come from Washington and Harrisburg. They come from you." Charlie also lives so that this place will be proud of him. The very first thing he did was ask his wife and very active kids to come up and join him.

Pam Varkony has a terrific and accurate summary of the points Dent made in his brief address. I'd say that, of all these points, there are three things he stressed the most.

First, he insists we must end our oil dependence, especially from unstable parts of the world, and look for alternative forms of energy. "Americans landed a man on the moon. We ushered in the information age. American ingenuity can find an answer." No one disputes our global gas gauge is flickering on E. Dent is a co-founder of the House Hydrogen and Fuel Cell Caucus, and wants to convert Route 78 into a hydrogen highway, but has told me before that he supports any environmentally friendly alternative that works.

Second, he mentioned our security, and I'm not talking about battles in far flung corners of the world, but our safety here at home, in places like Allentown or Easton. He warned that a "growing menace" of "violent gangs" are "preying" on our communities and even our schools. He has already provided funds for 300 digital video camera systems for police in Allentown, Bethlehem and Easton. These both protect officers and provide oversight. Thanks to Dent, Allentown police will have better radio gateways, so they can talk to law enforcement in surrounding departments. The federal government can't supply police officers, but can supply funds for equipment that should enable cities to beef up their forces. In addition, Dent has introduced the Anti-Gang Task Force Act, which authorizes $20 million per year to establish new multi-jurisdictional anti-gang task forces consisting of appropriate local, state and federal officials.

Finally, he noted our health care crisis, noting that individuals should be able to take advantage of the same discounts for health insurance that are offered to businesses. And he stressed that individuals should be allowed to choose their own health care providers.

After his speech, Pam took my picture with Dent. What poor Charlie doesn't know is that I stole his wallet. Hey, I'm a Democrat, and that's what we do. Unfortunately, he only had $3. The Morning Call's Daryl Nerl was kind enough to allow Pam and I watch as he peppered Dent with question after question. No softballs. Pam had some good questions, too. I'll tell you about that next week. Right now, I have a few more calls to make. It's Hammer Time!

Update: Daryl Nerl's more accurate account of last night's event is here. Dent did tell Nerl he disagrees with McCain's immigration views and hasn't decided on a presidential favorite, but is "leaning towards McCain" at the moment.

Northampton County Exec Stoffa Smeared For Trying to Sell His Own Land

If you ever meet Northampton County Executive John Stoffa, you're going to notice a few things. First, he's ninety feet tall. Second, there's a sad look on his face - as though he's really constipated. Third, large and rough hands, with a finger missing here and there.

He came up hard.

You'll still never know a thing about this amazing man unless you sit down and actually talk to him. What you'll find is a bright and surprisingly humble man with a laconic wit that bloggers and news people envy. Like flamboyant Jim (are you looking at me?) Hickey, one sentence from Stoffa is usually worth a few stories.

With Stoffa, you'll also find a simple set of ideals that no one in local or any other office possesses.

He does what he thinks his right, and never lets political considerations interfere with his thinking. When he ran for county exec, he actually promised voters he'd raise their taxes. As he puts it, "They elected me anyway." When council adopted a popular American Heroes Grant, it was really just window dressing that helped no one. But voting against that is political suicide. Stoffa, himself a vet, vetoed the bill, saying it needs more work. When council attempted to shove an overpriced IT bid down Stoffa's throat, he ignored them, and saved county taxpayers $1.8 million in the process.

The nonpolitician has slaughtered a partisan council every time they've tried to tangle with him.

As an eight-year old farm boy, he struggled one hot day until he finally yanked a nasty ragweed from a cornfield. He eventually went to college and got involved in county government. But in his outlook, he's still that eight year old farm boy, pulling out ragweeds. There's no shortage of them in Northampton County government.

I've been labeled a Stoffa sycophant, but John and I have our differences. We were actually on the opposite sides of the open space referendum question a few years ago. He supported it. I organized the opposition, and ran a dirty, negative campaign. Anonymous fliers. Automated robocalls. I still remember making prank calls while he was out baling hay or doing whatever the hell farmers do. I even had forty pizzas delivered to his home. It was a close race. The bastard beat me about 65/35. Severson Scissorhands was so impressed he offered me a job.

After it was all over, I blamed everything on Angle. Stoffa bought it.

Concerned about poor government performance, Stoffa came out of retirement to challenge a heavily financed, two-term, county executive who had the party's blessing. John had no paid advisors, accepted only small political contributions and did no negative campaigning. Handmade signs and mimeographed fliers did the trick. On the night he defeated Glenn Reibman, John and his wife were at the movies.

The "pay to play" crowd never forgave him for that.

Now it's crunch time. Stoffa's trying to decide whether to seek a second term. I'm sure his wife would like nothing better than to have her husband home. But a lot of us think John can do a lot of good in a second term. That's the last thing the "pay to play" crowd wants, so they're trying their best to muddy him up now, instead of waiting for the usual nasty anonymous robocalls and mailers.

In yesterday's post about John Stoffa's meatloaf cabinet, someone anonymously (and of course it's always anonymous) snarked Stoffa.

8:05 PM: "[W]hile no one is looking he carves off a piece of his environmentally sensitive land from his farm and tries to sell it for a profit using a real estate agent he just reappointed to the assessment board who was also a campaign contribitor."

I said I'd look into it on Thursday, but that wasn't good enough. Twelve hours later, this comment appeared.

8:35 AM: "The question is, is Stoffa selling land across the street from his house, that he separated from the original deed, or not? Is he using Miklas as his realtor or not? Is Miklas on the revenue appeals board or not? Did Miklas give to Stoffa's campaign or not? Is the land that Stoffa is selling in a flood plan or not? If it is, is this an environmental friendly Stoffa or a man trying to make a buck off the county? I have many more so called spurious questions, but I know you will never answer them Bernie, because you espouse Stoffa as the next coming of Christ. Maybe the MSM can check this out, or are they Stoffa disciples, also."

Wow! A challenge to do some investigative reporting! And I get first crack, too! Here's what I found.

1) Stoffa owns two tracts of land in Allen Township. He still likes to do a little farming. His big piece, 26 acres, is where his home is located. But across the street, there's a smaller, 2.9 acre, tract of vacant land. Stoffa bought these properties in 1989. There are two separate parcels and two separate deeds. The larger piece is outlined in red above. The property was properly subdivided before Stoffa purchased the tracts. To be honest, because of the size of the land involved and the natural division caused by the road, no subdivision is really necessary. I know that because I'm a title searcher. I even went to college. It was subdivided anyway.

2) The realtor involved in this shady transaction is Bob Miklas, a licensed real estate agent and appraiser. I know Bob. I've seen him at the courthouse many times, looking at deeds. Miklas is an old fart like Stoffa and does a little farming himself, so they hit it off pretty well. Prior to '89, they had never met. But now, after an extensive interrogation of Bob Miklas, I've discovered that he and Stoffa are friends. This is pretty hot stuff, isn't it? I strapped Miklas to a waterboard, and he confessed that Stoffa sometimes visits his grandson and gives him little trinkets for his tractor. Man, this stuff is dynamite!

3) Stoffa may still think with the ideals of an 8 year old farm boy, but he's now nearing seventy. It now takes him nine hours just to cut the grass on his larger tract. He's often seen at 10 PM, cutting his lawn with lights on his lawn tractor. So, as campaign consultant Russ Shade tells me, Stoffa decided during his county exec campaign that he should sell off his smaller piece.

4) As Stoffa explained to me, he worries when taking his equipment across the road to cut the grass on his vacant lot. It's extremely dangerous, especially at night.

5) After being elected, Stoffa simply had no time to cut the grass. When he finally did get to it, it would be torture. Ron Angle offered to help out, but stole one of Stoffa's tractors and drove off, laughing. He later fenced the tractor at one of Zee Weikel's Allentown yard sales.

6) Stoffa and his very lovely wife, Barbara, tried selling the property to an adjacent neighbor, but the price offered was unacceptable. They also tried with Allen Township. Hokendauqua Creek does go through the property and the Stoffas have always allowed fisherman to try their luck there. They've never posted or kept people off the lot. But Allen Township supervisors had no interest. So the Stoffas tried to sell the lot.

7) First, they tried on their own, but were unable to guarantee that a buyer could build his dream house there. Realtor Bob Miklas was already familiar with the property and knew the procedures necessary for site approval (PennDot, perc testing, environmental studies and other appropriate approvals), so he was engaged to try and unload this vacant land. The property did not sell.

8) Last week, the Stoffas took the property off the market. Their 36-year-old son, Jeffrey, has returned from Miami to live with them and will cut the grass. Problem solved.

9) Bob Miklas did contribute a small sum (between $250 and $500) to Stoffa's campaign. After I pulled a few of his fingernails out, he admitted why he did this terrible thing. "John Stoffa has the best interests of the people at heart."

10) Miklas was appointed (by Stoffa) and confirmed (by council) to the Revenue Appeals Board. As a licensed realtor and appraiser, he has excelled in deciding property valuation questions that inevitably arise. As Bob explained to me, "I hope I'm doing a service for the county." According to Deputy Director of Human Services Lorraine Cordaro, the revenue appeals board conducted hearings at twelve meetings last year, and Miklas was paid a whopping $1,800 for his services. As supervisor of an eight person office, these hearings in all probability resulted in a net loss of income to Miklas.

11) Stoffa has asked his wife to engage Miklas to sell their property if something happens to him.

Sadly, this type of anonymous, negative and spurious smear has become the norm since Bossman Joe Long has ascended to the throne of Northampton County Democrats. They still have not learned they are only hurting themselves. This is also why good people avoid public office like the plague. In Stoffa's case, he's being hammered for trying to sell a piece of his own land. And Miklas is being flogged for his willingness to share his real estate appraisal knowledge with the county, and in an area where it is desperately needed.

These sleaze comment were made, not to further good government, but to prevent it. John, this little episode had to be distasteful to you, your wife and Bob Miklas. The attempt to smear you makes me want to jump in the shower. But it's also why you need to seek a second term. The county still needs you.

Why the Hell is Bill White Looking For Lesbians ...

... when he can have this?

Alycia Lane, recently released from her contract at KWY-TV after an unfortunate early morning misunderstanding with half the New York City police department, is suddenly available.

But the Morning Call had better act fast! Word on the street is that Vince McMahon's WWE has already offered her an on-camera job.