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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Friday, November 11, 2022

Nailed By a Skunk

My late father and I are very much alike in that we're both strikingly handsome and very intelligent. But we're also quite different. I have a knack for really pissing people off without even trying. It's a gift. My father, on the other hand, could insult people mercilessly and they'd love it. 

I remember once walking into an elevator with him that was already occupied by a Commonwealth Court judge. 

He stuck his rather prominent proboscis into the air and sniffed, "Why you really smell lovely today!"

"Thank you," she blushed.

"What is it, a new after shave?"

If I did something like that, I'd get 20 years in the electric chair. 

I constantly read, and at numerous places, that I'm pretty despicable. The latest comes from a person who writes this about me: "I'm hoping he burns alive...nice and slow,, not sure if I mentioned this asshat before." 

So hard as it might believe, I have some detractors. 

This apparently extends to the Animal Kingdom as well. Last night, while walking the seeing-eye dog, we both got nailed by a skunk. 

I thought it would have extended me some professional courtesy. 

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Were you walking your dog along Ridge Street in West Easton? I hear there is a skank in that area.

Anonymous said...

U have my sympathies. Recently I let dog back in from last toileting and smelled strong skunk odor as I opened door. Not unusual in my area. As I walked into living room odor got stronger and dog rolling on carpet. None of the concoctions from internet, vet and pet store helped over the next few days as I attempted to rid her of odor. For at least 2 months every time she got wet the odor was there. Hope your bathing efforts are not as futile. But I think you have less hair.

Bernie O'Hare said...

7:25, I used De-Skunk shampoo. It seems to have done the trick. Unfortunately, the dog belongs to a neighbor, and he's been burdened with the odor. The dog only got nailed on the head and I think I got most of it. This has happened tome many times over the years, including the night before I left for college. I walked into Georgetown smelling like Pepe Le Pew.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I've read that hydrogen peroxide mixed with baking soda and a little dish detergent does the trick. Have not tried it.

Anonymous said...

Little wonder skunks like you so much, O'Hara. They're members of the weasel family!

Anonymous said...

It does, had to use it many years ago, also on a black dog. Who inherently stayed black after a peroxide bath

Kathy Riffert said...

It does, had to use it many years ago, also on a black dog. Who inherently stayed black after a peroxide bath

Anonymous said...

Let's see. you got attacked by a skanky women and she left her skanky perfume all over your body and your dogs head. Was this skank a red head, a blonde, or a brunette. Did she own a pig? Hmmn, I think I need a little more information on this matter. How do you manage to get yourself into these predicaments. Only you Bernie.

Anonymous said...

You need a Chia Pet makeover for Christmas !

Anonymous said...

No Game !

Anonymous said...

You stink!