Over the weekend, a shitload of Northampton County residents received major awards for being outstanding in various bullshit categories like volunteers, veterans, youth, emergency workers, etc. Once again, I was omitted. And this was after Exec Lamont McClure assured me I was a winner in the Youth category. To rub salt in the wound, he gave a major award to fellow blogger Matt Dees. But that's not what pisses me off. What really outrages me is that, once again, I've been overlooked for a Nobel Prize. Since my blog is largely fiction, I thought I had a lock on Literature.
11 comments:
Peace Prize for Bernie!
Surely you should have received the Trail Biker Award. 🏆
Best fake blog in America award-- you deserve it
It's difficult to get an award for literature when you don't use spell check.
Bernie,
Without your blog, I would know nothing!
Your false modesty is showing.
Now look what you went and did. You triggered cRaZy.
Hey Buddy, you're a legend in your own mind.
We love ya. Just like the scarecrow in the "wizard of Oz", who all he wanted was a brain. Are you aware the scarecrow's name was Bernie. When he finally gets his brain (when he is actually only two days old) he gains the confidence he needs to feel good about himself.
Ya gotta visit the great and wonderful OZ Bernie.
Hokie Joe
Why should McClure give you an award? You are already one of his PR people, so he doesn't need to bribe you. This carnival should be called the I'm M<Clure look at me and vote for me award
show.
McClures' annual campaign photo op.
Forget about awards, Bernie. You already know you are outstanding. We all know that. What you really need to do is to become THE muckraker of Northampton County. Lots of material at hand. You can start with the fact that shoppers at the Walmart in Bethlehem Square next to Home Depot are accosted inside the store by women who want to switch your electric provider, BUT who do not identify themselves as salespersons nor state exactly what it is that they are up to, so that naive old ladies can be roped in, believng they are sending the target info about your current provider. They are employees of the store. The store refuses to answer its phone when one old lady calls to complain.
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