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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Northampton County Solicitor Joining Judicial Race, Too

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingNorthampton County Solicitor Karl Longenbach, who shunned the Long Democrats this weekend, has reportedly decided to seek a judgeship, too. He wants nothing to do with me. You see, I pretty much lost his judicial quest last time he ran.

You see, I supported him. Here's the sad story, which I've told once before.

Have you ever met Karl? He's about 9 feet tall and weighs about 100 lb. Physically, he's an Abe Lincoln minus the facial hair. If you ever have the pleasure of meeting him, you'll walk away impressed. Right now, he's Northampton County's Solicitor under Exec John Stoffa, who's 10 feet tall and weighs about 90 lb. Another Lincoln.

Me? I'm about 4 feet tall and weigh about 700 lb. unless I can ride my bike and run. In 2005, I had a good thing going. I was able to commute by bike almost daily. Now I could give you all kinds of noble reasons for this -- peak oil, environment, fitness, blah, blah, blah. The simple truth is I love it.

When Karl Longenbach asked me to work in his campaign, I envisaged late-night strategy sessions, speechwriting, and a few dirty tricks here and there. I immediately agreed. Finally, someone had recognized my abundant talents!

Then one day the call came. I rushed over to meet Karl, and was handed about 3,000 signs to plant. Having absolutely no mechanical ability, this presented a problem. First, I had to figure how to put flimsy plastic sleeves over wire hangars. I ruined about 1,000 signs doing that. Then I had to hammer them into the ground. There goes another 1,000 signs. Then I had to hammer them into the ground again whenever winds blew over 3 mph. I ruined nearly every sign he gave me when all was said and done.

But I kept one sign for my bike. I took some clothes hangars and managed to strap the sign to my back as I pedaled to work. On election day, I rode the main roads so that voters could see that Karl was both environmentally friendly and had nothing against fat guys on bikes. I tooled along, waving at the many admirers who blasted their horns. You may say they resented a cyclist clogging up the Lehigh Valley's arteries, but they were obviously signaling support.

Well, I made it to the courthouse, sweating from head to foot, and immediately changed in the men's room, which drives environmentally conscious Long Democrats batty. I hung my wet clothing discretely on my bike, right by the courthouse entrance, and placed this "Longenbach for Judge" sign in plain view on the side of my bike. Every person walking in or out of the courthouse would see it.

The courthouse was busy that day. There must have been a sale on dog licenses or something. But I was happy because I knew a lot of people would see Karl's sign. I was making a difference, baby.

But throughout the day, I noticed people would snicker or give strange looks as I walked past. I had no idea why -- my zipper was up and I wasn't trailing toilet paper. Finally, at the end of the day, a female attorney asked me if I was wearing underwear. Huh?

I went outside and there was the underwear from my bike trip right next to Karl's sign. Apparently, I was less discrete than I had thought. People would walk by, look at my underwear, then Karl's sign, and start laughing. The underwear campaign sign decoration later become the subject of a bar association luncheon, or so I'm told. Contrary to what people now tell me, there were no skid marks!

Election night, Karl lost by a handful of votes. Karl did forgive me, but I had to promise to work for his opponent if he ever runs again. So don't vote for Karl.


Anonymous said...

Being Stoffas solicitor will hurt him.

Anonymous said...

I'm voting for Carl. He is the guy who made Angle pay the estate of his tenant Mr. Snyder the ten large back. Mr. Snyder was the guy that Angle locked in his apartment and fed tastykakes. Carl brought Angle to court and made him pay all the money back Angle helpfully deposited in his own account that was rightfully Mr. Snyders. Go Carl !

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Carl brought Angle to court and made him pay all the money back"

First off, it's Karl. Second, if you were informed about that matter, you'd know he is NOT the attorney who sued over the tastycakes. But obviously, you are poorly informed.

Anonymous said...

Dare I ask. Does this mean you
weren't wearing underwear?

Anonymous said...

If Karl is not the attorney who sued and got 10K, please clear that up by letting us know who did sue Angle over the Snyder tastykake incident?

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Dare I ask. Does this mean you
weren't wearing underwear?"

Of course. I always had a change of clothing on my bike.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"If Karl is not the attorney who sued and got 10K, please clear that up by letting us know who did sue Angle over the Snyder tastykake incident?"

As I told you before, you like to remember that case the way you'd like to remember it. I pulled the transcript, baby, and know the truth, which the Joe Long Democrats have distorted.

The attorney who brought the lawsuit is George Heitczman.

Anonymous said...

What would the truth be, Bernie?

Bernie O'Hare said...

The truth is that Angle was helping an old man who could not really take care of himself. He should have realized it was beyond his capacity. He never acted out of malice or a desire to enrich himself, and no court ever made that finding. The matter was settled.

Karl was the appointed guardian and hired Heitczman to file suit.

If 1/10th of the misinformed comments that have been posted here about that incident were true, Angle would have been criminally charged by DA Corriere, who correctly ruled the evidence was lacking.

Anonymous said...

Evidence was lacking because the witness, in this case Mr. Snyder died. Isn't it true that the police still wanted to file charges against Angle ?

Bernie O'Hare said...

No. If the police wanted to do so, they would have done so. They needed no one's permission.

Anonymous said...

Undisputed fact. Angle locked Mr. Snyder in his apartment from the outside. Angle fed Mr. Snyder tastykakes. Angle drove Mr. Snyder to the bank when his check came in the mail. Angle deposited Mr. Snyder's check in Angle's account.

Questions. If Angle was so concerned about his condition why didn't he inform the authorities ? If Angle was trying to "help" out the elderly, why was Angle feeding him tastykakes ? If Angle was helping Mr. Snyder safe guard his money, why didn't the money get deposited in Mr. Snyder's account as opposed to Angle's. Afterall, Mr. Sndyer was demented and locked in his apartment so there wasn't much chance that Mr. Sndyer would get to the bank to waste his funds.

The truth is what Angle did was loathesome. And you are loathsome for trying to revise this sordid history.

Bernie O'Hare said...

The subject of this post is Karl Longenbach's judicial candidacy, not whether Ron Angle or I are loathesome. Your constant attempts to villify him with all kinds of wrongdoing have always fallen short because they are either blatantly false or distorted.

In this matter, you falsely claimed that Karl was the attorney who sued Angle. Then ytou falsely claimed that the police were somehow stopped from filing charges, something they could have done on their own. Now you take this ancient case, which you never read, and distort what was going on.

Angle's mistake is that he should have asked to have been appointed guardian or att'y in fact. He used that man's funds to help him, something he could not do if they were depositied in his account. But contrary to what you are suggesting about something that is ancient history, Angle never acted out of lucre or malice. That's why all those attempts to villify him have always failed.

Anonymous said...

All pols are pay to play. Now even John Stoffa is turning to the dark side with his recent decision about a engineering contract. You see, i have never been a pay to play engineer-Even during the Reibman era-and i still always managed to do some work for the county. I never gave into the Reibman-Butz team. I was smart and stayed away. Now, they sent out a RFQ for engineering services but it is missing a few things. First, they do not ask for a fee. I thought John was the "lets get the lowest bids on everything". If it's good enough for the IT contract why not engineering. Right-Bernie. Not this time. Second, the RFQ was written around one firm. I can tell you right now that D'huy engineering will get the contract because of the way the RFQ was published and that's what stoffa wants. Why would the county hire them after the fiasco they put us thru at with the Gracedale window project? What was it like 2 Million over budget. Now Bernie, before you lash back, i want you to know that I never mind competing for projects. I do it all the time, sometimes i win and sometimes i lose. All i ask for is for the playing field to be level. The way this RFQ is written, there are only 2 firms that can provide the complete package. D'huy and CMX. I don't think Stoffa will hire Hickey. It's just a major waste of taxpayer money. If Ann McHale were smart she would use this as defense.

Bernie O'Hare said...

You're OT but that's ok.

You alternatively state the RFQ is written for one engineer. A few sentences later, you say it is written for two.

Do me a favor and send me an email outlining your concerns and I'll get an answer. BOHare5948@aol.com.

D'Huy, by the way, is not doing the Gracedale windows. That's Cowan Associates. It's not overbudget.

Anonymous said...

Hickey has in fact cozied up to Stoffa for his firm and got the wacky Parking Deck survey contract. Hickey will support anyone who moves money in his direction. The Deck that two years ago Stoffa said was unsafe but people are still Parking on it.

Anonymous said...

Karl Logenbach was the Trustee who forced Ron Angle to pay the money he stole from the Snyder Estate in the amount of $10,000.00 back to the Estate. He would be a good Judge.

Anonymous said...

D'huy is doing the project management for the Gracedale project. Cowan did the window design. And yes is was way over budget. Refer to Express-times archive. CMX may be able to respond to the RFQ.

Bernie O'Hare said...

My impression is that the project is behind schedule but is coming in at the cost originally projected, but I will check it out. I may be mistaken. As I mentioned, send me an email to outline your concerns. I'll look into it.

This blog does not exist to satisfy disgruntled vendors. But if what you say is true, the taxpayers are suffering.

Bernie O'Hare said...

"The Deck that two years ago Stoffa said was unsafe but people are still Parking on it."

Actually, Stoffa killed Hickey's parking deck, so Jim Hickey has ever reason to hate Stoffa if it is all about the money.

Stoffa has proposed fixing the existing parking deck bc we need to know our long range plans before spending $30MM on a deck we may not need.

In other words, he's looking out for the taxpayer, something that Team Dertinger/McHale should try.