Friday, September 28, 2007

Joe Owens: Good Editor, Lousy Gadfly

Ordinarily, Joseph P. Owens is the hotshot editor in chief of The Express Times, where he routinely converts my very intelligent letters to the editor into paper airplanes.

But guess what?


When Owens returns home from a hard day at work and notices no street lights in his neighborhood, he turns into an amateur gad fly. This summer, he attempted to grill Upper Nazareth Township supervisors, but they left him in the dark. Having no gadfly training, Joe blew it. He forgot a bullhorn and interrupted no one, even though he knows those cat calls really throw elected officials off. He never even tried to get himself forcibly ejected. He circulated no petitions, and failed to form a grass roots group like UNSAFE (Upper Nazareth streetlights are for everyone). He never bothered to wail that supervisors are conducting secret meetings with Nazareth Borough Council or something.

Billy Givens, of course, is the holy terror of local government. He's been thrown out of more public meetings than most of you will ever attend. Even when he sits meekly, you know he's just waiting for the right moment to erupt. Before the Iraq war, during a candlelight vigil, this snarling septuagenarian stepped out into the middle of traffic in downtown Easton with his bullhorn, ready to roll around in the gutter with some musclebound guy who looked very much like a professional wrestler. I was able to talk the guy out of taking a swing, but it cost me. I had to date him. On the bright side, I now get my wrestling tickets free.

Sadly, Joe Owens never really took the time to study Billy's guerrilla politics. So as a gadfly, Joe stinks. To make matters worse, he had to publish a letter to the editor from UNaz Super Joe Emrick, chiding him for his sorry performance.

But Joe is not taking this lying down. No sirree.

Last week, when I told you about Upper Nazareth's first ever web site, he tried to pop on this blog with some pithy shot. But because he's such a lousy gadfly, he couldn't even remember the password.

Here's what he tried to say.

Bernie,
Now that this Web project is over, do you think the citizens in my darkened neighborhood may now get repairs done in the streetlights that have been out for nearly two years?
Nah ... didn't think so.
JPO


Joe, I'm sending Billy to see you, and he won't take No for an answer. Prepare to be enlightened!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joe Owens is a case in point for the Peter Principle. He should be in text books.

Anonymous said...

Joe's alright except when he tries to talk about sports.

river said...

If he called the electric company instead of bothering town people,the light would have been repaired in a few days. That is what the phone book is for

Larry Kisslinger said...

Joe could have called me! I've had a hundred calls about street lights, as a city councilman in Bethlehem, and solved most. Most calls I ever received were dog dirt related but I had less success with those calls. go figure! larry@kisslinger.com

Anonymous said...

Yo anonn 10:03

Joe Owens hit the peter Principle and went on above that. In fact he should have his own Principle named after him.

Anonymous said...

In an unrelated subject, after professing to run a write-in campaign the day after loosing the primary, I heard the official announcement will come Monday. So much for the will of the people.

Anonymous said...

Joe Ownes is a modern day trogladyte worthy of the lowest bowels of his know-nothing Inferno.