As I believe I've mentioned a few thousand times, I'm a highly conditioned, well-trained athlete. My day began as it usually does, with a routine that involves stretching and core work for at least three minutes. Then I did my warm-up routine by walking a 132-pound English black lab for four miles. I walk him between three and five miles a day but he's actually gaining weight. His owners tell me it's all muscle. Once that was done, it was time for a bike ride, and my grandson told me he was available.
My neighbors laugh when I tell them I have four bikes, but it's a good thing that I do.
Plan A was to ride Ironton Rail Trail, the perfect one-hour workout. My grandson wanted to ride the USPS road bike (it's the same model Lance Armstrong rode to win the Tour de France, but I modified it to replace the drop bar with a flat bar). I started to get that bike ready but managed to break the Presta valve on the rear tire when filling it with air. We then went to Plan B.
Plan B was to ride the Ironton Trail with a Fuji cross bike. That's like a road bike, but it has wider tires and the geometry is a little more relaxed. As I rolled that out to my car, I noticed that the rear tire on that one was flat. Since it takes me three hours to change a flat on a rear tire, we decided on Plan C.
Plan C was to ride along the D&L trail between Allentown and Easton. I could use my Bianchi, a very sturdy hybrid that has become much faster than it was when I first rode it three years ago. My grandson would use his Cannondale Trail 5, a beautiful and very fast mountain bike with 29" wheels. But there was a problem, there, too. Last Thursday, we rode in the rain, and my grandson went down twice on wooden bridges at Ironton. As I took that bike to the car, I noticed that the handlebars were off center. Way off center. I pulled out my multitool, and believe it or not, I think I fixed it.
It was still daylight when we made it to the D&L and started our ride. Three miles in, I realized I had left my phone in an unlocked car. Given that so many things had already gone wrong, I decided to go back and get it. Fortunately, it was still there.
We continued our journey, and I must say the D&L was in excellent shape. We were cruising along at 13 mph, when suddenly, out of nowhere, we were confronted by Aviary Adversaries of the worst kind. Canada geese. In addition to the shit bombs they drop everywhere, they have goslings this time of year, and are very protective of their young.
I was confronted by two adult geese who were right in the middle of the bike path, just daring us to pass them. I went as far to the left as I could, but it was not far enough to satisfy this foul fowl. He flew right at me. He nipped at my leg but missed. My grandson, who was behind me, was less fortunate.
As I went to my left, he went to his right. This gregarious goose and his pissed partner were both quite incensed that I slipped by and took it out on him. They both came at him at once. As a former high school and college basketball player, my grandson has been fouled many times, but never by a fowl. He slid off his Trail 5 and down the bank of a very fetid canal. He managed to catch a root or would have gone in to the deep.
The Cannondale was not so lucky. It went in partially, but we fished it out. Aside from mossy wheels, it was fine.
We finished the rest of our ride rather uneventfully and had dinner before heading home. When I arrived back in Nazareth, I realized that I had failed to clamp down the Cannondale in my car. Thankfully, I also had it strapped so there was no issue.
Today should be better.
11 comments:
Lake Hydra Hit Squad. Long Live Hydra !
Sultana set you up. Those geese voted for her.
Great post Bernie. Jeez. Tough day. Here’s an unrelated shout out to a great local Non Profit that helps kids….Community Bike Works in Allentown and Easton. They will take your old bike and bike parts and let community kids fix them up under the guidance if volunteers and mentors during after school programs. Once the youth repairs the bike, they have earned the right to call it their own.
"Lake Hydra Hit Squad. Long Live Hydra !" Lol. Ken Kraft's revenge!
They're big and loud and hiss and spit. But their necks are very easily broken.
That's a hell of a day there Bernie - hope the rest of the week is a bit better.
The Banker
"They're big and loud and hiss and spit. But their necks are very easily broken."
I have nothing but respect for geese, even though they shit a lot and have gone after me numerous times. They are only protecting their young, a very laudable trait. In a month, they'll ignore us. These creatures are a wonder, They mate for life and migratory geese will fly thousands of miles. I would never knowingly harm them.
Had my canoe flipped (by a fellow paddler) in canal next to the rail yard. Not too deep just that the bottom is layered with black goo that holds onto shoes. Your grandson would have been fine with his quick feet. Shoes would have stunk big time though.
Fun article, Bernie! I was enjoying a nice trail ride several years ago and got too close to the babies, too. Man, I got out of Dodge fast!
I admire them also. My memory senior skip day. Was feeding them at a park. Ran out of bread. A group of first graders were all watching. Then the geese turned on me as I had no more bread. They can certainly nip at your legs !! The first graders found it hysterical. Me not so much. But still love them and their babies
Your bicycles sound way cooler than the AMF Renegade with a banana seat and high handle bars I had 60 years ago. I bought it at Hess’s with all of my First Holy Communion money. But like you, I was attacked by 2 crazed geese. My wife and children ran to the car and watched as I tried to fend them off and protect my legs. My family and I laugh now but it was scary then. Geese 1, My Honor 0
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