I love to eat. The more unhealthy the food, the more I like it. But after losing a shit ton of weight, one of my biggest fears is that I'll put it all back on. It's a realistic worry, too. My whole adult life, I've been a yo-yo on the scales. So when a holiday dedicated to eating everything in sight comes up, I struggle.
Many of you can get away with eating a little extra now and then. Not me. I can gain five pounds just smelling a good dessert. So it's always tough at this time of year. My problem is that, if I treat myself, I begin to binge. I might hide it at a social gathering, but will stop off somewhere on the way home and eat ten times more than the dessert I politely refused.
I attended a Thanksgiving dinner tonight, and made sure I ate plenty of turkey, about three times as much protein as I usually have. I also had some mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, two dinner rolls and two ounces of cheese. I declined dessert, but stopped at a WaWa on the way home for apple slices and peanut butter. I stayed under my calorie max (barely), and am far from hungry. But seeing and smelling all that food infused me with cravings that I am only getting over now.
As an alcoholic, I was able to stop drinking completely. Once you resign yourself to the fact that one drink is too many and a hundred is never enough, it gets easier by the day to pass up. But we need to eat to live. You can't just swear off food. .
I envy those of you who never gain weight and can eat what they want.
Fortunately, I was able to take my mind off food with three games of Hearts. I won all of them, and rather convincingly. I was so good my fellow players have suggested I conduct classes.
So I would replace Thanksgiving with National Hearts Day. No food. Just cards, coffee and sparkling water for me. If the others want to eat and drink, have at it.
