While smashing walls and slinging sledge hammers during $65 million renovations at the Lehigh County Courthouse, construction workers have stumbled on a 45 year-old time capsule. The size of a microwave, it's a copper box that was hidden behind the date stone.Informed of the discovery, Lehigh County Executive Don Cunningham is very excited. "I'll bet it's full of gold," claims Cunningham, who plans to crack the time capsule open during a news conference on Monday, 2:30 P.M., at the newly completed Sheriff’s Office on the second floor of Lehigh County Courthouse, 455 W. Hamilton St., Allentown, Pa 18101. He's already predicting this found money will negate county tax increases for the next hundred years. "What can I say? I'm lucky."
"If I find baby shoes or stupid postcards, I'm gonna' be pissed. This better not turn out like Al Capone's vault. I'm running for Governor, damn it!"
What's in it?
Aside from the gold and diamonds, rumors are that it contains these little treasures: the only known photograph of Judge Coyne smiling (he had just sentenced a Northampton County lawyer to death); an old copy of something called an afternoon newspaper; an actual sports trophy awarded to William Allen High School; the crown jewels of Emma Tropiano; an old A&B cockroach about six inches long; former Mayor Afflerbach's brain; and finally, the remains of Allentown's last known Republican.
7 comments:
it actually complains just a simple crystal tube, placed there by cunningham's true father, jor-el. in it is the data cunningham needs so he can fully understand his true identity.
So Don is actually Superman! I always thought Onorato looked a little like Lex Luther.
sounds like Jeraldo Rivera and Al Capone's vault...good enough for a 2 hour prime time TV Special!! :):)
What a crushing disappointment it shall be when the Horlacher is found to have been consumed. Someone check Big Ed's breath.
I like that one. A bottle of Horlacher.
Annon 2:55 IS A PERSONNAL attack without poof. I demand that you delete it.
Dude, lighten up.
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