King Edwin is pulling out all the stops, doing his best to marginalize anyone standing in the way of his vague Cedar Creek Parkway improvements, which still includes a 19,000 sq. ft. playground located in a flood zone, with absolutely no provision for maintenance or supervision. His First Lady, Lisa, has launched a Facebook page attacking the "doom and gloom" crowd who've expressed concerns about little things like the city's complete refusal to produce a final plan. She gives detailed instructions on bringing kids and signs to meetings, too, and suggests using them as media props. But that's nothing compared to what happened on Sunday. Moody Bible College graduate Pawlowski has played the God card.Life Church Pastor Randy Landis and Third Day Worship Center Pastor Charles Olmeda, heeding a plea from King/Saint Edwin, called on their flocks to attend Thursday's city council meeting to support their angelic mayor's efforts to build a 19,000 sq. ft. playground, in a flood zone, for differently-abled children. Let's face it. All of Cedar Creek Parkway is in the flood zone. I hope these servants of the Lord pray for a few inner tubes and handicapped-accessible life rafts, too.
Of course, West End residents opposed to Pawlowski's Playground are depicted as NIMBYs threatened by minorities and differently-abled children. These preachers never bothered talking to those who have concerns. Had they done so, they would have learned no one opposes this concept. The only questions have been about size, location, lack of citizen input and the city's refusal to provide for supervision.
I have spoken to some of the sheep in both of these flocks but will decline to identify them because Saint Edwin is a vengeful Lord. I then tried calling both pastors to discover why they were furthering Pawlowski's political agenda from the pulpit. No living person could speak to me at Life Church. Just recordings. At Third Day, a very nice receptionist spoke to me, but told me Pastor Charles takes off every First Day.
Despite taking the day off, Pastor Charles did take the time to send a mass email yesterday. "I am going ask that my name and the churches [sic] name be kept out of whatever disagreement and / or concerns you have with the Mayor of Allentown. Unless there is a CLEAR understanding of what was said and in what context it was used, it should not be addressed in public emails for the sake of your opposition and / or stance on this Cedar Beach issue."
Wait a tic. I already have a clear understanding. If Pastor Charles wanted his churches [sic] name out of the conversation, then why did he cast thunderbolts at those bigoted and handicapped-children-hating West Enders from his pulpit on Sunday? If he has the time to send a mass email, don't you think he had the time to return a simple phone call? I won't hold my breath.
Frustrated by this unwillingness of two evangelical preachers to speak to me, I decided to call God on his cell. Father Alex gave me the number. The Almighty One was in a foul mood yesterday because He was playing a round of golf with Moses at the time I called him, and was down six strokes.
"Jesus Christ, can't you people ever leave me alone? I'm half-tempted to send a lightning bolt up your ass right now, but you'd probably like it, O'Hare. Hey Moses, who the Hell are Pastor Charles and Randy, anyway?"
"Never heard of them."
Then the Omnipotent One put me on hold and continued playing his stupid game, draining my cell batteries until my phone died. Hope He had a good laugh. By the way, He cheats at golf. Buddy Christ told me that a year ago.
Pawlowski may think the Heavenly Father is on his side, but I got news for King/Saint Edwin. God's got leagues against the archangels on Thursday night, and Allentown City Council will be the last thing on His Heavenly Mind.
