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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Friday, July 03, 2009

Nazareth's July 4 Kazoo Tradition Continues

Today and tomorrow, a gazillion blogs and newspapers will re-publish the Declaration of Independence. Great men will give speeches to reassure us we are still Number One, baby. They hope we can forget our dying planet, lousy economy, even lousier health care and that little war in Iraq and Afghanistan, funded with tax cuts by insaniacs.

We'll bow our heads with religious reverence at the mention of America's name. We'll recite our modern loyalty oath, the pledge of allegiance, our modern loyalty oath. Not many will mention that William Allen, after whom Allentown is named, remained one of King George's biggest cheerleaders. None will tell you that Northampton County courts actually classified the Amish as Tories because they had religious scruples against taking loyalty oaths. This enabled "patriots" to take everything the Mennonites had, right down to the shoofly pie.

After all the speeches, we'll get drunk and blow things up. Real good.

I'll have no essay today. I'm too busy preparing for Nazareth's kazoo concert, which starts Saturday at 10 AM in Memorial Square.

Who says Nazareth people don't have a sense of humor? I'll be bringing my flipcam.

11 comments:

Lady Julia Penn said...

1/3 of the 13 Colonies were against independence, including the Allen family. A local militia actually attacked Mrs. Allen and her daughter when they were leaving Trout Hall to visit a sick relative. They sliced the leather canopy with their bayonets, toppling the carriage and smashing their slave's mouth (who was driving the carriage) with their rifle butts before the captain put a stop to it. The Allen men that survived the Revolution went back to England and were unsuccessful in winning monetary retribution for their property and wealth in the States.

Anonymous said...

That means there were more colonists against independence (percentage-wise) than there are nowadays against national healthcare.

LVCI said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Benedict Barack Arnold said...

Yeah, but going back to England gave the Allen's descendants access to free government health care.

It all worked out in the end for them.

LVCI said...

Lady Julia Penn said... "The Allen men that survived the Revolution went back to England and were unsuccessful in winning monetary retribution"

I guess things didn't change that much for many people of Allentown in regards seeking funding from the head of a nation.

Hmmmm, maybe this explains our karma-etic heritage dilemma here in A-Town?

Anonymous said...

What would make me set off fireworks?

The following story in the back pages (Very back pages) of the Morning Call:

Local Blogger found Dead

Nazareth resident Bernie O'Hare was found today, sitting on his toilet. He hadn't posted in an hour, and readers (Note, not friends) became concerned at the absence of his almost permanent presence as self apointed monitor.

The coroner has tentatively identified the cause of death as
"Blogging while crapping."

With Boonie, that is pretty much one and the same.

- Proud Long Dem on Vacation.
Politics, the way it oughta be!

IRONPIGPEN said...

Regular readers at my place know William Allen was a Tory!

We discussed that in the spring as part of a discussion involving Northampton's Brian Schneider of the New York Mets.

Today, we highlight the fact that the General Hospital of the Continental Army was relocated from New Jersey to the Lehigh Valley in December of 1776.

Part Two of Four Part Series looking at places in Allentown directly related to American Revolution.

So, today we have a look at the plaque on the Farr Building. Yesterday featured King George Inn.

Tomorrow, who knows where we will visiting...

IRONPIGPEN said...

"The Pennsylvania German In The American Revolutionary War, 1775-1883"

by Henry Melchior Muhlenberg Smith

CHAPTER XIV
"Our Non-Combatant Patriots"

pages 339-359

DOWN THE BRITISH!!!

IRONPIGPEN said...

Wonderful observation, LVCI

Nanny-staters are most likely pissed of Allen never received monetary compensation like there is no tomorrow.

Sets a bad precedent.

Lady Julia Penn said...

It's true. The Allens have the last laugh. They're across the pond, paying less money than we are for better healthcare, getting more vacation, they're thinner, sound more intelligent because of the accents, and they don't have to live at 4th and Walnut anymore. Happy 4th everybody!

Carol said...

In 1983, I spent just 3 days in Communist East Germany as part of a Lutheran tour in honor of Martin Luther, faults whatever, I'll take America.