Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Courthouse Civilians

We call them civilians.

These are the people who wander around courthouse halls, mouths wide open, looking around for hours. Many have died trying to figure out how the hell to get in, and sadly, even more have died trying to find a way out. Some have even accidentally ended up at county council meetings.

I can pretty much tell who they are, too.

Miserable old bastards with suspenders and hearing aids? They're either paying their tax bill, getting a doe license or are visiting judges.

Entire families, usually consisting of grandparents, parents and kids bouncing off of walls? Passports.

Man and woman, making out in the elevators, hallways, stairwells and everywhere else? Marriage license.

Woman, alone, usually crying or distraught? Protection from Abuse.

Man and woman, giving each other icy stares, flanked by hundreds of lawyers? Custody.

Large groups of young, black or other minority men? Criminal court.

Really hot, scantily clad younger women? Criminal division (for fines).

Well-dressed, cheerful and attractive older women? Probate.

The one group I can't pigeonhole is the class of people looking for permits to carry concealed weapons. I'll tell you about that next time.

23 comments:

Sister Maria George, your 2nd grade English teacher said...

I wonder why you spelled wander wrong.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Because I'm an idiot. Fixed. Thanks.

lighthouse said...

"The one group I can't pigeonhole is the class of people looking for permits to carry concealed weapons. I'll tell you about that next time."

Not a typical armed drug dealer.

Not a typical armed gang member.

Not a typical armed rapist.

Not a typical armed murderer.

Not a typical armed burglar.

Not a typical armed bank robber.

Not a typical armed mugger.

A law-abiding citizen? yes, or they wouldn't be granted a permit in PA.

Hee-hee! said...

Thanks Bernie. You reminded me that I have to remew mine!

Peace, ~~Alex

Anonymous said...

It should be easy to get around the Courthouse. John Stoffa renamed the floors. He made the fourth floor the third, etc. This was a major achievement of this term.

People should not get lost thanks to this amazing and intelligent insight by the County Executive.

Anonymous said...

Interesting that in Vermont, where there is no law requiring a license to carry firearms, people have the right to carry without one, the rate of crime is very low.

Yet, in New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts, where you have to give a kidney, sell your first born, apply for a license and be denied your right, the rate of crime is out of control.


An armed society is a polite society.

LVCI said...

Then there's the screaming minim wage, single working mother of three that court deputies threaten to arrest after she was subpoena'd for the 3rd time only to be told that court was cancelled. Even after she called in that morning.

Bernie O'Hare said...

That would explain the metal detectors.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Anon 2:16, Your accusation is a lie, The montrosity known as the copurthouse expansion, engineered by Judges Freedberg and Moran, was part of Reibman's $111 MM bond. He went along with idiotic things like placing the entrance AWAY from parking tso that people attempting to enter THEIR OWN guilding would be inconvenienced. And he renamed the floors. And he made sure the building was dedicated, long before it was finished, so that Stoffa could get none of the credit. Thank God for that.

Anonymous said...

ANON SAID "It should be easy to get around the Courthouse. John Stoffa renamed the floors. He made the fourth floor the third, etc. This was a major achievement of this term.

People should not get lost thanks to this amazing and intelligent insight by the County Executive.""" I GOT LOST IN THE PLACE!!!!!! I ended up in a small elevator with a prisoner, a guard and Tony Bassoline perhaps I spelled it wrong , but tony said "you can't come in here" and I replied I am just trying to get the hell out of here...to which the prisoner said.." thats what I have been trying to do for 6 months bud"

2:16 AM

Bernie O'Hare said...

God, you're lucky uou're still alive. Some folks just jump out the windows.

Anonymous said...

Your observations are correct Bernie, but what's worse, is that when I have walked in with my suit and tie to be acharacter witness for people, people stare at me like I am Barney the Dinosaur. (A Black man in a suit and tie, in the courthouse, not accompanied by guards, in shackles, or an attorney in tow ? He must be lost o something) (smile)

Alfonso Todd
BLURB Media/Promotions

Bernie O'Hare said...

Alfonso, Black dude wearing suit in courthouse? Preacher or character witness.

There are very few black, male lawyers in the LV, I'm sorry to say, and I know them all.

Anonymous said...

DO the people blowing up the giant rat in support of 10% annual increases for the unions count?

ironpigpen said...

Now, now

Unions are entitled

Anonymous said...

Hmm....which union would that be? Definitly not the one for the row offices.

Although I do recall NON union getting substantial raises and bonuses while row offices were waiting for 5 years for a contract. Guess, that will teach the the rank and file employee who made $9.00 an hour to ask for a decent living wage in their contract!!!

Anonymous said...

Floor renaming happened after Stoffa took office. Sorry, just a fact!

But hey it is an accomplishement.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Dude, I work there and you're full of shit. The floor renaming occurred while Reibman was still in office. The fancy new plaques did not arrive until after he was gone, but the renaming occurred while he was still there, not that he or anyone in his crowd of hallwalkers noticed.

Stoffa's main accomplishment has been to restore the county's fiscal stability, and it has reached the point where it has the best rating it ever had. I believe its bond rating is the highedt of all governments in the LV.

I realize that does not mean much to LongDems, who thankfully were ignored during Stoffa's first three years. it means little to spoiled brats like a deputy sheriff who constantly pesters council members about back pay for bullshit security at events like football games. But it means something to the taxpayer, who overwhelmingly support this good man.

Anonymous said...

When is the multi-million dollare bond issue and huge tax increase coming out. After the election?

Bernie O'Hare said...

Keep slinging your mud, LonhgDem. You have elections to lose so I appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

What will be Stoffa's accomplishements in his second term? Dispite this illusionary multi-million dollar savings you cite(not backed up by one reputable news source) he has jumped from one topic to another like a crack addict on meth. Remember he was given a $60 million surplus when he walked in the door in 2006. I woner how much of it is left after the sweetheart deal he gave PSSU. The average taxpayer must love that they get 8-9% pay increases a year.

In the second term what will happen. He is still the same stubborn, incomptent guy. County Council will not really change that much. I guess who ever the poor soul is to get the job in 2014 will have a real mess to clean up.

According to you Angle and his new best friend Jerry will make things work. Let the games begin.

Bernie O'Hare said...

Gee, illusory savings? They weren't illusory to Moody's, whcih gives NC the best bond rating of any LV government. This is despite all the LongDems like you who throw grenades that end up blowing up in your own faces. Keep up the great work. The people know better.

Anonymous said...

Where is the proof, as in a Real News reporter? None, nada. It is an illusion. The words of a County hack who works for his boss. The rating has been up and down slightly for years.

As the bond is paid down and the revenue comes in the bond rating goes up.

By doing nothing, which he is very good at, Stoffa has indeed helped the County bond rating. Having $60million in the bank when he took office helped as well.

The problem is that after the election next year or the following, he must build a prison. He will float a huge bond, raise taxes and the rating will drop slightly again.

Will Mr. O'Hare say bad Mr. Stoffa then?

We all know the answer to that one.

Short Dem