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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Cell Phone Addiction

I know some of you might find this hard to believe, but I do shit and piss. Quite a lot, to be honest. Yesterday, I ducked into a restroom at the courthouse set up with three urinals. Now I'd pick one on the far right or far left so that I'd leave some room if someone else came in while I'm midstream. But when I walked in, some asshole lawyer (I don't know who he is) was in the center. What's more, he had his schlong in his left hand while holding and looking intently at a cellphone in his right hand. 

Now I can understand reading War and Peace while taking a dump. But sending text messages while pissing is just nutz. 

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe he was surreptitiously filming.

Anonymous said...

OK, the visuals and puns here are simply outstanding. Well done, Bernie!

Anonymous said...

He was probably taking photos. Creeps are all around us. Best part of the pandemic was losing the obligation to shake hands with people who piss and shit and don't wash afterward.

Anonymous said...

I would be really careful about shaking hands with him during any interaction. Something to be said for elbow bumping in greeting.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he was live streaming his elimination or making content for his Grindr? Live and let live Bernardo not everyone has a fire hose like you that necessitates two hands on the nozzle

Anonymous said...

Crudest post of the decade.u

Anonymous said...

Hoof Hearted?

Bernie O'Hare said...

"Crudest post of the decade."

I've been cruder. I mostly write about local government. Can't get much cruder than that.

Anonymous said...

I've never used the urinal with one hand while using my phone with the other. I need both hands to wrangle "King Kong."

However, I do conduct much business on the phone while in a stall.

Anonymous said...

As long as my 65-year old prostate takes me to stop and start, I can clear my entire inbox. Urine is sterile. Deuce dropping is a different story.

Anonymous said...

guy's multitasking to make that billable requirement

Anonymous said...

You should have pushed him and made him piss on his shoes.

Anonymous said...

Your attendance there is proof that this is where all the pricks hang out. (in the mens room)
welcome to the club

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of the time I saw this guy peeing oof the Easton Bridge into the Delaware. I stood next to him and did likewise. He said to me, "wow this water is cold", I replied to him "yes, and deep too".

Anonymous said...

Obviously, that was not the Mediterranean manslab. The Human Tripod, as he is also known uses a mechanical device to wrangle his anaconda.

Mike4ro said...

Nothing wrong with making good use of time. I do. And i don’t take pix and I ALWAYS wash me hands! Although I put my phone away for that. Never too late to get on board Bernie!

Anonymous said...

You have the discretion of a 10-year-old.