I know some of you might find this hard to believe, but I do shit and piss. Quite a lot, to be honest. Yesterday, I ducked into a restroom at the courthouse set up with three urinals. Now I'd pick one on the far right or far left so that I'd leave some room if someone else came in while I'm midstream. But when I walked in, some asshole lawyer (I don't know who he is) was in the center. What's more, he had his schlong in his left hand while holding and looking intently at a cellphone in his right hand.
Now I can understand reading War and Peace while taking a dump. But sending text messages while pissing is just nutz.
Maybe he was surreptitiously filming.
ReplyDeleteOK, the visuals and puns here are simply outstanding. Well done, Bernie!
ReplyDeleteHe was probably taking photos. Creeps are all around us. Best part of the pandemic was losing the obligation to shake hands with people who piss and shit and don't wash afterward.
ReplyDeleteI would be really careful about shaking hands with him during any interaction. Something to be said for elbow bumping in greeting.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was live streaming his elimination or making content for his Grindr? Live and let live Bernardo not everyone has a fire hose like you that necessitates two hands on the nozzle
ReplyDeleteCrudest post of the decade.u
ReplyDeleteHoof Hearted?
ReplyDelete"Crudest post of the decade."
ReplyDeleteI've been cruder. I mostly write about local government. Can't get much cruder than that.
I've never used the urinal with one hand while using my phone with the other. I need both hands to wrangle "King Kong."
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do conduct much business on the phone while in a stall.
As long as my 65-year old prostate takes me to stop and start, I can clear my entire inbox. Urine is sterile. Deuce dropping is a different story.
ReplyDeleteguy's multitasking to make that billable requirement
ReplyDeleteYou should have pushed him and made him piss on his shoes.
ReplyDeleteYour attendance there is proof that this is where all the pricks hang out. (in the mens room)
ReplyDeletewelcome to the club
It reminds me of the time I saw this guy peeing oof the Easton Bridge into the Delaware. I stood next to him and did likewise. He said to me, "wow this water is cold", I replied to him "yes, and deep too".
ReplyDeleteObviously, that was not the Mediterranean manslab. The Human Tripod, as he is also known uses a mechanical device to wrangle his anaconda.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with making good use of time. I do. And i don’t take pix and I ALWAYS wash me hands! Although I put my phone away for that. Never too late to get on board Bernie!
ReplyDeleteYou have the discretion of a 10-year-old.
ReplyDelete