Local Government TV

Monday, March 16, 2020

Covid-19 and TP



Regular readers of this blog know I'm full of shit. Perhaps I need more exlax, but I sure as hell don't need more TP. One roll lasts me three weeks, unless I'm on a bean binge. Now people do stock up on milk and bread before snowstorms. Although that kind of panic buying makes a little sense in the event people are unable to get around for a few days, the bizarre toilet paper rush I've seen at area supermarkets is just plain cRaZy.

Psychologists have weighed in with all kinds of shitty explanations for our recent fascination with toilet paper. My explanation, and I am a Doctor (of Law), is that Covid-19 has people scared shitless.

11 comments:

  1. Thank CNN & MSNBC...

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  2. I guess I don't get the whole irony thing here. If people are scared sh**less, why would they buy toilet paper? I would think there would be a run on laxatives, suppositories and enemas.

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  3. Explanation is simple. Most people steal their toilet paper from work or school or public buildings. Faced with the prospect of these places closing, it's game on at retail with TP shoppers who really don't know what their typical usage is, thus the bizarre quantities.

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  4. Doc Roc, If one is scared shitless, he must need something to wipe what just departed. And no, if someone were already shitless, there would be no need for laxatives.

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  5. I'm selling a dozen rolls of TP. $100 each or all 12 for $1000.

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  6. The problem is one person sneezes or coughs 100 people shit themselves.

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  7. TP is going to become a commodity bartering tool instead of cash one will be using TP. Bernie this is a cRaZy way to act with the comming infection as bedpans will be the way to go.

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  8. Show me a man who needs paper to shit, and I'll show you a woman. Sack it up pussies.

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  9. A clever Britt who's name escapes me, has recommended a sign with a roll of toilet paper that has a line though it, as the international sign for panic.

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  10. The decision to shut down businesses was a big mistake. It has created more panic, pain and suffering than the virus ever could. Our economy is sliding into a recession. Small businesses cannot survive this hasty decision by Wolf and other scaredy cat governor's. Workers in restaurants and retail live paycheck to paycheck. Keep businesses open! Post a manager at the door to make sure people don't have symptoms. Take their temperatures. Have hand sanitizers and wipes available. Keep people 6 feet apart. China has 81,000 people infected. That is roughly the population of Bethlehem. In a country of 1.4 billion people! The U.S. so far has 2,500 infected out of 300 million. That is one quarter the seating capacity of Coca-Cola Park! Yes, let's be cautious, wash hands, maintain social distancing. But let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.

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